I have a running list of types of injuries that just sound horrible to me, and right at the top is a ruptured testicle. I’ve been kicked in the nuts before by some less-than-pleasant ladies, and on various occasions I have also experienced the unimaginable pain of sitting on the ol’ nads. (Ladies, I will never know what giving birth feels like, but you’ll also never know the pain of sitting on your marbles, so let’s call it even.) But I am fairly certain that if I ever ruptured one of my boys, I would not have much of a sense of humor about it.
However, that’s not the case with Warrington Wolves prop Paul Wood, whom I had never heard of before today because I am an ignorant American when it comes to rugby, but now consider a much, much braver and more grizzled man than I. During his team’s 26-18 loss to Leeds on Saturday, Wood not only experienced a ruptured testicle, but he played the entire game with the injury. And even after he went to the hospital and had the testicle removed, he joked with his fans on Twitter about it.
Fun and laughs aside, I don’t know the name of the Leeds player who kneed Wood in the baby batter maker, but I’d like to send a special message to him, as I just assume he reads this site: NOT COOL, BRO. NOT COOL AT ALL. This is a total, shameful violation of the bro code, and especially the sports bro code. Look, I get sports and know that passionate players play their games dirty, and I’m totally fine with that. Poke a bro’s eyes, scratch his arms and legs, bite – whatever. You do what you have to do to win, but NOT if it involves your opponent having a testicle removed. NOT COOL, BRO.
As for Wood, I could see him turning his removed testicle into a necklace. Seems kind of like the rugby thing to do.