Ochocinco and Terrell Owens got together at some point during the winter, shotgunned a marathon of ‘Necessary Roughness’ and decided they could get their shit together and have a Diva Wide Receiver Renaissance. T.O. showed up in Seattle to run the 40 in 4.45 and earn himself a one year, $1 million contract. Ochocinco showed up in Miami, legally changed his name back to Chad Johnson (because serious business) and focused on the finer points of his game, using the experience he’s earned from a decade in pro football to …
Wait, I’m sorry, what?
According to [Davie police captain Dale] Engle, Johnson and his wife, Evelyn Lozada, were driving to their home in Davie after dinner Saturday night when Lozada found a receipt for a box of condoms in the car, sparking an argument that got “heated.”
When they arrived at their home, the argument “escalated quite a bit,” Engle said, and Johnson and Lozada butted heads, giving Lozada a laceration on her forehead. Lozada told police that Johnson purposely head-butted her, while Johnson told police it was accidental. (via Palm Beach Post)
This is one of those situations where blogger analysis is useless, because Jesus, I’ve never found myself “accidentally headbutting” someone so hard it opens them up in an argument over condom receipts. Johnson was released from jail on $2,500 bond and Miami terminated his contract within the day.
You’d think the rest of the Dolphins would just throw up their hands, say “okay, fine, whatever” and move on with their lives, but we live in a world where everyone has an opinion, so someone’s inevitably got to have the “who cares if he rage-headbutted a lady, we’ve got football to play” one. Dolphins linebacker Karlos Dansby, everybody:
“I hate that we didn’t stand behind him. I know the guys in the locker room would. But the organization felt a totally different way about the situation, and they probably had more information than we know. And they had to do what they had to do.”
“It’s going to be an even bigger distraction right now, I think, because of the simple fact we let him go. I think if we were going to be with the guy, if he was going to be our guy, we have to stand behind him ‒ even though the situation came about. He didn’t get that third strike.” (via NFL.com)
As it stands, it sorta sounds like Dansby’s taking the Roman Polanski defense (“this guy is good at entertaining us, so let’s forgive him for the stuff that should get him thrown in jail”), but why NFL.com even asked him about it or posted the interview is beyond me. It’s not Dansby’s call to make, and while Chad Johnson The Man is innocent until proven guilty, Chad Johnson The Football Player cannot possibly be worth it.
Here’s to hoping everyone T.O. knows properly files their receipts this season.
I want more like this!
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