Worst: You Can’t Use Past Feud Talking Points Against New People, John
So John, let me get this straight:
1. Big Show is now super important to the company and has stacked the deck so much for himself that he can’t lose.
2. People say Big Show will beat Cena so bad he’ll never be able to come back from it.
3. If Big Show DOESN’T beat Cena at No Way Out, he’ll be forever seen as a failure.
1. Last year, CM Punk pointed out that Cena was a “dynasty” in WWE, saying how he was super important to the company and had the deck stacked so high in his favor that WWE wouldn’t let him lose.
2. Brock Lesnar said he would beat Cena so badly he’d never be able to come back from it. When Lesnar beat the hell out of him, Cena delivered a promo about how he’d need to take a lot of time off.
3. The Rock reminded John Cena that if he lost at WrestleMania, he’d be forever seen as a failure.
You can’t use the talking points other wrestlers have used against you against the Big Show, John. You’re just being lazy. Look, Show’s even wearing a New Nexus shirt! Next week Cena should say he could beat Big Show if it wasn’t for that damned Armando Alejandro Estrada.
Worst: Vince McMahon Gets Stacy Keibler’d
I don’t think they’ve invented a unit of measurement big enough to calculate how far Big Show’s punch came from Mr. McMahon’s head. It reminded me of one of my favorite things to reference: the time Chris Jericho accidentally hit Stacy Keibler with a steel chair. Jericho swung and hit the ring post, and Stacy, who had to have been at least 2 feet away, collapsed in a heap. It was amazing. Whenever anybody hits the post with a chair now I imagine Stacy, wherever she is, passing out and needing medical attention.
Isn’t Vince the guy who survived a limo explosion and a money giveaway set collapse? He’ll be fine. Stop making Michelle Tanner Surprised Face because he got punched.
Best: With Leather Signs At Raw
It didn’t get on TV, but all my love goes out to Andrew/Lord Barvis for bringing a Me Sign to Raw. Follow him @IAmLordBarvis and love him forever, like me.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
AJ wants smaller government.
Feeling pretty good about a Heath Slater victory right here
William Regal was on TV for upwards of 3 seconds. This Raw is a victory in my book.
Real Talk: Hornswoggle looks like 68% of wrestling fans.
Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo
If wrestling wasn’t fake, Big Show would just leave the cage without even acknowledging any offense from Kofi Kingston.
This match lasted shorter than William Henry Harrison’s time in office.
If Abraham Washington does not approach these guys after the match, I will be sorely disappointed.
better nicknames for Sheamus: “Alabaster Disaster,” “Mayonnaise Miracle,” “Ginger Avenger.”
Khali should get a blue shirt and a head microphone and call himself Slap Chop.
Fine. GOATFACE KILLAH IT IS
See you all next week.