If you haven’t seen it by now, WWE.com put together their list of the 50 Most Beautiful People In
Wrestling Sports-Entertainment History. Like a lot of WWE.com lists, it was fine, but it was also full of sketchy choices. Erick Bischoff? Jack Brisco? Sable higher than Maryse? Triple H at #44?
For better or worse, the list got us talking. Pro wrestling wasn’t created as a job opportunity for pretty people, but a lot of beautiful people have wandered through it in our lifetime, so who would I pick? Who would my friends pick, or the people I know who write about wrestling online, or wrestlers themselves?
The answer? We’re doing a re-list.
I got together with 27 (!) important internet wrestling types — including pro wrestlers from WWE to the independent circuit, comedians, writers, podcasters, the UPROXX network staff and even fans — to put together a more in-touch rebuttal to WWE’s list. It’s a look at who we think really deserves a spot on the top 50, and … you’re already flipping through the list, aren’t you? Fine, I’ll shut up.
Here is your CELEBRITY (AND OTHER PEOPLE) GUEST PANEL. These people were nice enough to help out, and deserve your love and follow:
– Clark Duke, actor, writer, director, former WWE Raw Guest Host and third most important male character in Hot Tub Time Machine. (site)
– Chris Trew, comedian, rapper, Air Sex World Championships host, ‘America’s Got Talent’ contestant, current manager of Anarchy tag team champions The Business, future pro wrestling manager of the decade, jack of all trades. (site | Twitter)
– David Shoemaker, AKA The Masked Man, wrestling writer for Grantland and Deadspin, guy people always name first when they say they read “____ and Brandon Stroud’s Best and Worst”. I do not ever come first, with good reason. (site | Twitter)
– Ari V., Adventures In Bitchsitting protector and writer of the much-needing-updates Feminist Pro Wrestling Tumblr. (Twitter)
And, because every list needs the opinion of the populace, I chose
my five favorite With Leather commenters five random people who comment on With Leather to provide their own lists:
– Tobogganing Bear
– Lobster Mobster
Whew. So how does this all work, you might be asking …
If you skim to the end of this and are all, “Brandon your choices suck what about ____” I swear to God.
The people on the judging panel were asked to send me a list of their choices for the 25 most beautiful superstars in WWE (tape library) history, based on their own criteria and interpretation of beauty. 27 ballots were received, and the wrestlers were ranked on a point system allowing 25 points for a #1 choice, 24 for a #2, and all the way down to 1 point for #25. The points were added up, and what follows are their selections. This whole thing is based on a concept called “Lists Of Shit” we used to do at Progressive Boink.
Tiebreakers work like such: If two wrestlers have equal pointage (and neither got a number 1 vote), the wrestler that appeared on the most lists ranks higher. If those wrestlers appeared on the same amount of lists, I went with whomever ranked highest on the individual list. A wrestler that was someone’s #4 beats another person’s #6, for example. And then if they still were tied I just picked one so shut up.
I asked the list-contributors to include comments (or “blurbs”) for wrestlers when they had something to say or wanted to explain their choice, and most of the blurbs written for the top 50 are included within. 105 wrestlers “placed.” What I mean by placed is that they received more than one vote, or their single vote was a #1 selection. The top 50 make up this list, but I included some bonus stuff and a complete listing of the top 105 at the very end. No peeking!
Three Major Disclaimers (Read This Part, Too)
Disclaimer 1 – The opinions expressed within are the opinions of the people expressing them, and not necessarily those of me, With Leather or the UPROXX network. We’ve got a certain vibe in the Best And Worst column that a lot of people don’t share, and that’s fine, because I wanted a lot of different opinions in the list. What I’m saying is that if somebody types “SHE MADE ME WANNA PULL OUT M’DYACK AN NUT IT UP,” don’t automatically equate that with “Brandon said something crass about a lady”. Unless, of course, I would also like to nut it up. Then assume away.
Disclaimer 2 – This list is not a work. I added up the point totals honestly and put it together based on the opinions of the people participating, as I’ve always done with Lists Of Shit. Trust me, when you get to #1 you’ll know it wasn’t Brandon’s call.
Here we go. Enjoy the list, and let us know what you thought of it/who you would’ve picked in our comments section below.
50. The Bella Twins – 51 points
(5 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – David Shoemaker)
“Their existence is like fan fiction.” – Clark Duke
“Do I have to pick one of them? Uhhh, which one’s the one with the vagina tattoo?” – Nate Birch
“*I did not care enough to even know that the Bella twins looked different until recently — which is not to pull some sort of I’m-too-cool-for-this-shit thing, because the reality is even more embarrassing: I realized there was a difference when I saw the Bellas on Ridiculousness on MTV. And what a difference it was. I mean, this is sort of silly, I know, because they’re twins and all, but Brie was much prettier, and I’ve long had a hard and fast rule about that you only go after the best looking sibling because otherwise if you get married someday then Thanksgiving will be torture, and so Brie is number one on my list and Nikki’s not even on it.
Anyway, I saw that episode of Ridiculousness right after they left WWE, and I actually felt cheated that I didn’t realize this sooner, when I would have had the chance to see Brie every week. And then I realized that they basically only tormented me when they were on tv, and so I decided to be at peace with the whole thing.” – David Shoemaker
49. Derrick Bateman – 52 points
(3 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Derrick Bateman)
“How much of a studmuffin is Derrick Bateman? Look at that face! He looks like he could play both the hero and the villain in a slobs vs. snobs comedy. That’s right, both Rex Flexington (the university yacht club president that enjoys ascots and shouting “you’re dead meat, Spaghetti-O breath!”) and Zach Wildsmore (the leader of a ragtag gang of goofballs that enjoy electric guitar music and zany pranks involving flatulent St. Bernards.) Derrick Bateman is the face of the USA and bygum America’s never looked better.” – Tobogganing Bear
“Derrick Bateman is easily the most beautiful WWE Superstar to ever wear a With Leather shirt on Canadian television.” – Brandon Stroud
“Ever since my homecoming date didn’t vote for herself and lost by one vote, I’ve learned to vote for myself. Always.” – Derrick Bateman
48. Kevin Nash – 56 points
(4 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #6 K. Sawyer Paul)
“Back when I was an impressionable teen, I used to get a pizza every Monday night and watch Nitro with my mom. She was super into Kevin Nash circa 1998, and I can totally see it. Long haired ex-truckers with goofy smiles have always been her type. (Sorry, mom)” – Chris Sims
“‘Big SEXY!’ Not ‘Big OK I Guess'” – Derrick Bateman
“Even I’m surprised WWE left Big Sexy out of their list.” – K. Sawyer Paul
“He’s tall and he was in that movie about sexy guys being sexy and making lots of money. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t really move around at all, he was in that movie about sexy guys being all sexy. Also, sexting is texty.” – Chris Trew
47. Ric Flair – 56 points
(3 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 Clark Duke)
“Because, Ric Flair.” – David D.
