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Try Not To Remember This: ALF’s 1987 Bouillabaseball Cards

By / 10.05.12

If you’re a regular reader of our Sports On TV column, it’d be possible to mistake me as a guy with great taste in television. I like to throw the “best show ever” tag around for ‘The Wire’ or season 2-8 of ‘The Simpsons’, giving me that learned balance necessary to be a true, objective authority on what people should watch.
Yeah, no. When I was 7, my favorite show was ‘ALF’. If you’re not familiar with ‘ALF’, it’s about an alien who lands on Earth in puppet form, lives in the laundry room of a suburban family and cracks wise with them so much you start wondering why they don’t just throw him in a garbage bag and drop him off on the front steps of the FBI. Oh, and he wouldn’t stop trying to eat their housecat.
Anyway, ALF’s home planet was a place called Melmac, and Melmac had its share of unique sports, including ‘Bouillaball’. I’ll let the surprisingly-in-existence ALF Wiki fill you in on the details.

Bouillabaseball was a sport played on Melmac which resembled baseball, but instead of throwing a ball, fish parts were thrown.
Bouillabaseball fans often collected trading cards, which were sold in a package with a stick of gum. The gum came in one of two flavors: Tabby or Persian.

At the height of ALF’s popularity, Topps put out two (two!) sets of bouillabaseball cards. I HAD THEM ALL. Now, thanks to the Internet (and the aforementioned ALF Wiki), you can have them, too. They’re a mix of the Garbage Pail Kids and stock photos of ALF. I don’t know. Here’s a gallery of every bouillabaseball card I could find, and I urge you to flip through and try to find every inappropriate joke or image you can. I’m pretty sure at least one of these players is supposed to be ejaculating.



TAGSALFBASEBALL CARDSBOUILLABASEBALLCRAPPY TV SHOWSTHE 1980STOO MANY SIMPSONS REFERENCESTV

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