Nationals’ rookie Bryce Harper held his first ever youth baseball camp yesterday, taking time out of his very busy schedule to work with hundreds of Washington area kids on their hitting and fielding. While that is a very cool thing for a 19-year-old professional athlete to do, it is not my favorite part of the story. He also brought a giant check for $25,000 made out to the Greater Washington Urban League, which is also very cool because (a) giving back to the community that supports you and your team is a nice thing to do in general, and (b) giant checks are awesome and they should be utilized in financial transactions whenever possible. But, despite the dual-pronged coolness of this gesture, it is also not my favorite part of the story.
My favorite part of the story, you see, takes place around the 1:03 mark of the video posted below, when Bryce Harper addresses a group of kids working on their batting stances and dispenses this expert baseball advice: “Be as sexy as you can.”
I would have really liked to have been a fly on the wall of those kids’ homes last night when their parents asked them about baseball camp:
MOM: How was camp, honey?
KID WHOSE NAME IS PROBABLY CAYDEN OR JAYDEN OR SOMETHING: Fine.
MOM: What did you do?
MOM: What do you mean, nothing?
MAYBE BRADEN?: I dunno.
MOM: Well, did you meet Bryce Harper?
MOM: Did he give you any neat baseball tips?
WHATEVER: Yeah. He told us to be as sexy as we can.
MOM: … oh.