Best: Chris Jericho Explains It All
Chris Jericho is a heel again, and the world is right.
Obviously the true joy of Jericho as a bad guy isn’t that he’s bad, but where he goes with it. I’m giving this a best because we skipped that Save Us Dot Y2J Dad Haircut And A Glittery Vest thing from 2007 completely and went straight to what he’s good at — being a colossal True Life prick who makes every show he’s on a fun one to watch.
Now that that’s out of the way …
Worst: Tighten Up Those Examples, Chris
I was … okay, how do I put this … less than impressed (?) by Jericho’s reasons for the onset of the end of the world. He ran down the current crop of WWE Superstars for being “wannabes”, poorly emulating the things he’d pioneered and perfected before them. While this is situationally true, he had to stick to the people he’s scheduled to face at the Elimination pay-per-view, so some of them worked and some were John Cena-grade Cheapsauce.
CM Punk – This is the important one, because Punk calls himself “Best In The World” and Jericho called/calls himself “The Best In The World At What I Do”, with neither one being brave enough to admit they lifted it from Bryan Danielson and Wolverine respectively.
The Miz – This is the truest one, because yeah, when Jericho left they gave the suits and slow talking and dour arrogance thing to Mizanin, although saying it on WWE television is throwing Miz under an entire fleet of buses and rendering him even later of an afterthought from now until possibly forever. And while we’re at it, Alberto Del Rio probably doesn’t even OWN those cars!
but then, uh
Kofi Kingston – As if anyone could beef with a cardboard cut out, Jericho claims Kofi Kingston does exciting moves in the ring because he once also did exciting moves, and sure, if Kofi had started doing a boston crab and a quebrada between Jericho leaving and Jericho’s return I’d say he had a point (a Kurt Angle point, but a point). But nope, he’s complaining about dropkicks, I guess.
Dolph Ziggler – He walks to the ring with Vickie Guerrero because one time in his 21-f**king-year career Jericho walked to the ring with a woman. Miss Elizabeth doesn’t exist, I guess, and neither do Baby Doll, Sunny, any number of Steve Austin’s ex-wives and Woman. Well, I’ll give you the last one.
R-Truth – … says “what’s up”, Jericho used to say “shut the hell up”. Because “up”. Because they had to include R-Truth.
Best: TAKE YOUR BALLS OUT OF YOUR FLASHING LED PURSE Did Not Happen
Here’s the one time since August CM Punk has had a ton of material to work with to deconstruct and destroy another wrestler’s point, and hell, he could’ve even added a YOUR NAME ISN’T EVEN CHRIS JERICHO, IT’S CHRIS IRVINE!!! to the end of it, but nope, he just walked to the ring, didn’t say a word, held his title over his head, showed Jericho the back of his shirt, said “f**k the lemons” and bailed.
That’s good. It works. He made Jericho look stupid in a good way — the way that would get people behind Punk and against Jericho without really making Jericho look worthless. I want to see their matches, both because of this and because are you kidding me, Jericho vs. Punk is gonna be rad as hell.
Jericho, you didn’t even MAKE that jacket… you bought it! etc.
Worst: Does Anybody Care Whether Or Not Randy Orton And The Great Khali Can Get Along
Worst: “Aggressive Tagging” Is The New “Distraction Into Roll-Up Loss”
Every few months, the WWE writing team looks up “wrestling” on TV Tropes and picks something, and they like it so much they write it in to happen in every third match no matter what. The most recent plague was the thing where someone wrestling would get distracted by an involved rival (or that rival’s music) long enough for the person they’re wrestling to roll them up from behind and pin them, no matter how fresh they were before it happened they just kinda had to lie there like a newborn baby until it was over.
The new “that wordy sh*t I just typed” is aggressive tagging, where someone tags in or out by slapping their partner as hard as they can. It happened here, to show that Randy Orton and The Great Khali couldn’t get along. It happened again in the next match, when Beth Phoenix tagged in one of the Bella Twins to “show dominance”. Somewhere a writer is on the bus to work, headphones on, writing “aggressive tag, singles match, ???” onto a yellow notepad and grimacing.