“If you can watch Flair’s heyday promos and not go ‘THIS IS WHO I WANT TO BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,’ you’re not doing life right. The clothes, the aviators, the gold Rolex, the swag, that shit-eating grin, the slang, the wild right turns into violence and berating Tony Schiavone… I put Flair in the pantheon of epic dudes next to McQueen, Newman, and Namath with no hesitation. (Go listen to Killer Mike’s song ‘Ric Flair’ for an example of a dude understanding what I’m talking about.)” – Clark Duke
46. Serena – 58 points
(3 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #6 Nate Birch)
“Serena Deeb, bald or not bald, but probably bald.” – David Shoemaker
“Okay, so, Serena had giant, ridiculous, bigger than her head breasts, which certainly counts for something. Also, speaking of her head, she remained surprisingly cute with it shaved. But what really made her brief stay in the WWE memorable was the weird sexual chemistry she had with CM Punk, which really put the Straight Edge Society over the top in terms of squickiness, and solidified it as one of my favorite WWE things of the past decade. In other words, Serena was one of the best parts of the best thing the “best in the world” has ever done in WWE. Not bad. Also, man, that rack.” – Nate Birch
45. Rosa Mendes – 59 points
(4 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 Chris Sims)
“PERM Rosa spewing her Rosetta Stone Spanish in a corset gets all the +1s.” – BookSavvy
– Brandon Stroud
44. Antonio Cesaro – 59 points
(6 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 Zia Hiltey)
Includes votes for: Claudio Castagnoli
“He is the closest thing they have to a dashing Bond Villain.” – K. Sawyer Paul
“He can speak five languages, shoot lift AN ACTUAL DINOSAUR, wrestle better than at least 90% of your favourites, and has a finisher that is a geo-political pun. He also looked smashing on the Halloween Raw as Slutty Claudio Castagnoli.” – FembotDanielle
“When Antonio Cesaro was on the indie scene – the first words that came out of my mouth were, ‘Holy shit, he is chiseled out of marble.’ You don’t get much more babely than this guy. I almost put him as number one.” – Zia Hiltey
43. Christian – 60 points
(4 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #7 (2) Danny Boy Downes, FembotDanielle)
Includes votes for: Short-haired Christian
“In the immortal words of Freaks and Geeks’ Harris Trinsky, ‘Get a woman laughing, and you’ve got a woman loving.’ Christian is absolutely, undeniably hilarious. And sure, the fact that he’s a great wrestler, affably Canadian, and an all-around feline-loving nice guy should be enough, but my goodness what a difference a haircut makes. Christian went from the kind of guy who people would think eternally resides in the mythical friend-zone alongside the chubby sidekick who just wants to tell you you’re pretty, and that guy who won’t shut up about it on Facebook, to ‘Damn, that guy could get. it.’ No offense to Jericho, but if I were Trish Stratus I too would make out with Christian instead.” – FembotDanielle
“I never got the Edge hype, but I loved loved loved Christian. To me, he was always the better wrestler and the funnier guy, as well as the better looking dude. It wasn’t until he got his short haircut that I really took notice of how ~beautiful~ he was, though, and it wasn’t until he became one half of Trishtian who are once again THE GREATEST COUPLE OF THE 2000s that he moved into ‘smoking hot’ territory. He is seriously one of the most entertaining assholes of his generation. And I wish Tomko had given him the beat he so desperately sought.” – Ari V.
“I’ve always felt kind of bad for Christian. He’s won major titles and competed in some of the most exciting matches in WWE history, but he’s always been in the shadow. Hopefully the 39 year old comes back strong from his current injury and makes one last push.” – Danny Boy Downes
“Christian has a normal guy haircut and a normal guy body, but every now and then the whole ensemble comes together and he looks like he could pick up a 9 at a bar in Toronto.” – K. Sawyer Paul
42. John Cena – 62 points
(5 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #6 Barry Petchesky)
“Thug-a-nomics? More like Hug-a-nomics!” – Derrick Bateman
“I have no idea why John Cena is on my list of ‘beautiful people.’ He looks like he was drawn by Seth MacFarlane. He has really cute dimples, I guess? Also he has really pretty eyes and has an awful lot of butt for a white guy. These are the things I look at when John Cena is on my screen because usually there is not much else.
He also sort of looks like the evolved form of Channing Tatum. John Cena uses 5 Knuckle Shuffle – it’s inexplicably effective!” – Ari V.
“Those eyes and that smile, man …” – Rachel Summerlyn
“He wouldn’t be pushed so hard if he weren’t a pretty boy. His push wouldn’t be resented so much if he weren’t a pretty boy. It’s a paradox.” – Barry Petchesky
“He doesn’t do a whole lot for me, but I have been assured by multiple friends with an interest in dudes that his big square head is super hot. It’s a shame that we now know he is the worst kisser on the face of the Earth.” – Chris Sims
41. Ricky Steamboat – 63 points
(4 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #5 (2) Zia Hiltey, Chris Sims)
“His arm-drag wasn’t the only thing beautiful.” – Derrick Bateman
“My first experience with Ricky Steamboat was a poster on my Aunt’s wall. My second experience was a VHS tape of him training by battling ninjas in a tea garden. When I got his autograph, he signed it NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, RICKY STEAMBOAT. I wasn’t sure if he wanted ME to never give up on my dreams, or if he was just saying it to himself. Conclusion: Ricky Steamboat has lived a weird, beautiful life.” – Brandon Stroud
40. Mr. Perfect – 63 points
(7 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Burnsy)
“Huh, so divorce Dolph from his abs and Ziggle-Wiggle, and you’ve still got a pretty handsome guy. He’s tops blooby of the Heenan Family, that’s for sure (Sorry Rick Rude).” – Lobster Mobster
“Dude’s perfect. If he’s not No. 1, then he can’t be perfect. And by the way, how perfect was he? He was so perfect that he accomplished everything on Earth and started Heaven early. *spits gum, swats it*” – Burnsy
“Women love confidence. Women love getting their hair permed. Curt Henning is the perfect man with the perfect head of hair. Women also love men who are flexible and did you see how far back Bret Hart got on the Summerslam sharpshooter? Hubba hubba.” – Chris Trew
“I told you, I have a thing for mullets. I don’t have to explain myself to you people anymore!” – BookSavvy
39. Sable – 65 points
(7 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #10 Barry Petchesky)
“As I’ve matured, she’s just become a regular chick with fake boobs but 12-year-old me can’t not have her on the list.” – David D.
