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Chinese Man Claims He Can Perform Hadoukens

By / 10.25.12

Welp, time to pack it up, UFC and Strikeforce, because there’s a new breed of fighter out there and his name is Zhang Feng. The 23-year old man, hailing from parts unknown (or China, if you believe him over me), recently put on a little fighting exhibition for China News, and quite frankly I am terrified of the results. It seems, if a YouTube video is to be believed, that Feng has mastered the Street Fighter art of Hadouken, or energy blast punches to us common folk.

Feng, however, calls his incredibly unique talent the “Shaolin Sunshine Hand”, which upon first glance is much weaker than the Buddhist Palm, but I suppose all mystical martial artists need to start somewhere. For this news interview, Feng lined up 15 candles, lit them and invited two journalists to punch at them and see if they could put any of the flames out. The woman could not and the man only managed to put out one flame. When it came Feng’s turn, he punched until every candle was extinguished.

Is he a great, big phony? Or is he the most powerful warrior on the face of the Earth?

Explain how this man became the new master, Oddity Central. (SHO-NUFF!)

Feng says he has been practicing the art of air punching for the last eight years, after doing some online research. He found that the form of “Shaolin Sunshine Hand” was the easiest one among the 72 Matchless Skills of Shaolin, so he started practicing it. At first, he only managed to put out candles just 3 cm away, but as time passed and his skills improved, he was able to extinguish a flame up to 3 meters away. But during these 8 years of training he used up more candles and lighters than he can remember, and at one point his family got so worried about his obsession that they forbade him from practicing. He continued to do it in secret, and although his family didn’t support his efforts, they stopped opposing him after a while, as long as he didn’t injure himself or set the house on fire.

Well, even if he set the house on fire, he could just punch the flames out. If anything, instead of allowing Feng to enter underground fighting rings and developing into a real life Shang Tsung, we should encourage him to teach fire fighters how to channel their energy into punches.

In related news, I once dated a girl who looked like Blanka.


TAGSCHINAFAKEHADOKENKUNG FUMARTIAL ARTSSTREET FIGHTER

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