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The Dugout: You Gotta Keep Jim Thome Way Down In The Hole, Part 2

By 07.02.12

Jim Thome Baltimore Orioles

Jim Thome is now a Baltimore Oriole, and “Jim Thome trades” are between “Phillie Phanatic got injured” and “Kate Upton uploaded naked pictures of herself” on the list of important stories for me to cover. It’s just what I do.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, we’ve set up our first ever cross-site Dugout promotion. For part one of this Dugout, you’ll want to head over to Progressive Boink, the strip’s original home.

The Dugout: Gotta Keep Jim Thome Way Down In The Hole, Part 2

Like that, leave a comment, then head back over to read part two, which has fewer curse words but more overt references to The Wire. It’s fun for all, and I love my friends at P-Boi, so stick around over there and read some dumb stuff.

Anyway, Dugout, Thome, Orioles. After the jump.

The Dugout

UptonGirl: What, really?  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: yes yes yes yes yes (wrestling thing)!!! finelly i can break the shackels of internet decentcy nazi’s an say what is literally an fruitfully what is on my f**ken mind  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wait  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: f**k  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no no no, not the stars

we’re the tamper bay rays you dum chatroom we dont have any stars

 
KeppingUpWithTheKardashians: just make some more pop culture references, nobody’ll notice  
 

** Online Host **
Welcome to the Bodymore Murderland Chatroom!

 
WordUpThome: SO THE GUY MAKING THE BARBIE-CUE IS NAMED WHAT  
FredFlintstoneAndino: boog  
WordUpThome: YOU CALL THE MAN ‘BOOG’  
FredFlintstoneAndino: boog powell, yahhh  
WordUpThome: BOOG POWELL

HE LIKE THE NAME

 
FredFlintstoneAndino: whut  
WordUpThome: BOOG POWELL

HE LIKE THE NAME

 
WordUpThome: THIS TWENTY-YEARED OLD KID, WHOSE MAMA WENT TO THE TROUBLE TO CHRISTEN HIM JOHN WESLEY POWELL … YOU KNOW, HE FORGETS HIS SATIN JACKET SO HIS NOSE STARTS RUNNING AND HE’S GOT BOOGERS UP IN HIS NOSE AND SOME STINKER, INSTEAD OF GIVING HIM PUFFS BRAND FACIAL TISSUES CALLS HIM BOOGER SO HE’S BOOGER FOREVER  
WordUpThome: DOES NOT SEEM FAIR  
FredFlintstoneAndino: pretty sure that’s not how he got the name  
WordUpThome: SO WHO SNOOGED BOOG  
FredFlintstoneAndino: do what  
WordUpThome: I HOVER-RODE INTO THE STADIUM TO FIND THE MAN FACE-DOWNWARD ON EUTAW STREET  
FredFlintstoneAndino: i ain’t goin’ to no court … motherf**ker didn’t have to kill himself over how we playin in june  
FredFlintstoneAndino: he coulda just watched us get our asses whooped like we always get our asses whoop  
WordUpThome: I CONCUR  
FredFlintstoneAndino: boog been cookin the same shit since i dont know how long … kill himself over some al east bullshit. i’m sayin, every afternoon in the park in front of 200 people, we poppin’ out, you know? i mean all them boys around the way, we pop out til late  
WordUpThome: SUNDAY GAME RIGHT  
FredFlintstoneAndino: like every year, boog, he’d watch us get to first place in like may, trade a few minor leaguers, play it out till the lead’s deep. think that mean we make the playoffs later  
WordUpThome: WHAT EVERY YEAR  
FredFlintstoneAndino: couldn’t help hisself  
WordUpThome: LET ME UNDERSTAND YOU; EVERY SEASON YOU AND YOUR BOYS PLAY LIKE CRAP, RIGHT — AND EVERY JUNE YOUR PAL BOOG POWELL, HE’D STAND THERE AT THE PULLED LOIN PIT AND WAIT UNTIL YOU WERE IN FIRST PLACE, THEN ASSUME THAT MEANT YOU WERE GOOD

YOU LET HIM DO THAT

 
FredFlintstoneAndino: july and august would catch him and beat his ass but ain’t nobody never go past that  
WordUpThome: JI  
WordUpThome: JIM’S GOT TO ASK: IF EVERY SEASON BOOG POWELL WOULD GET HIS HEART BROKEN BY THE ORIOLES, WHY’D YOU EVEN LET HIM WATCH THE GAME  
FredFlintstoneAndino: what?  
WordUpThome: IF THE ORIOLES CAN’T STAY IN FIRST THROUGH JUNE WHY DO YOU EVEN PLAY  
FredFlintstoneAndino: got to. its major league baseball, man  
 

** Online Host **
EvelandBrowns has entered the chatroom.

 
EvelandBrowns: Hey, sorry to interrupt, but the Indians are kinda killing us here and this’ll be 7 losses in our last 10. You guys want to get out here and help?  
WordUpThome: HEY DO YOU WANT TO BE THE DOCKS GUY  
EvelandBrowns: I thought we were doing ‘Roc’.  
WordUpThome: TAKE AWAY THE LAUGHING TRACK AND IT IS MORE OR LESS THE SAME SHOW  
EvelandBrowns: Okay, I’ll be Docks Guy. What does he do? Is he the “player” brother?  
WordUpThome: HE’S A DUMPY SORT WHO TRIES TO SUCCEED IN BALTIMORE AND HELP HIS FRIENDS BUT ULTIMATELY DOES TERRIBLE THINGS AND FAILS, RUINS EVERYTHING AND GETS DUMPED BY A GREEK GUY  
WordUpThome: YOU’LL BE PERFECT  
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com

TAGSBALTIMORE ORIOLESBJ UPTONDANA EVELANDJEFF KIPPINGERJIM THOMEKYLE FARNSWORTHPROGRESSIVE BOINKROBERT ANDINOTHE DUGOUTThe WireTRADES!

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