Worst: John Cena Vs. The Rock
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"The Best And Worst Of WWE WrestleMania XXVIII Live"
Awesome read Brandon, it makes me want to go to a Wrestlemania myself.
Wandering around during the HHH/Taker match is goddamn brilliant, and I salute you.
I’ve bee lookign forward to this report, and I must saw two things:
a) Goddammit, this is the best damn write-up I’ve seen in a long time. I was laughing hysterically at all the things my mind was whining about at ‘Mania ( who pays to sit behind trees? WTF Brodus? Holy shit, CM Punk’s fireworks are awesome. Is HHH in Castle Grayskull? ). Fuckin’ nailed it, Brandon. Marlins park was the cherry on top, as I’ve been in tears every time I’ve read something here over the last two days.
and B) goddammit, I’m jealous you had such a great time. The vids were icing on the cake, the Bateman autograph is awesome, and you meeting chickbusters because fuck you.
Speaking for myself, I’ve never had so much fun commenting on this site as much as I have in the last couple of days. It’s a great group of people that I tend to agree with ( except for Stinger and his anti-Rosa mendez gifs) , and as you can tell by the post count, EVERYONE was into it just as much as I was. Sorry if I blew everyone’s twitters up , but it’s been “mark-out madness” for me since this weekend. From what I can tell, the twitter love was a-flowing anyways, so I jumped on the bandwagon.
All that being said, I really hope all of us who have so much fun together can figure out a way to go to New York and meet up next year. I’ve never been, so I might go early and do the tourist-y thing, but I’d be down to slam some beers with y’all, have dinner in a fancy place, or go practice suplexes on homeless people for money. I don’t care. Something. Anything.
Oh well. Thank you all for making my weekend entirely enjoyable. It would not be possibru without everyone contributing. YES.YES.YES.
That sounds like a great idea, and count me the hell in. (And knowing people like you enjoyed it so much makes how shitty my body feels a little happier.)
YES! YES! YES!
Say it loud and there’s music playing! Say it soft.. and it’s almost like praying…
I’ll gladly do Rosa gifs if no one asks for random audience girl gifs and pics.
MrsTHESTINGER and I are definitely going. In the next few months we’ll start organizing something. We can try to get a set of hotel rooms and try to get tickets so we can all sit close. It would be the awesome.
I would love to meet up with you guys at some point. I will most likely be staying with friends in the city, but definitely want to hit up Axxess/indie shows with the Stroudmouths.
Rooms are cheap at the Newark Airport, & the former Meadowlands is on NJ Transit as well…
I don’t want to be the guy who finds joy in the sadness of kids, but I’m just saying.
Wait…whu??? #Unfollow (loljk!)
well, CERTAIN kids
True story: when we were little kids, my mom took my little brother and I to a WWF house show. Undertaker had a match with Ultimate Warrior and after he beat Warrior’s ass unconscious, Paul Bearer helped him stick Warrior in a body bag. It made my little brother cry, and this fucking guy turned around, saw him and started laughing. For years I thought that dude was a prick, but then I got old enough to hate children and thought better of it. :D
When I was 4, I lived in South Carolina. My father was in the military, and often times would have to go to Charlotte for drill. On those weekends, mom and I would often travel with, and hang out in the city while he was doing whatever.
Well, one evening, NWA was at the Charlotte Coliseum, and he managed to get tickets on the floor (because hey, military), and took me to see my first matches. The only match I can remember on the card…was Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair. IN CHARLOTTE.
So midway through the match, Dusty nails flair with a Bionic Elbow, and Flair blades like…well…like Flair. Four year old me LOSES HIS SHIT, because OH MY GOD, THAT MAN IS GOING TO DIE, ISN’T HE, WHY AM I WATCHING THIS?
I caused such a scene that I had to be taken to the bathroom to calm my shit down, and while I DID calm down, I refused to go back in to the arena.
So yeah, 4 year old me is an idiot who missed out on watching Ric Flair vs. Dusty Rhodes IN CHARLOTTE. When time travel is possible, I’m going back in time and punching myself in the face repeatedly.
Just as a sidenote, When I attended Raw recently, a bunch of kids helped me hold up my Funkasaurus cut out letters and chant his name. But I’m not sure they understood what they were doing. Also, their parents didn’t seem to care that a 27 year old man was talking to their 7-9 year olds.
Trap Jaw McMahon Helmsley FTW!
+Rhodes for the recap
B, I hate to break it to you, but they probably would have moved you to a different seat if you had said something to the staff. Apparently a lot of people were pissed about the palm trees and since they didn’t know about them when they sold the tickets quite a few people got to sit somewhere else.
I read about that later. Ah well.
Good thing to keep in mind for next year, though. If they have 4 gigantic skyscrapers holding up a steel cage or whatever, I’m going to be pissed.
