Here’s the recap from Larry Brown Sports, which is so understated it might as well read “baseball game was arranged and performed”.
The Astros and Nats were tied at 4 in the 11th when Kurt Suzuki attempted to move Roger Bernadina up from first to second on a sac bunt. He got much more than he expected thanks to some embarrassingly sloppy fielding from the Astros.
I guess it’s hard to write “a guy bunted and the Astros jammed their fingers into each others’ asses until they lost the game” and feel okay about it. Seriously, I’ve sat here for 10 minutes trying to think of a time when I’ve seen a worse play in baseball, professional or Pony League T-Ball or otherwise, and I can’t do it. Even that picture is confusing. In one tiny little square you get every explanation for the Astros being the worst team in baseball, and for their 4-31 streak heading into this Futility Armageddon moment.
This is the kind of thing people put into movies about bad baseball teams in the opening montage so you’ll feel happy for them when they stop squatting and farting on the field. Get it together, Astros.
UPDATE: Here’s the Benny Hill version, by request.