My favorite Warming Glow contributor, Josh Kurp*, sent me an email earlier with a link to a Tumblr post that featured the above picture. What you see, obviously, is a man wearing a Chicago Bulls hat with fake poop on the bill. At least I hope that’s fake poop. If it’s real poop, then we’ve got a whole different ballgame going on.
But based on the assumption that the poop is fake, I am forced to ask – why? For further head-scratching, I will refer to the person who took this strange picture, @cordjefferson.
I went to a fashion show and one of the people sitting next to me was a man with a mound of fake shit tied onto his Chicago Bulls hat brim with a golden chain. “Is shit in now?” I asked the people around me, looking down at my boring grey t-shirt, which had no poop on it. “Shit is the new thing?” Nobody knew if poop was cool these days, and I felt both old and out of it but happy to be old and out of it.
You are certainly not alone.
In fact, if I could ever meet the gentleman in that picture, I would like to ask him the following questions:
- Why is there fake poop on your hat?
- Does the gold chain hold the poop in place or did you want to make the poop fancy?
- What kind of poop does this resemble?
- Why the Chicago Bulls?
- Would you like to poop on the Bulls?
- Do you have poop on any other sports team hats?
- How much poop is appropriate for a Cubs hat?
- Does the poop have an odor?
- Do people ever stop you and ask you why you have poop on your hat?
- When you don’t wear a hat, do you put poop on your head?
What a fascinating Friday this has become.
*Danger knows what he did.