Well NFL, I hope you enjoyed your whole day of relevance, because tonight the NBA returns and everyone loves the NBA more than the NFL. Wait, hold on a sec… my carrier pigeon Lorenzo just returned from delivering my latest batch of nude pics to Ciara Price, and there’s a return message on it:
“Dear Burnsy, nobody likes the NBA more than the NFL. Even David Stern.”
Damn, I must have been fed false information. Oh well, at least we have something to watch on an otherwise boring Tuesday night and then we can all go back to not caring about how many games the Miami Heat have won in a row until at least January.
NBA: Boston Celtics at Miami Heat – 8 PM ET on TNT
Ray Allen makes his debut for his new team tonight against his old team, which is all people are going to talk about for the next 24 hours and then the 48 hours leading up to and following every time they play this season. Also, Rashard Lewis makes his debut as the Heat’s new “Hey, stand over there and only shoot the ball if the other four of us have absolutely no shot”.
NBA: Dallas Mavericks at Los Angeles Lakers – 10:30 PM ET on TNT
Eddy Curry has been named the starting center for the Dallas Mavericks this season. Good luck next season, Mavs fans.
MLB: Gold Glove Awards – 9:30 PM ET on ESPN 2
The Rawlings Gold Glove Awards used to honor the best defensive players at each position, but now they’re often given out as “We’re sorry you couldn’t be the MVP” trophies for the guys who hit a lot of home runs. Either way, the only people who care about these awards are Cardinals fans, as we love bragging about Yadier Molina.