“This is a nostalgia pick. Sable’s look isn’t really my thing anymore, but I’m pretty sure the first actual Playboy magazine I held in my hands was her spread. You never forget your first.” – Danny Boy Downes
“Sable used to come in the ring, highjack the microphone, and tell the audience that they came to see her do ‘The Grind.’ And then she would grind her pelvis around for a little bit and people would mostly sort of cheer for her. I always felt like I was in a grimy strip club when this happened, and that’s not a feeling I am too keen on having very often. So on television, in motion, saying things, Sable is not a keeper. However, frozen on a glossy magazine page without her clothes on and joined by a nude Torrie Wilson, Sable was a real winner in my book. And yes, I have an actual book in which I record all of these things.” – Brock LaBorde
“Somehow stood out from the umpteen other valets of the Attitude Era. Probably the giant breasts.” – Barry Petchesky
38. John Morrison – 66 points
(6 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #4 Rachel Summerlyn)
“Regardless of how you feel about Morrison, he’s easily one of the hottest dudes to ever grace a wrestling ring. The first time “Johnny Nitro” ever popped up on RAW I was like DAT ABS and had no idea he was the Tough Enough winner. The dude’s entire body is ridiculous and even his face is sculpted out of marble. Plus, he’ll totally let you nail his girlfriend, if you’re into that.” – Bill Hanstock
“I could really do without all the bedazzled jackets and cross sun glasses. But he’s a really funny dude with a strong jaw line, and that immediately gets him on the list.” – Zia Hiltey
“I know John Morrison’s deal was that he was a parkour rock star, but really he looks like he’s a refugee from a pulp romance novel aimed at people that are sexuallly attracted to the Bible.” – Tobogganing Bear
“John Morrison or Kofi Kingston. Stroud’s choice.” – Derrick Bateman
37. Wade Barrett – 67 points
(6 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #9 Lobster Mobster)
“Easily the best looking guy to ever have a Manic Street Preachers tattoo. FACT.” – Tobogganing Bear
“Normally wouldn’t have thought it, but WWE.com opened my eyes. Rugged.” – Derrick Bateman
“Clean shaven with a coat and flower or scruffy beard and jeans, fighting guys in a warehouse, it matters not, for Wade Barrett is always handsome.” – Lobster Mobster
36. Mark Henry – 70 points
(4 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 (2) Jason Mann, Brandon Stroud)
“He has the loveliest smile I’ve ever seen in a human being.” – Jason Mann
“Mark Henry is sensitive enough to write a poem for Owen Heart’s death, and strong enough to rip a car apart with his bare hands. He takes mark photos with Olympians (he doesn’t wait for them to take them with him) and tweets about zombies with Pee-wee Herman. Mark Henry is doing it right, and if I could be one guy, it’d probably be him. Beauty is on the inside, too, folks.” – Brandon Stroud
“You feel the burn when you cry.
It starts to come when someone dies.
The pain you feel as your eyes swell
And the tears will up in the wells.
The burn starts to choke you up.
The words come out slow and shaken.
You close your eyes and wonder why
There is a burn when you cry.
When Owen left it felt like hands across my throat.
I couldn’t talk I couldn’t see.
The burn overwhelmed me.
My heart is heavy, this is why
You get the burn when you cry.
It digs down deep, you cannot sleep.
You toss and turn in your sheets.
Awaken with sobs and wet pillow cases.
You wander aimlessly looking to the sky.
You feel the burn when you cry.
Come on.” – FembotDanielle
35. Sherri Martel – 70 points
(6 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 FembotDanielle)
Includes votes for: Sensational Sherri
“When I went through my rebellious teen phase, I went from Miss Elizabeth to Sherri.” – Burnsy
“Sherri Martel is the wise wrestling fan’s choice for the top North American female pro wrestler ever. Also the funniest, secretly-hottest, best at her job, etc.” – Brandon Stroud
“As many young boys as the demure Miss Elizabeth assuredly helped guide through the murky waters of puberty, you can’t deny that the ultimate sex symbol in wrestling is, and always will be, Sensational Sherri. Not just a manager, not just a valet, the sheer aggression of Sherri made her as dangerous any of the men. Sherri knew what she wanted, and would do whatever it took to make sure those she managed got it as well. Sherri was absolutely stunning, outspoken, and fearless to a fault. She oozed sex and confidence. She had the kind of carriage that makes a woman want to be her, and a man want to be with her. Absolutely, 100%, sensational.” – FembotDanielle
34. Daffney – 71 points
(6 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #6 Brandon)
“Tapping the ‘hot goth’ market. Such a simple gimmick, but she was perfect for it.” – Barry Petchesky
“She metamorphed into a smokin hot butterfly. She always had a different demographic, but she nailed it. She could be sweet and innocent or zombie hot. Quite the beauty. I definitely learned how to embrace my sexy side from her.” – Rachel Summerlyn
“I discovered Daffney the same way I discovered Miss Hancock: through pictures on message boards. As much as I fawned over Miss Hancock, my inner Hot Topic goth loved Daffney. It’s the whole “not looking like all the other women” thing that early Stephanie McMahon also had going for her, except early Steph wasn’t quite so batshit (that came later). Daffney was strange and freakishly hot and apparently she screamed a lot and she looked like she would annihilate you in a Pantera mosh pit. Since I never watched her perform, I can’t rightfully say HEY REMEMBER WHEN SHE AND DAVID FLAIR AND CROWBAR DID THINGS? But… I got pictures? HEY REMEMBER THAT PICTURE WHERE DAVID HAD HIS ARM OVER HER HEAD AND SHE WAS SMILING ALL CRAZY-EYED AND LOOKED PRETTY? I do.” – Ari V.
“My desire to meet and talk to Daffney has caused me to accidentally rude to both Abyss and Torrie Wilson. Sorry, neither of you is Daffney.” – Brandon Stroud
33. Justin Gabriel – 71 points
(6 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #5 Derrick Bateman)
“If you shave his face and throw a wig on him he’d probably be a pretty hot chick.” – Derrick Bateman
“Good gravy, he needs some kind of facial hair to distract from his apple cheeks (That’s what got DH Smith disqualified!) He’s also got a pretty goofy haircut a lot, but with those two issues taken care of, he’s quite handsome. That feels disingenuous, but really, it’s just some minor hair-based critiques.” – Lobster Mobster
THOSE HIP DENTS GOD
I got back into wrestling around the time The Nexus debuted, and from the moment I saw Justin Gabriel, I theorized that he would be twinked to all hell in fanfiction and paired with Wade Barrett. A cursory glance at a Livejournal community proved me surprisingly wrong. But who knew so many girls were into Heath Slater.
Anyway, he’s a handsome man, especially in person. I met him at Wrestlemania’s Fan Axxess this year, and he was very friendly as we talked about mohawks and how San Diego’s weather reminded him of South Africa. I don’t get the “Cape Town Werewolf” thing, but I like the facial hair. I’m also glad he’s getting more exposure lately, because not only is he fun to watch, but this means I get to see more of him in tiny speedos. However, he and I are gonna need to have a serious talk about the Skrillex hair. Not a good look, brah.” – Ari V.
