The people behind the website CharityBuzz operate under the philosophy “Do Good, Live Well” and with that one belief, they have helped raise more than $60 million by auctioning off special event packages that involve some of the biggest names in entertainment and sports. In fact, here are a few of my favorite auctions that I found after checking out the site:
- Meet Michael Douglas and Morgan Freeman and compete in Michael Douglas Celebrity Golf Tournament in Atlantis (and then marry a girl 30 years younger than you)
- Receive golf lessons from Butch Harmon (leave me alone, I love golf)
- Visit the Fox NFL set and meet the crew (how about I pay to not do that?)
- Spend 5 nights in a luxury hotel before attending the 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and have lunch with an Angel (!!!!!!!!)
- Spend a day in Los Angeles with Tesla founder Elon Musk (at first I thought that was the band Tesla and I was ready to take out a loan)
And perhaps the most intriguing CharityBuzz sports auction currently under way involves bidding on the opportunity for your kid to play catch with Brett Favre. Currently at $4,250, this package – pun really f*cking intended – is valued at $10,000. For your dollar, Favre will come to your kid’s school or practice field and teach him (or her, liberals) how to pass for 70,000 yards, 500 touchdowns and 8 billion interceptions, as long as you live in or near Sumrall, Mississippi.
It sucks that you either have to live in or be willing to travel to Sumrall, because I’d be interested in winning this auction just to pay a line of local kids to drill Favre in the nuts with footballs.