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10 Athletes Who Would Have Been Greater If They Listened To Kenny F*cking Powers

By 03.27.12

Patrick Willis obviously listens to Kenny F*cking Powers.


Kenny Powers isn’t perfect. I know, I spit out my Mountain Dew and bourbon when I wrote that, too. But it’s true. He’s a man who has made mistakes after tasting legend status, and he’s paid the greatest price for his arrogance in taking his God-given talent for granted. America, though, is about second chances and stories of redemption. That’s why when some people see Kenny as a man who hates foreigners, the truth is that he just loves American and feels “that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good.” Patriotism, indeed.

As Kenny continues his baseball renaissance and his climb back to the top, where he will wear the Scream mask all he wants, he has been given the unbelievable honor of becoming the first ever Mother F*cking CEO of K-Swiss. And his appointment is already changing the lives of thousands of professional athletes and millions of aspiring athletes. For once, thanks to Kenny Powers, his incredible motivational speaking ability and his opus, K-Swiss Blades – you’re f*cking in.

Hearing Kenny speak and feeling his words attack my ears like a bulletproof tiger, I can see how San Francisco 49ers linebacker Patrick Willis was inspired to chase down that slow ass animal and tackle it with his bare hands. That got me to thinking, aren't there some athletes out there that could have used a guy like Kenny F*cking Powers years ago? You bet your Double D's.

Anna Kournikova

Brien Taylor

Greg Oden

JaMarcus Russell

Lenny Dykstra

Mark Brunell

Michelle Wie

Ryan Leaf

Tiger Woods

Matt Bush

TAGSANNA KOURNIKOVAARRESTSBRIEN TAYLORDRAFT BUSTSEASTBOUND & DOWNGREG ODENJAMARCUS RUSSELLk-swisskenny powersLENNY DYKSTRAMARK BRUNELLMATT BUSHMICHELLE WIERYAN LEAFTIGER WOODS

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