Yesterday I wrote a little about sexy Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke, and how we'd helped make her life miserable by exposing her to the creepy nooks of sexy and parody on the Internet. That got me thinking a lot about Kate Upton, a woman who purposefully used the Internet to wedge herself into those nooks, and how she'd been cyclically berated and celebrated by the Internet all year. Then I thought a little more about her, and I had to lie down.
The go-to spot online for bizarre online worship (assuming you don't want a Chan page popping up in your browser history) is DeviantArt.com, a place where people of varying artistic ability upload their work, mention how they put no effort into it and showed it to you for no reason, then obsessively beg you for praise. So, uh ... it's like a blog, but in crappy sketch form.
Anyway, with Kate's rise to prominence in 2012 via Sports Illustrated and Cat Daddying comes an increase presence on DeviantArt, so I've put together a collection of my favorite pieces. Inside: Kate being beaten up by Street Fighter characters, a little tentacle porn and a Nightmare On Elm Street crossover.
Yeah, I don't know either.
"Jordyn - New Look" by ~ian-narver. Kate Upton plays 'Jordyn', the protagonist in this guy's imaginary Wii game The Blonde Assassin. In it, Kate Upton has a sword.
"The woman beneath the man?" by ~Manyfacesx88x, aka "the Kate Upton/Zac Efron mash-up you've been waiting for".
the idea behind it is that underneath his face is another face and his face is like..a ceramic mask breaking away to reveal the truth. Not really Zac Efron just..a guy with a girl inside him in general..some sort of..transgender..thing or something. I dunno, my meds are messin with muh head..
"Thoughts ..." by ~mark-omlor. And he's right, people who make collages on the Internet about sex and a lack of trust are probably great boyfriends.
"Zombie Swimsuit Model" by ~thewalkingman. Yeah right, like she'd ever be this skinny.
"Kate Upton 1" by ~PCruz620, or "What would happen if J. Scott Campbell forgot how to draw torsos".
"Kate Upton" by ~greeneryforests. Couldn't decide if Kate should be part of a New Mexican mural or the "Take On Me" video.
"Kate Upton" by ~JerryRivasIII
"Inspiration collage" by ~lastchancelimited. Jesus, Martin Luther King, the Ninja Turtles, Kate Upton.
"Kate Upton Sketch" by ~drawing2be. They started with the nipples and worked outward.
"arte de amador" by ~jonarchy. I can't decide if my favorite part is the Seattle Mariners hat or the finger smudge nipslip.
"Kate Upton 2" by ~Blurr80s. Keep signing it, bro!
"Kate Upton" by ~longliveboy. This might actually be a drawing of Malin Akerman.
"Kate Upton" by ~xaifu, presented without comment.
In this piece ("Kaa and Kate Upton" by ~Smileyguy10), the snake from The Jungle Book hypnotizes Kate Upton and strangles her to death. It comes with its own movie trailer.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
"Kate Upton She Mask" by ~pope222.
Kate Upton wearing the Mask of Loki.
Picture obviously not by me and are owned by those who took it.
What's more random, a Kate Upton/Jungle Book crossover, or this?
Wait, sorry, here's Kate Upton getting beaten up by Balrog from Street Fighter II. THIS is the most random one. Behold the super, super creepy commentary:
I rarely pay attention to magazines anymore but then i saw this year's sports illustrated swimsuit cover. Kate Upton is a magnificent woman and the bikini she wore was amazing. So she's the perfect girl to use for my first celebrity KO. I sent sofyan the SI cover and the bikni in this drawing is based on it. Since Ivan drago is busy beating up Laura i figured balrog would be great as Kate's opponent. Sofyan drew a great Balrog and his kate is solid too. Poor girl, all I can say is she should be glad i don't work for Sports Illustrated. (~roborope25)
Let's all be glad for that.
"Hypno Kate Upton" by ~theeyeshavehills. Hypnotism spirals on her boobs are redundant.
"Demonic Tutor: Kate Upton" by ~00-PavoRandom-00. Kate Upton is on a German Magic: The Gathering card, "because it's summer XD".
"Kate Upton" by ~drawing2be. Somewhere out there a high school art teacher is getting really f**king sick of giving As to this kid's Kate Upton drawings.
"Fantasy Warrior Woman: Kate" by ~SilentArmageddon.
No real motivation on why I made this, just felt like it I suppose.
"Ninjayesh vs. Kate Upton - Part 8" by ~ninjayesh, or possibly Olivia Munn. This pic should be titled "I wrote down what I masturbated, now look at it".
"Kate Upton as a FBB" by ~dr-robert420. This is probably hanging up in Alex Rodriguez's bedroom.
"Calendar girls and their pets" by *BenTanArt. In case you were wondering, yes, Kate Upton tentacle rape does exist. Not here, though, this is just Maniac Mansion fan art.
Aaaaaaaand here come the fat manipulations! "Kate Upton Weight Gain" by ~qwertyryan.
"Harley Upton / Kate Quinn" by ~shadyuniformed. He couldn't decide. Both names were so good!
"Kate Upton" by ~juarezricci. This is also the first slide in my "The Very Best of Terry Richardson On DeviantArt" gallery.
"Kate Upton 1" by *BobbyRubio. Kate Upton, manga librarian.
"Kate Upton Warm up" by *greasystreet. I feel like she's going to turn and start instructing me about Windows 95.
"the dream and the nightmare" by ~drawinglerp. KATE UPTON AND FREDDY, YOU GUYS.
"Awesome" by ~paulorocker.