Aaaaand now I’ve given them ideas. Sorry, you guys.
*runs around with sparklers* YAAAAAAY STROUD IS BACK! Yeah the moment they said the Stooges were hosting I immediately wished you banished to an airport like Tom Hanks…Sometimes, we have to make difficult decisions, and as much I enjoy reading your stuff I enjoy awesome Raws even more. And the nest time you get someone to fill in for you make sure they don’t suck.
If I get to go to Wresltemania 29 I’ll try and keep potential palm trees in mind when buying tickets.
If they appear appear not in character, maybe the three stooges thing won’t be so bad. I know Will Sasso is a huge wrestling fan from back in the day, but I don’t really trust the WWE writers to have him do anything entertaining. Lets just hope they keep it backstage, and don’t waste any ring time.
Oh no,I just remembered the Sasso/Hard feud of 97.Now I have to go erase over those memories by watching the Ziggler/Brodus head butt over and over some more
I wonder if having giants tickets will help me get tickets to mania…….either way im definitely going
Thanks for this report Brandon, this really cheered me up after having a crappy day. If you come to Mania 29, I’m coming to say hello to you. Living in New Jersey will finally pay off! My crappy day has nothing to do with ordering the pink Ziggler shirt 2 weeks ago, and it being back ordered for 30 days, come on WWESHOP!
Wait, was Mania a tax write off for because it was business related? If so, good for you, sir.
Brandon with the Chickbusters… Dreams do come true. Congratulations good sir.
Great write up and glad you had a good time before the Entertainment Show.
Oh and I think I figured out what is going on with VKM and DB.
VKM: Laurinaitis, I’m bored. What play thing can you offer me today?
Laurinaitis: An obscure wrestler in the Indy System, your majesty. The fans refer to him as the American Dragon.
VKM: How wonderful he wrestles.
Laurinaitis: Your Majesty. Will you destroy this, uh, Dragon?
VKM: Later. I like to play with things a while… before annihilation
Fast forward to now and you get….
Savior of the Universe
He’ll save everyone of us
He’s a miracle
King of the impossible …..etc
All of the Rhodes for that, DD
Now I know why ‘Gargoyle Scissors’ is trending worldwide.
Does that Feces Decapitation Finisher come with the Big Bad Brandon DLC on WWE12? And what would that finisher be called? Sorry you had the palm tree experience, that super blows.
Oh cool, you were at WM24, too? I remember there being palm trees at that one too…and the power going out…and fireworks killin’ folks! #Work
I’m sure most people here follow Our Boy D-Bryan, on Twitter, but in case you don’t: he Tweeted this evening that a YES! YES! YES! shirt is in the works, and may be available “as soon as Monday.”
Perhaps obvious, but YES! YES! YES!
I would like to apologize to everyone for not all the way through to Brandon’s “Yes! Yes!” reaction from the crowd.
biggest possible +Rhodes for this gentleman, for without him the John Laurinaitis impression video and Scott Stanford mark photo wouldn’t have been possible.
After reading through I’d like to add Johnny’s communion suit ruled.
AND I had big time Cena haters around me and these guys could not be dumber. The guy to my left was bitching about how Cena has only 5 moves blah blah blah and his execution of an STF is “sloppy”. The last thing I wanted to do is argue with this guy but holy shit The Rock has just as many signature moves and performs the worst Sharpshooter ever. We only see what we want to see though…
Yeah, almost nobody in WWE has more than five signature moves. If you have too many moves you become a “technical wrestler” and people call you boring.
Brandon, why can’t all wrestling be just like Fire Pro?
I long for the day when WWE will see the light and liberate the wrestlers from their creative shackles, and follow in the example of ROH and the pro-wres of Glorious Nippon. When will they open their eyes?
Tweeted, Facebook’d, Google+’d, and Tumblr’d
Great job and point of view, once again.
you, as always, are the best.
Honestly, your encounters with wrestling kids just sort of depresses me. I’d like to think that when I was a child, even a small one, I could come up with a better rationale for who I liked than BOO HE SUCKS *thumbs down*.
I like to think I did too, but I probably didn’t. I was the most emotional kid, and the success or failure of the Rock n’ Roll Express determined how good of a day I was gonna have.
I remember Sebastian Bach, but he’s from where I grew up, so I guess I have to.
I also saw the damn set (after missing the D-Bry loss while on streetcar) and immediately said to my friends “So WTF, what if you paid like, 100 plus bucks to sit there and be blocked by a palm tree? I’d be pissed.” Sucks that it ended up being you. :(
+Rhodes to you and belatedly to both of your fill-ins!
At least I’ve got a fun story about staring at palm trees to tell forever.
I did read some reports that if you complain about it to event staff they would move you to seats with a better view.
So…Kaitlyn. AJ. What did they smell like, exactly?
No idea, I was just trying not to act really stupid in front of them.
