Best: THE WORLD’S MOST LUMBERS JACK
Last night’s main-event was pretty good, if only for all the people watching. Big Show got to be great in his hoodie, folks like 3MB and Mason Ryan (in a shirt!) (it’s all part of the story arc, trust me, I’ve been working closely with WWE to insure accuracy) got to hang around at ringside and Punk got a win over Sheamus, even if it was with the help of two distractions and a Show chokeslam.
Really, the only two things I took away from it were:
1. How horrible Punk looks when he jumps off the top rope. I thought it was just his elbow drop (and his crooked moonsault), but his repeated double axe-handles were just awful looking. I’m talking worse than Miz’s. He salvaged it, though, by doing the Kikutaro “pretend like you’re gonna dive from really far away, then just hop off and walk over and elbow drop the guy” thing. That was glorious. Punk knows how wrestling works, and he should really be using that against us.
2. The lumberjacks chanted G-R-E-A-T-W-H-I-T-E during the apron hammerblows. You cannot take away a wrestling crowd’s ability to count along with moves. What, is counting too elitist? Maybe it’s a good thing they released Kharma. I don’t want to hear people chanting CHILDBIRTH during her ten-punch.
Worst: Just Because They Chant Goldberg Doesn’t Mean You Have To Validate Them
CM Punk’s title reign continued its slow transformation into Rey Mysterio’s title reign with another end-of-Raw humiliation in the form of Ryback for the second week in a row. When wrestling writers wrote columns about how Ryback hadn’t gotten his Goldberg vs. Raven-like “big moment” before a proper championship match build, it was not code for “do Goldberg vs. Raven”. Goldberg/Raven is one of (if not the) best 5-minute match in televised wrestling history, and if you haven’t watched it, here it is. Warning: People do not like wrestling this much anymore.
Watching it in German helps me pretend like it happened in wXw.
Best: Make Sure To Come Back For Our Hell In A Cell Live Chat This Sunday
Not to shill a thing you’re hopefully already planning to be a part of, but Sunday’s Hell In A Cell thread at With Leather is going to be great.
Our special guest for the evening is tentatively scheduled to be THE BIG O of ‘Z! True Long Island Story’ fame, so get your wrestling, YouTube or Paradigm City questions ready now. edit: Nevermind, he bailed on us.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
I was hoping nothing would happen at first, then Josh Matthews would run past the camera on fire.
Well, it only makes sense that Kofi is the IC Champ during LEAP years.
What are the chances of Bork Laser driving into the arena in a Jimmy Johns truck during a Ryback match and spraying him down with sandwiches from a high-power sandwich hose, thereby feeding him too much?
I just turned to the debate and, ironically enough, Barack Obama was ripping off Mitt Romney’s clothes.
Aj had a Covert Affair, and Vince wanted MANswers, so instead of getting a PSYCH evalutation, AJ put out a Burn Notice on Vickie. New season starts November 6th.
Truth Martini killed Slater and wore his skin.
I didn’t recognize McGillicutty without the backwards hat.
Stone Cold Jane Austen
RYBACK’S REAL NAME IS RYAN BACK.
South American, South African
See you on Sunday night!