32. Paul London – 73 points
(4 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 Lobster Mobster)
“Let’s discount the fact that he is probably high right now and that with a beard, he’s basically Happy Keanu (So, even more high), London is quite the looker, and honestly, the beard’s not even a deal-breaker.” – Lobster Mobster
“Paul London is one of the nicest wrestlers I’ve ever met, but he’s also one of those rare times when I almost didn’t want to take a picture with him because of how ugly he’d make me seem.”
– Brandon Stroud
31. Christy Hemme – 73 points
(9 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #7 Clark Duke)
“Christy Hemme’s position on this list is aided spectacularly by having met her in person and her being a legitimate knockout and also very personable. It’s rare that you meet a professional wrestler that looks much better in person, but there you have it.” – Bill Hanstock
“Christy was both my guilty and completely sincere pleasure. Guilty because she wasn’t very good in the ring. Sincere because her manic energy just kind of rubbed off on me. When I see people get excited, I get excited, too. And she was ALWAYS REALLY EXCITED.
It helps that she was also really sexy. I’m partial to redheads/gingers (which is why I don’t completely hate Sheamus), just like I’m partial to women who begin seducing an audience via pie with the line, ‘My butt’s hungry, it’s been munching on my panties all day.’ That was the best use of personification since Sylvia Plath spoke of mirrors as ‘the eye of a little god.’ Also the messiest.
What was I saying? Oh yes. Christy, never change.” – Ari V.
“Christy Hemme didn’t do/hasn’t done a whole helluva lot in any wrestling company that she’s been in, but I’ve always found her to be attractive while she’s not been doing all of that.” – Brock LaBorde
30. Beth Phoenix – 74 points
(4 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Jason Mann)
“She combined glamour with power and a surprising sweetness throughout her WWE career, and actually conveyed the silly WWE Diva mantra of strong, sexy and powerful. I think we can all agree she deserved a better career than to constantly lose matches by rollup.” – Jason Mann
“If I could exclude everything to just Pin-Up Strong Beth Phoenix, she would easily be in the top three. As it stands, her other looks are very good, but OH MY GOODNESS for Pin-Up Strong Beth!” – Lobster Mobster
“I wish the Pinup Strong gimmick hadn’t devolved into WE’RE JEALOUS OF BLONDE BARBIES OMG ITS NOT FAIR because Beth is a million times more beautiful in the ring and outside than any of the current Divas (with the exception of Natalya), in my humble opinion.” – BookSavvy
29. CM Punk – 82 points
(6 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Zia Hiltey)
Includes votes for: Nexus-era CM Punk, 2012 CM Punk
“Duh, thats a total given. He’s a babe.” – Zia Hiltey
“I’m a bigger fan of the Homeless Jesus Punk look than his new shorn look. I’ve just realized I have lots of opinion about men’s hair.” – BookSavvy
“WWE.com’s list said CM Punk looks ‘a little too unwashed.’ Well, I wouldn’t say a little. Punk oscillates between ‘sort of good looking’ and ‘a guy who sticks his finger in the peanut butter jar and puts it back in the fridge’ so frequently he gives me motion sickness. It’s probably for the best that he’s never been the type to care about looking conventionally attractive, as evidenced by his many experiments with facial hair and a dye bottle.
But his Nexus-era haircut and goatee was without a doubt the best he ever looked. Suddenly he was the kind of guy Lana Del Rey sings about: bad-boy cute and just scummy enough to seem interesting. They might even be a good fit together, since according to a track from Born to Die: The Paradise Edition, her pussy tastes like Pepsi. [That was not a joke. Youtube “Lana Del Rey Cola”.] Current Punk now sort of looks like a weathered vampire, which I guess is okay if you’re into that, but I miss when he had hair that actually looked like he washed it. Oh well. He still has really nice thighs.” – Ari V.
‘I’m casting my ballot for 2012 CM Punk. That handsome rogue has it going on. Modern CM Punk is not to be confused with ‘Classic’ CM Punk. ‘Classic’ CM Punk looks way too much like every town’s Guy In A Regionally Popular Hardcore Band With A 14 Year Old Girlfriend. (They normally break up because Melissa doesn’t feel comfortable with being pressured into stealing stuff from the Safeway she works at.)” – Tobogganing Bear
28. Stephanie McMahon – 87 points
(6 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 Chris Trew)
Includes votes for: Late 90s Stephanie McMahon, Stephanie McMahon (pre-boobjob)
“As anyone that knows me can tell you, I hate the bourgeoisie. I don’t want to talk too much about how vile it is that the McMahons expropriate the labor of its wrestlers, don’t give them any rights, won’t allow them to unionize, and otherwise do everything they can to make as much money on young men and women destroying their bodies and minds. It’s gross and terrible. But, boy, Stephanie McMahon is sure an attractive woman. Normally what I find attractive in a woman is a strong personality, someone who likes to laugh and smile, and someone that has intelligence and personality. A lot of that is strictly personality based, but a lot of that comes through in physical appearance one way or another. Stephanie McMahon doesn’t have many of those qualities, but there’s just something about her that is sexy as all get out.” – THESTINGER
“According to a recent RXMuscle photoshoot, current mother-of-three-and-head-of-creative Stephanie McMahon looks pretty good. But boy do I miss late ‘90s Stephanie, just before her crimptastic heel turn. I miss her straight hair and sweater sets and natural make-up. I miss that she looked like a beautiful, regular person amidst the sea of freaks that her father employed. I remember watching the recap of her proposing to Test, and she looked and sounded so earnest, and I was so behind them as a couple, and it was also probably the last time I genuinely cared about the outcome of a wrestling wedding before I just started finding them hilarious. If I ever find the guy who held up the “Steph’s puppies sag” sign that became one of the catalysts for her getting a boob job, I will throw him out of his own front door Uncle Phil-style. Repeatedly.” – Ari V.