Nice as always. I enjoy these recaps more than anything I read online it seems, no offense of course.
Edge looks like a white Randy Moss, that is all.
Fyi, never say the Rock was out of shape and Cena carried his ass to Rock fans. I’m still getting hell about that comment.
He was in perfectly good shape, he just isn’t fit. Like, he LOOKS great, but he’s working out for vanity now instead of fitness.
Katie vs Kharma for WM29!
I honestly think she could do at least as well as Maria Menounos.
And better than half the divas division. Get her to the next tough enough tryouts!
Brandon brought up something that I’ve been curious about for a while.
-wrestles like a samoan
-has tribal tattoos
-has the very whitebread/80′s territory wrestler name of George Murdoch
-used to be a bodyguard for Snoop Dogg
-had a cryme tyme gimmick in developmental
-has a black momma in kayfabe
-is sepia toned
WHAT ARE YOU, FAT DANCING DINOSAUR MAN? IT DOESN’T MATTER BUT I MUST KNOW.
This column gave me a strange, incredible feeling, like how god must feel when he reads a best/worst
God doesn’t have a mark photo with the Chickbusters!
Then he isn’t taking full advantage of his position.
I can’t tell if this is a result of some kind of hero worship, but I find it very rare that I disagree with anything Brandon says. Not only does he seem to share the same strange fascination with Jesus Christ Superstar as I do, this might be one of my favorite B/Ws from the last year made possible by the fact that he basically said everything I’ve been saying to people since Sunday night (yes, I require validation from people on the Internet) and how excellent a job he did at describing the experience of the whole weekend. It’s making me look forward to next year’s ‘Mania since I’m likely going to it. Excellent job, Brandon.
P.S. You can bet that if this blog ever spiraled out of control because of Brandon’s eventual rise to Internet wrestling fame, I’ll be up on the rocks like so much Judas singing “Too Much Wrestling On Their Minds”
Spoiler Alert: BRAAANDOOOOOOOOOON!
This is maybe the best way I’ve ever been compared to Jesus. I don’t know how to love this comment.
I didn’t think I could be more excited for next years Mania, but seeing the pictures and stories from Axxess and the events all week have me downright giddy. I work at Metlife Stadium so I’ll be at Mania itself (and get paid damn good money to be there as well!) but I think I’m more excited for everything wrestling related in the area that week.
hook a brother up
A very good picture of you and Layla as well as you with the Chickenbusters. *Takes sip of Water* Mr. Stroud, you truely are, a king amongst men.
The Last Mania I went to was XIX. Looking at your pictures and reading your stories, I definitely have gotten the watching Wrestlemania Live itch again. If only they could bring ‘Mania to the West. I’ll be all over making a long flight to the Americas for that.
I disagree with your Cena/Rock match assessment. I thought it was a decent match made better due to the hype around the match. My only complaint is that Cena should have won that match. I think Cena winning would have made the match better as he seemed to carry that match more than I thought he was capable of doing.
Hi Brandon, I love your reviews on wwe. I look forward to them when they come out. I’m a fan of your work and I know you have people sending you gifs and what not. May I also help out and send you gifs that I made as well?
Edge = Jayson Werth.
More importantly, those two guys sitting in front of you? Multiply them by 1,000, and you just described every crowd I sat in at the ECW Arena all through college.
Finally – as excited as I am about Brock’s return just from a storyline perspective, you know what has me the MOST excited? The prospect that at some point in the not too distant future, Brandon will be using the phrase “F’s 5″.
Edge is basically the reason I draft Jayson Werth to my fantasy team every year. +Rhodes for you, sir
You must have been pretty pissed at Edge all last season.
There is a severe lack of Taker drooling on HHH.
Brandon: If we don’t get a b/w of WM X-7 I’m going to start complaining about your work rate on internet forums about professional wrestling (columns).
I WILL COMPARE YOU TO SCOTT HALL.
He’s not busting his ass enough for the Boys in the Back!
Oh god no. No one deserves that.
The man wear sweatpants.
I guess I’ll be the only one who’s looking forward to the Three Stooges being on RAW … I know it’s wrong, and all evidence points to the contrary, but I can’t shake the feeling that the movie might actually wind up being funny.
I dunno, it might because they got the “eye poke” sound effect right in the trailer, I have no idea …
If the ACTUAL Three Stooges showed up, I would die and go to heaven.
However, I will never get excited about Will Sasso interacting on a wrestliing program ever again. [www.youtube.com]
*lovingly scratches your head* Good report kid. You’ve got the juice now.
No, I was blading him.
I like to consider my reports fly like a pelican
So if the three stooges are hosting raw, is there a slim chance of Kate Upton turning up dressed as a nun?
if that happens, it’ll be the biggest Best of all time
My favorite part was HHH’s near Gallagher-esque murder of Undertaker
I know, I wish we’d brought clear ponchos to protect ourselves from the brain splatter.
