The Melbourne Cup, for those unaware (and climb out of your hole already), is Australia’s biggest annual horse race, so it’s a lot like whatever those horse races that people pretend to like here in America. And much like the fancy pants Americans (and soiled frat boys) who attend those races, people in Australia like to get dressed up and hit the Melbourne Cup, because it is the place to be seen by the biggest names in elite Aussies, like Paul Hogan and Hugh Jackman, I assume.
This year’s big winner was Green Moon and rider Brett Prebble, as the 2012 Cup featured the event’s highest prize money amount yet at $6.2 million. But nobody really cares about that today, because all anyone can talk about is the babe in the blue dress and why she wanted to kick everyone’s ass. I’ve included two videos after the jump, but please be aware that kicking everyone’s ass denotes violence, and there is at least one underwear crotch shot.
What I mean is that these videos were made with us in mind.
Did I say at least one crotch shot? I lied. Here comes a whole crotch feast.
According to the Daily Mail, this lady was just the tip of the iceberg, as at least 70 people were buggered from the race because they were causing problems with their intoxication. And here I thought Australians could hold their liquor. Such a shame.