“Never underestimate the appeal of ‘looking like a person that exists’, even if that isn’t what’s really going on. I was super smitten by Stephanie McMahon as an impressionable teen. In my brain she was hot because she looked sorta like a real person, y’know like a classmate or a coworker or a video store clerk or something. Granted, I didn’t know any women that wore leather berets, tolerated Test or were kidnapped by a shadowy business ministry controlled by their dad, but I rolled with my compromised version of the “girl next door” fantasy anyway. The heart wants what it wants or something.” – Tobogganing Bear
“In a vacuum, merely adorable. But power is quite sexy.” – Barry Petchesky
27. Alicia Fox – 92 points
(6 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 Tobogganing Bear)
“Here’s what Alicia Fox brings to the table as a “sports entertainer”: Brainmelting attractiveness. Here’s what Alicia Fox does not bring to the table as a ‘sports entertainer': Sports, Entertainment. Wrestling is not Alicia’s strong suit and have you ever listened to Alicia try her hand at this talking she’s heard so much about? It’s like someone on the WWE Creative team searched ‘Foxy Cleopatra’ on Bing (the WWE seems like a Bing kinda place) and threw a collage of phrase scraps in Alicia’s direction with a post it note attached reading ‘maybe do these for word stuff?’. It’s okay though, because Alicia Fox stops me in my tracks whenever she appears on the screen. She looks amazing. If I look at her for more than three seconds, a bowtie magically appears on my neck and just starts spinning and shooting sparks. That’s how striking she is.” – Tobogganing Bear
“I have a confession to make. I was all about Alicia Fox until Naomi came to town. And now with Naomi on the same show, not to mention Alicia’s atrocious won-loss record? She’s fallen pretty far on my list. That said, Alicia, if you want someone to console you about your won-loss record, call me. My phone number is on my website, BJMendelson.com.” – BJ Mendelson
“Personal bias. I have a serious thing for her. She has no other real redeeming qualities.” – K. Sawyer Paul
26. Alberto Del Rio – 97 points
(8 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 Ari V.)
“WWE.com’s list noted ADR for his ‘swarthy good looks’, which gave me pause for a few reasons. One, lol of course they’d call the Latino guy ‘swarthy’. Two, the last time I heard the word “swarthy” attributed to anyone was when Bender B. Rodriguez from Bending State was noted for his ‘swarthy Latin charm.’ Which was weird, because he’s a metallic gray color, and in his What-If Machine sequence, he was transformed into a white guy. This leads me to conclude that the only thing most people know about the word ‘swarthy’ is that it’s commonly used to describe Latin-American men (or manbots).” – Ari V.
“Smarmy is awesome.” – BookSavvy
“Should be equally appealing to damas y caballeros. I love the entire Rodriguez wrestling family and would vote for them in a single entry if possible.” – Brandon Stroud
“I would gladly watch a weekly drama where Alberto Del Rio played a millionaire playboy that was also a bank CEO. (He’s that kind of handsome.) He’d romance clients, learn life lessons from Ricardo Rodriguez and do a batshit crazy bump onto a mahogany table whenever a quarterly report spelled troubling news for investors.” – Tobogganing Bear
“He could be a soap opera star anywhere, a leading villain with a giant house. He could murder half the cast, but people would never tire of him.” – K. Sawyer Paul
25. Edge – 106 points
(8 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 K. Sawyer Paul)
“Edge has comic book character teeth. And I miss his hair too.” – BookSavvy
“You don’t get to appear in a limited release buddy comedy with Jamie Kennedy if you don’t got the handsomeness chops. Edge has got them chops. I’m not sure why he didn’t shift to short hair sooner, he looks fantastic right now. Edge should be higher on this list, but I’m a neck man and I refuse to compromise my appearance criteria. (Speaking of neck men, I’m pretty confident in predicting that Gangrel will not appear on this list.)” – Tobogganing Bear
“Edge is the best looking male wrestler in the world, and I can’t be swayed by any argument against it.” – K. Sawyer Paul
24. Eve Torres – 107 points
(7 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #5 Ari V.)
“I honestly cannot believe I’m putting Eve here. I’m frankly a bit disappointed in myself. When she was on the Diva Search, I actually had an opinion, which was that she was unattractive and irritating. When she got the, um, cosmetic enhancements, the sort of thing that usually makes me a little sad just in principle and which I don’t really go for in the first place, I was dismissive. I didn’t care, really. But over the past year or so, Eve’s been a minor revelation, both as a talent and as a looker. I think the lessons here for all the women of the world are to wear glasses, learn Brazilian Ju-jitsu, and turn heel. Except ladies? Probably don’t take life lessons from wrestlers.” – David Shoemaker
“Devious and or sexy librarian and or assistant to the General Manager of SmackDown Eve, jeez oh peas!” – Lobster Mobster
“At the risk of confounding the WL crowd and giving Brandon an aneurysm …I don’t hate Eve’s moonsault. The landing definitely needs work, but the form is okay. I also like her standing twerksault because I’m a fan of ridiculous taunts, and hers reminds me of Marle from Chrono Trigger’s Provoke spell, which seriously needs to be a thing for someone. I’ll accept it from Zack Ryder’s dad at this point.” – Ari V.
“As far as her character development is concerned, I’m just as confused as the WWE Creative Team in regards to what needs to be done with Eve. But I fully support her being kept on television for a while until this problem is sorted out.” – Brock LaBorde
23. Shawn Michaels – 107 points
(7 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – BookSavvy)
Includes votes for: Late 90s Shawn Michaels, 90s Shawn Michaels, Shawn Michaels (Pre-Jesus)
“As a kid I had such a crush on him. He had every girl swooning. Yes, I used swooning.” – Rachel Summerlyn
“You don’t get more sexy than 90s Shawn Michaels.” – Zia Hiltey
“When the WWE put out their Most Attractive list, I was sure I knew who would top the male charts. Undoubtedly, the number 1 slot would be a female because boobs. But no doubt who would be number 2, right? I mean, he’s the Heartbreak Kid! The Sexy Boy! Imagine my surprise when my beloved HBK ranked 17… 17?! W.T.F. Now, I want you to erase the Shawn Michaels of Inappropriate Ponytail Theatre out of your mind and think back to the 90’s. Leather chaps, awesome mullet and the Dwayne Wayne flip-up sunglasses. Preteen girls of today plaster their walls with Bieber and One Direction, but my teenage bedroom was covered with wall-to-wall professional wrestlers. The wall above my bed was dedicated to Shawn Michaels. (Please ignore my sorry teenage attempt to look “sexy.” Sigh.) Anyway, I loved the Rockers in all their mullet-y glory, but the moment Shawn threw Marty through that Barber Shop Window and became the swaggering jerk in the leather chaps, I was hooked. Regardless of how many TVs he gets thrown through and how many times he tag-teams with God, he is my only option for number one so if somehow he loses on this list I know Brandon has used Steiner Math to make this list.” – BookSavvy
“Every generation has its in-ring heartthrob. HBK was the rare wrestler who went beyond the one-note ‘male fans hate me because female fans love me’ gimmick.” – Barry Petchesky
“If Playgirl wanted him then he probably deserves a nod.” – David D.
