Now that the World Series is over and the San Francisco Giants have escorted us into the most boring time of the year for sports, we’re stuck with just stupid ol’ football until the NBA’s regular season begins. I’m not trying to slight NBA preseason games, but they’re boring, so I guess I am trying to slight them. And I’m obviously kidding about football. Football is the lifeblood through which I forget all that is wrong in this world, and if San Francisco’s defense doesn’t score more than 20 points tonight, my fantasy football life blood should be in wonderful shape.
Either way, it’s still a Monday, so you’re viewing options are basic and limited – Monday Night Football or Raw. But if you live in the Northeast U.S. and you’re dealing with Hurricane Sandy right now, stay strong. If you lose power, let me know and I will call you and give you play-by-play. Of course your phone battery will die, but football is more important.
Monday Night Football: San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals – 8:30 PM ET on ESPN
I’m really not in the mood for Jon Gruden tonight. If he’s reading this – and I know he is – just tone it down tonight and stop trying to convince people that you’re anything more than a rhetoric regurgitation device. Because I don’t want to throw my remote through the TV when you try to make John Skelton sound like Peyton Manning.
WWE Monday Night Raw – 8 PM ET on USA
I won’t spoil last night’s main event at Hell in a Cell for those of you still planning to watch, but why does the WWE still use that tired old plot device? It’s so boring. Also, did you know that the WWE has a Zombie Survival Guide? Neither did I. Just felt like sharing that.