Congratulations On Your Internet Fame, Chicago Cubs Blowjob Guy

I’ve been to a lot of boring baseball games, and I’ve seen fans soldier through the lulls in action by reading books, playing video games and pretty much anything else besides “watching baseball”. Now, thanks to this clip from Deadspin, I’ve seen a guy pass the time by making blowjob faces.

It happened during Tuesday night’s weather-delayed game between the Chicago Cubs and the Pittsburgh Pirates. During the ninth inning, this gent goes full Pornhub with every blowjob pantomime variation he can muster, including the straight-up gag and double-dong swordfight. It’s at least as interesting as a 3-0 Cubs loss.

Security eventually wises up to his show, but not before he makes Comcast’s slow-motion replay and becomes an Internet superstar. You’re the next Michelle Jenneke, guy! Thanks for making “Chicago Cubs blowjob” a viable search option, I guess.

If you’re reading this, Chicago Cubs Blowjob Guy, I recommend spending your next 9th inning going full Annie Edison:

[h/t to Cosby Sweaters, Alison Brie GIFS via literally everywhere on the Internet]

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