22. Chris Jericho – 111 points
(10 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 Barr Petchesky)
“Who else could pull of the high half ponytail look?” – BookSavvy
“For some reason Chris Jericho reminds me of Neil Patrick Harris, and you better believe he’d be on this list if he were a wrestler. Under the facade of an inflated ego and light up jackets, he seems like a decent guy. Plus he’s Canadia and I need cheap prescription drugs.” – Danny Boy Downes
“Much like when he’s doing wrestles, the only kind of Jericho worth paying attention to on a beauty level is long haired Jericho. Weird top-knot Lionheart or smug Undisputed Champion, as long as his hair is shoulder-length or better, I will swoon over Jericho.” – Lobster Mobster
“It kind of breaks my heart to rank Jericho this low. Late ‘90s/early ‘00s Ari would be aghast and call me all sorts of sexist pejoratives. He was my everything, and one of the coolest moments of my early wrestling fan career was getting third-row floor for the first RAW of the new millennium and seeing Jericho up close. But if we’re a society that finds no problem with putting women out to pasture for the crime of aging, we should make with the equal opportunity and extend the same judgment to men. Time makes you bolder, children get older, and current Chris Jericho looks like the too-familiar stepdad who hits on the babysitter as he drives her home.” – Ari V.
“I imagine that in every young Canadian’s fantasy among men of that country, they all imagine themselves to look like Chris Jerico. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but it’s really funny to think about.” – BJ Mendelson
“Athlete, rock star, comedian. It’s completely normal to have a bro crush.” – Barry Petchesky
21. Daniel Bryan – 113 points
(9 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 Pete Holby)
Includes votes for: Bryan Danielson, Dragon
“Daniel Bryan is consistently the best thing about wrestling in almost every single capacity. There’s a passion for the sport that shines through in everything he does, and a spirit that is positively infectious. If there is a person who doesn’t want to hang out with him and his dogs and learn the secrets to why lentils are so amazing, that person is a filthy liar. And I mean really, have you seen that beard? You know you would.” – FembotDanielle
“You know how WWE is trying to assure us that Daniel Bryan’s beard makes him some kind of hideous animal person instead of just a handsome dude with a funny beard? See: Molly Holly.” – Chris Sims
“When I rank him this highly I am thinking of September 2005, in the few weeks between bearded hobo Dragon and shaved-head maroon tights Dragon. For a few weeks he wore black tights and had a short haircut, and when he parted it on the side and flashed his pearly whites he looked like somebody that RKO Radio Pictures was desperate to sign to a 5-picture deal. Of course, he looked pretty good both before and after one September seven years ago. He cleans up nice, but he carries his scruff well.” – Pete Holby
“Molly Holly is the good girl you took for granted. There might have been others out there with more sex appeal, but no one would treat you better than her. She never yelled at and always supported your dumb ideas. I bet she even makes one hell of a breakfast.” – Danny Boy Downes
“I’ve got a fair number of caveat selections on this list. Daniel Bryan is pretty much the ultimate anti-caveat pick. He’s undergone a huge change in appearance even from his WWE debut, and throughout all the variants, he’s still attractive. Fresh-faced and smooth or ruggedly bearded, his comely countenance is always appreciated.” – Lobster Mobster
“Yeah, I can sometimes be Mr Internet Wrestling Fan but Daniel Bryan has a lot of natural charisma. He’s the kind of guy who smiles and it makes you happy because he’s happy. I don’t know if that qualifies as beauty, but I want to be his friend and just hang out and make him laugh. He also has an everyman quality about him that makes his natural charisma seem much more grounded and realistic. Other people, like John Morrison, are just too ridiculous in their attractiveness to be realistic to the point where it becomes offputting and upsetting. Daniel Bryan manages to be a handsome man while still being very grounded in reality.” – THESTINGER
“I, for one, am also a fan of beards. And Daniel Bryan has the most epic beard of all time (second only to Grizzly Redwood, at this point.) And he has a dog that is named Asparagus and he doesn’t even eat meat!! And he doesn’t have a goat face. >:(” – BookSavvy
“YOU’RE GONNA GET YOUR F**KING HEART KICKED IN clap clapclapclap clap clapclap clapclap” – Brandon Stroud
20. David Otunga – 122 points
(9 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 (2) Bill Hanstock, Chris Trew)
Includes votes for: David Otunga’s Travel Mug
“Uh … duh!” – Rachel Summerlyn
“While David’s oily physique is greatly appreciated, I’m basing most of this on his lawyer-gear of suit and tie. Dapper Otunga is on another level.” – Lobster Mobster
“David Otunga is a specimen. We should stick him in a time capsule with a note that reads “THESE ARE THE BEST PECS THE PLANET EARTH HAD TO OFFER.” His proportions are particularly choice, and his v-taper has really come miles from when he first showed up. In short, he makes Adonis jealous and sometimes he wears a bow tie with a sweater vest. There is literally not one negative thing that can be said about him.” – Pete Holby
“I had to include another handsome man in this list so I wouldn’t feel like a total pervert who likes staring at women’s chests and bottoms. David Otunga looks good at every angle and everyone knows it.” – Brock LaBorde
“While coffee is best brewed near 175 degrees, it starts cooling down the moment it leaves the pot and enters your mug. But with an insulated container such as David Otunga’s Travel Mug, it maintains a high temperature at all times – something the WWE universe can appreciate since RAW is the “hottest” show on television.” – Chris Trew
19. Roddy Piper – 124 points
(7 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Clark Duke)
“Best heel of all time and downright handsome (while playing a HOMELESS man) in THEY LIVE.
“Roderick Piper is a wayyyy better-looking dude than you remember. There’s a reason people wanted to try to make him a movie star, even if his looks were largely on the way out by the time They Live rolled around. Check out some young Piper photos. That’s a good-looking fella right there. Of course, he did more coke than Robert Evans and was involved in one of the more overtly-racist wrestling moments of the 1990s, but the side of him that WASN’T painted black was pretty attractive.” – Bill Hanstock
“Piper in his heyday was hot, ok? That MacGyver hair was THE SHIT and he wore a skirt and hit people with coconuts. I had a legit crush on the guy.” – BookSavvy
18. Gail Kim – 131 points
(10 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 K. Sawyer Paul)
“Look, WWE.com, I get that Ricky Steamboat was beloved and everything, but you’re telling me that you gave him the token Asian spot on the list when you at one point employed Gail Kim? [Yes, I remember the manner in which she quit her job/was fired. No, it wasn’t professional. But no, I don’t care. We’re talking about a shallow list here.] [And I know Batista is part Filipino. I wouldn’t have placed him on the list, either.]” – Ari V.