Wrestlemania: the poncho! $24.99
When D Bryan lost i wanted to find you so we could sulk over WWE’s raping of our emotions
Wait a goddamn minute. Brandon, are you a Springsteen fan?
Worth the wait! I had the show on in the background during some gaming with my friends, and they all said the game got very quiet for about a minute during the Sheamus/Bryan debacle. I believe I may have mouthed “Are you fucking kidding me?” and then relegated the show behind 14 Chrome Tabs of D&D SRD.
Regardless, I waited anxiously to see your take on the show, so to determine whether or not I should bother checking out the rest of the show… and, you know what, I think I may just wait for clips of Jericho/Punk to wind up on YouTube.
Great write up, and well worth the wait!
Best: AJ sitting on the ropes to no discernible effect (she looked ungodly cute)
Great B&W Brandon. Your rant was everything I wanted it to be and more but I’m glad you were able to work past the “Event” and enjoy the rest of the PPV. You were obviously not alone in your disappointment. The friends I had over (who only watch on ‘Mania) were upset by the simple fact that was a “belt match!” So they understood my pain…
-Your Johnny impersonation has me cracking my shit up even during a third viewing so to you I say, bravo.
-Those freaking palm trees… Who the hell thought those were a good idea. Just goes to show how little the WWE takes the fans into account “no no, I’m SURE our paying customers would love to stare at pseudo bark for 4 hours!” Blegh.
-DickPunch needs to be in WWE’13
-Castle Grey Skull HHH is the best HHH, a close second being WM22 Fur Panties Conan HHH.
-I can’t even type anything about the wonderfulness that is Dolph without fangurling so I’ll just smile, sigh and point to the ‘Mania sign.
-Those drunk guys in front of you. ::shakes head:: Somehow, every event I’ve gone to since the start of the Attitude Era has had at least two of those in front of me. Of course, none of them have had such awesome tattoos. They usually proceed to drunkenly try to explain to me why it isn’t right for Token Foreign Guy to be rasslin in ‘merica! (after they’ve slurred through America the Beautiful) and of course yell WHAT at eeeevvvveerrrryyyything. Once at the RAW when Y2K debuted, one of them tried to convince my little sister to get on his shoulders so we’d “totally get on camera!!” She politely declined and the girl who did take him up on the offer ending up on the floor when he fell off the chair he was standing on. Neither of them made it on camera but the memory remains… ::cue song we’re using instead of Metallica for the DVD::
Just watched Smackdown. Skip the next paragraph if you haven’t watched yet!
That one segment reminded me of being eight years old, crying into my pillow with my parents yelling at each other downstairs. But worse. But also tempered by the knowledge that its just pro graps “acting” and not my two favourite people on TV screaming and crying for real. Ricardo stealing the mic from Lilian at the end of the show made me feel better.
But silver lining = BIG JOHNNY’S NEW THEME AND TRON
I will admit though, angry Daniel Bryan is scary.
He does a really good job of scary yelling. He and AJ could do Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf or some shit like that.
I have a theory: you can tell whether or not the company *really* wants a guy to get over by looking at his T-shirt. If it’s boring, or really ugly, don’t hold your breath for an extended push. Cases in point: The Nexus, The Corre, and CM Punk’s first couple shirts. Remember the ribcage shirt and the taped fists shirt? There are some shirts that I’d be kinda embarrassed to wear outside of a wrestling show.
All that being said, here’s Bryan’s new T-shirt: [www.wweshop.com]
It’s not ugly, and there’s not a lot they could do with a simple catch phrase, but… I don’t know. I *do* like the logo on the back. I’ll probably buy one of these pretty soon.
The ribcage shirt and the taped fists one are a couple of the maybe half-dozen wrestling shirts I would ever consider spending money on. Different strokes!
I own the taped fist shirt … I’m not too embarassed to wear it.
THESE DUDES PUT A LINE THROUGH GOD’S NAME… EPIC FAIL!!!
I love that you registered just to not get a strikethrough joke. You’re weird.
I’m watching Smackdown only out of sheer curiosity to see if the WWEeyuniverse actually does anything post-WM that works into any storyline. Still confused as to when the whole separate leagues thing ended and also why they even have this show.
WORST: NOT BEING ABLE TO GIVE YOU YOUR OTUNGA MUG AND ALSO MEET YOU AND STUFF.
Seriously. It’s just sitting in the backseat of our car looking lonelier than Marty Jannetty, and like it’s filled with sadness and regret. Possibly also like Marty Jannetty.
My boyfriend is also disappointed because he was totally willing to give you a completely platonic bro-style (I hope) Miz/R-Truth chest bump. Then you both could have made power fists (as apparently this is just what all boys who like wrestling do) and it could have been awesome.
All the sads :(
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