Best: Brock Lesnar Is Exceptional At Being Brock Lesnar
So, that was something.
I was expecting Lesnar/Cena to be “heated”, but I wasn’t expecting it to be THAT kind of heated … the kind where you think Lesnar’s wrenching in that kimura a little to hard and throwing Cena around a LITTLE too hard and you start elbowing the people you’re watching with and having little micro-discussions about how much of what you’re seeing is “real”. That’s an interesting approach, and a logical continuation of Brock’s “I’m not a pro wrestler, I’m a guy who beats you up, so here goes” thing. I wasn’t sure if Brock was gonna start taking liberties and rip Cena apart for real, because seriously, I don’t have a hell of a lot of confidence in John Cena’s shootfighting abilities.
And there’s no reason to think he WOULD take liberties, that’s the kicker. There’s no real reason (besides precedent, I guess) to think Lesnar would hurt Cena and bail on WWE again. But he’s such a convincing IRL dickface who doesn’t give a sh*t about anybody except Sable and Jimmy John that the thought creeps into your head, and against all reason you kinda want Cena to tear him up.
Interestingly enough, that never happened.
Worst: Yeah, Not Loving That Finish
I can see why Cena winning was the right call, and I don’t feel like Brock losing to him (especially after his turn as Jumbo Tsuruta to Cena’s Misawa when Cena pulled him up and Brock realized he wasn’t fighting that same weak rapper guy from 8 years ago) does anything to hurt Brock. Cena’s injuries (legit or not) leave Brock looking like a crazy monster, and the Extreme Rules stipulations and the Attitude Adjustment onto the stairs leave Brock open for any number of excuses as to why he lost. He should spend the next however-long-Cena’s-out F-5’ing the weird pecs off of Kofi Kingston and powerbombing Sin Cara through a ladder the second he reappears. He should use this as MONSTER FEUL~ and make everyone’s life a nightmare. Cena can rehabilitate (or film the Marine 3, or whatever he’s doing) and come back with a refocused purpose and reason for ridding WWE of Brock for good.
But yeah, how sh*tty was that finish?
Cena’s “moves of doom” are agonizing to watch, but he didn’t even really hit them last night … he just popped Brock a couple of times and Critical’d him out of nowhere and that was it. Maybe they can blame it on the diverticulitis again and turn Brock into a King Hippo type who opens his mouth and bashes you with an overhand right, but if you hit him in the stomach enough times his knees go weak and he collapses and he’s too blown up and diseased to continue.
Best: Brock’s Touching Tribute To Sabu
Get well soon, buddy.
Best: John’s Planet Needs Him
And the touching finale. Six months of Raw without Cena would be a breath of fresh air. Lesnar could continue his rampage. The WWE Championship could become the focus of the show, and Daniel Bryan can stop over to try his luck with a smaller, less abrasive champion (and bring his awesome stalker ex with him). People like Ricardo Rodriguez, David Otunga and Alex Riley can come out of hiding without fear of being tossed into the ring as an accessory and having their attitudes adjusted. Lord Tensai can take partial credit for softening Cena up. New babyfaces will rise in those moments when John Laurinaitis needs to handicap someone because “be mean to nice people” is the only text under “General Manager job description”. Maybe Zack Ryder can get out of Cena’s shadow and do something besides being Ducky to Cena’s Blaine. Then, in six months, Cena can return with some wrestling gear and a new perspective and it’ll all be fresh and gravy.
Of course you’re aware that a Cena time-off announcement means he’ll open the show tonight, but whatever.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night
CBattles6 (note: both of these options would be incredible)
Cena’s taking a vacation so he can rest his back after carrying all these rusty has-beens. Who’s he supposed to fight next PPV? Bob Backlund? Sycho Sid?
Cena looks like the guy from Doom when you have 15% of life left.
Why did they name the stick after Ken Doane? He wasn’t even the best member of the Spirit Squad.
This is like Passion of the Cena.
I’m mostly disappointed that CM Punk’s street fight gear wasn’t basketball shorts and a hoodie.
I HAVE TILL FIVE!
I like how Cena and Sheamus switched colors
Pfft, they weren’t saying “No”, they were saying “No…urns!”
chudleycannons, in response to M4G3RK
Went to make a pizza and my stream froze. Missed DBry’s promo. FML.
That’s what you get for eating dairy!
and there go the Bellas….forever
See you guys tonight for the Raw open thread, and tomorrow for the Best and Worst of Raw.