“I remember three things about Gail Kim’s WWE career: 1. She debuted by winning the women’s title in a battle royal, which seemed really weird. 2. She was billed from “Korea,” for a while at least. 3. She was presented as one of Daniel Bryan’s paramours. So I submit this based only on the fact that she is a stunningly attractive woman, and had my favorite set of nude photos ever taken of a female wrestler.” – Jason Mann
“I love Gail Kim even more after her self-elimination from the WWE.” – BookSavvy
“BREAKING: WHITE GUY ON INTERNET FINDS KOREAN WOMAN IN FRINGE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY ATTRACTIVE” – Tobogganing Bear
17. Mickie James – 132 points
(10 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Nate Birch)
“Beautiful and crazy. Even more beautiful in person.” – Rachel Summerlyn
“I miss crazy, pansexual, v-licking-in-a-skirt stalker Mickie James more than I miss any dead friend, pet or family member.” – Brandon Stroud
“Mickie James is awesome. I could go on and on about why I love Mickie James. I have liked all of her different gimmicks and really love her energy. At the end of the day, however, Mickie James was on Ring Ka King so she ends up about 10 spaces higher than she otherwise might. Seriously, you guys, Ring Ka King makes us all more beautiful. Eugene almost made this list simply because of his appearance on Ring Ka King. Yes, I’m using this as an example to talk about Ring Ka King. But, Mickie James. She’s gorgeous, has a great personality, a lot of energy, and is just amazing.” – THESTINGER
“I’m not exaggerating when I say the “Mickie James is fat” storyline made me angrier than anything else WWE has ever done — more than Eddie Guerrero explotiation, Mohammed Hassan, mannequin f**king or anything else. Hell, I ever considered watching Impact when Mickie James made the jump from WWE to TNA, but decided it’d be better for my sanity to just tell myself she’d gone off to live with her horsies.” – Nate Birch
“There’s nothing hotter than a crazy native American woman who is a master mat tactician, but since going on to TNA, which is a few notches below your friendly neighborhood backyard wrestling league in terms of quality, I just couldn’t place her any higher.” – BJ Mendelson
16. Kaitlyn – 133 points
(10 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Ari V.)
“In Neil Gaiman’s Death: The Time of your Life, Claire Danes wrote in the forward that Death has “a body like a model, the clothes of a poet and the smile of your best friend.” That adequately summarizes how I would describe Kaitlyn. As if having great matches with the other talented and underused divas on NXT wasn’t awesome enough, she had to go and be freaking beautiful, as well as a person who seems like she’d be a lot of fun to hang out with, with her thrift store shopping and Simpsons quoting and ironic purchases of vanity license plates. Kaitlyn’s personality is the cherry on top of a can-also-kick-your-ass sundae.” – Ari V.
“I’ll admit it, I would REALLY prefer Kaitlyn if she had monochrome hair. Otherwise, ding-dang, she’s pretty!” – Lobster Mobster
“Kaitlyn is built like a rock. A really hot rock. Did you see her mugshot recently? I promise you if you find it you’ll see the prettiest mug shot ever. Go look.” – BJ Mendelson
“This is definitely an unconventional choice. Fifth place out of every woman and man that stepped in a WWE, WCW, or NWA ring? For the bodybuilder chick who won NXT Season 3? Well yeah, and here’s why. Even in a mugshot, where she has to stare into the camera after being arrested, she looks radiant. Okay, maybe radiant is getting carried away, but her mugshot is definitely better than some women’s actual glamour shots. She’s able to turn her natural spunky nature into cuteness. She carries herself with confidence. She has one of the most unique smiles in wrestling. If she’s not beautiful, then I think it’s time to rewrite what the definition of beautiful is.” – Tom Holzerman
“Like most grads of Rogue beauty school, Kaitlyn sure is one nifty number.” – Tobogganing Bear
“I’m not really into muscley girls, but Jesus.” – David Shoemaker
15. Maryse – 141 points
(10 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 Lobster Mobster)
“Maryse actually isn’t my type so much. Really obvious fake boobs, no butt, from Quebec, but she was pretty damn hilarious. Her dogged dedication to working at least half-a-dozen hair flip spots into every one of her two-minute matches was consistently one of my favorite things about RAW (or was it Smackdown?) back in ’08. A sense of humor is an attractive thing. At least so I’ve been told/convinced myself of.” – Nate Birch
“Miz should thank his lucky stars every day.” – BookSavvy
“Fun fact: Maryse placing below Sable on WWE.com’s 50 Most Beautiful People In Sports-Entertainment History list is the sole reason why this version was created. I feel sufficiently vindicated.” – Brandon Stroud
14. Molly Holly – 143 points
(11 of 27 lists. 2 #1 votes – Bill Hanstock, Veda Scott)
“Remember that time that they ran an angle where Molly was supposed to be fat and unattractive? That was the most ridiculous and unbelievable thing I have ever seen on pro wrestling, and this week there was a match on national television involving a Leprechaun that was given the gift of speech by Santa Claus.” – Chris Sims
“Out of high school, if you asked me what the ‘perfect woman’ looked like, I would have emphatically tapped a picture of Molly Holly and then gone back to practicing signing my name as “Mr. Molly Holly.” When I met her in person, she was just as sweet and charming as you would imagine. Of course, there are all sorts of horrible stories to be found about her, because it’s pro wrestling and there ain’t nobody a saint in this devil’s-asshole of an industry. But I will always believe she was the most legitimately wonderful person in the WWF. Oh my darling Molly-chan, I hope you’re happy … wherever you are.” – Bill Hanstock
“When I met Molly Holly, she asked if I wanted to pose for a photo ‘like we’re friends,’ or if I wanted her to put me in a headlock. When she signed my autograph, she wrote ‘it was such a pleasure to meet you!’ I have never had my heart’s ass kicked so hard.” – Brandon Stroud
“can you believe Molly placed below HHH I mean really
I never liked the ‘girl next door’ label, as it’s so often conflated with weird, creepy ideas of what guys want women to be. The appeal of the girl next door basically boils down to ‘She looks really sweet and wholesome, like she would never break your heart, and for these reasons I wanna tap it.’ Molly was often described as having this type of appeal, and yeah, she looks sweet, and she’s always been gorgeous, but no matter how hard they tried to get ‘junk in the trunk’ over, she was more always more complex than that. And more talented than they gave her credit for. Molly is awesome and you should feel bad if you don’t think she is awesome.” – Ari V.
“Molly Holly. That seems really hipster obnoxious but she seriously is pretty awesome.” – Veda Scott
13. Torrie Wilson – 162 points
(11 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 Burnsy)
“Find a better body and face combo out there in this ugly-ass world of ours and show it to me. Please. The world needs more Torrie Wilsons.” – Brock LaBorde
“Billy Kidman? Really?” – Barry Petchesky
“I’m a sucker for blondes. The thing I’ve always wondered about Torrie, though, is if she even pretends to feel anything with A-Rod. I just assume she’s like the Holland Tunnel down there ever since Kevin Nash.” – Burnsy
“Hmmm….. another in shape blonde girl. I like to remember Torrie Wilson for seducing David Flair and not for accompanying Carlito. It’s hard to imagine that she’s 37 now. I’m glad that I’ll never get old like that.” – Danny Boy Downes
12. Rick Rude – 164 points
(11 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 Derrick Bateman)
“Hope you liked those pretty lady pictures. HERE’S RICK RUDE IN A HAMMOCK.” – Brandon Stroud
“Hands down my favorite wrestler. He was the sexiest man alive at this time, sweathogs.” – Rachel Summerlyn
“I never liked the adjective ‘Ravishing’ to describe a man’s looks. Also, he’s Rude. For me, politeness and manners are among the most beautiful traits a man who kicks the crap out of other men for a living can have.” – Burnsy
“You can practically smell the whiskey and cigarettes from his breath by merely a photo. A true measure of a man.” – Derrick Bateman
“I have a confession. Rick Rude never really did it for me. But I admit that I understand the appeal. so much so that I put him on the list for good measure.” – Zia Hiltey
“For a guy that was booed and hissed and GRRR LOOK AT THE WAY I’M GIVING YOU A THUMBS DOWN MR. WRESTLER YOU MUST NOT LIKE THAT by crowds worldwide for being a fancylad prettyboy, Rick Rude was one f**king wrecking ball of hunky ruggedness. And not in the ‘Barney Rubble is not taking the divorce well’ sorta way that Rugged Ronnie Garvin brought to the table either. Just take a moment to bask in the manliness of Rude’s mustache. It’s sinewy for goodness sakes! It’s the kind of mustache that could get a pictorial in both Torso and Soldier of Fortune. Loads of people through history have won their face on the ass of their work attire (Franz Liszt, Princess Diana, Plato), but none could justify it the way that Ravishing Rick Rude could. He was a work of art, dagblastit!” – Tobogganing Bear
“I have to imagine, should we have access to a time machine, you’d find a lot of Rick Rude posters in a lot of lady wrestling fan’s bedrooms. And some guys. Ok. A lot of guys. Maybe yours?” – BJ Mendelson
11. Cody Rhodes – 164 points
(11 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote- Rachel Summerlyn)
“Just look at this man, is there really any explanation needed as to why is on top of my list. Those eyes, that smile, his in ring work and his bloodline. Cody Rhodes is the best at everything.” – Rachel Summerlyn
“Cody Rhodes honestly looks kind of like a Bela Lugosi ghoul in the general “face” area, but he gets like a billion bonus points for looking like he does, considering the genetics he’s working with. His father was DUSTY RHODES. The dude they made a lifecast of to make the practical effect for “Pizza the Hutt” in Spaceballs. Cody Rhodes should not look like he does, even if his mother was a flying mermaid riding a unicorn in a land of cotton candy clouds and golden geese.” – Bill Hanstock
“In the same vein as Natalya, how did this man come from Dusty Rhodes?” – BookSavvy
“Here’s something you don’t see often enough in wrestling: conventionally good-looking guys wearing masks and tormenting themselves about their supposedly vanished good looks to the point of insanity. It was something different and complex and he was GREAT at it. Plus, from an aesthetic standpoint, the mask and hood dramatically softened his features enough that I found him attractive AND was attracted to him. Yes, in other words, I don’t find him that appealing outside of the mask and hood. No, I don’t know why this is my taste, either. MAYBE I JUST LIKE PROJECTS, OKAY?” – Ari V.
“Cody is one of the few wrestlers that’s received the ‘self-absorbed handsome man’ gimmick that can actually pull off ‘handsome’. Rick Martel wasn’t a gremlin, but didn’t look like a model, he looked like a guy that ran Quebec’s third most popular wine cooler company. Lots of ‘handsome’ brand wrestlers were just dudes with blonde hair that wore a robe to the ring (because only the supremely vain wear robes I guess) and had faces that looked like someone pressed an iron onto a slab of irregular ground chuck. Not Cody, he’s a gorgeous man that continued looking all studly and the like under a Richard Hamilton mask.” – Tobogganing Bear
“I don’t necessarily want to be Cody Rhodes, unlike how I wanted to be like Sting when I was a kid, but I can’t deny the fact that Cody Rhodes is a handsome young lad. I have no idea how he is Dusty Rhodes’ son. Cody Rhodes also has the additional bonus of being engaged to one of the most incredibly beautiful women in the world. In 50 years I imagine their freakishly beautiful children to be worshipped as gods as they usher in a new age of peace and harmony. Assuming President The Rock doesn’t destroy the world in the mean time.” – THESTINGER
10. The Rock – 183 points
(10 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Tobogganing Bear)
“Have you seen that smile?” – Zia Hiltey
“I mean did you see Walking Tall? DAMN!” – Derrick Bateman
“If he’s good enough for the movies, he must be good enough for this ’50 Wrestling People Who Weren’t Totally Weird Looking’ list I figure.” – Nate Birch
“When you’re handsome enough for Hollywood, it’s probably a good idea to get out of wrestling.” – Barry Petchesky
“The Rock is what I imagine ancient kings and leaders of men used to look like. If Rocky put out a PSA tomorrow asking for recruits to help him overthrow the government of New Mexico (because we can safely assume he has a place in Santa Fe- it’s beautiful, nobody bothers him, he can focus on his painting without Wahlberg bugging him to spot him ‘for just two more reps’), there’s like a 55% chance I’d drop everything and get my regulation-issue tribal tats.” – Clark Duke
“He may look good on the outside, but just know that on the inside? His wrestling persona these days is that of a hacky, entitled homophobe who only shows up when it’s convenient for him to do so and whose entire repertoire of dialogue is ‘I don’t like you because you may or may not be gay.'” – BJ Mendelson
“Let’s get one thing straight here: 2012 The Rock is not fun. He is not funny. I’ve outgrown his poor attempts at new catchphrases via terrible insults like “kung pao bitch.” But Hollywood Heel Rock is one of my favorites ever ever, and Dwayne Johnson is still one ridiculously good looking guy. Everything is just seriously right with his face. His eyes. Those cheekbones. And his smile! ::sigh:: Among the many crimes that WWE’s original 50 Most Beautiful list committed is placing The Rock below rotisserie-chicken-skinned Randy Orton, whose eyes are beadier than that blue muppet who keeps going to Charlie’s Restaurant no matter how many times Grover f*cks up his order.” – Ari V.
“I know, right? I’m just as surprised as you are. It’s just…The Rock really is so gawshdarn good looking. It’s easy to overlook it when he comes back to the WWE to play Cool Uncle Dad and barf out phoned-in CAPS LOCK ring-a-ding-zingers at Jorts Knox, but that doesn’t cancel out how ridiculously handsome this guy is. He looks like a gen-u-wine movie star, right down to the People cover smile and the, er, starring in movies thing. Just knock it off with the casual homophobia and we’re cool Rock.” – Tobogganing Bear
9. Maria – 195 points
(11 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Chris Sims)
“I went and did the Afterbuzz post-Raw show one time partly because I thought Maria was gonna be there and we could discover how much we have in common and how in a Marisa Tomei-in-Seinfled-ish turn, she LOVES funny dudes with glasses. Long story short, she was off that week and I ended up just drinking Coors Light in a strange house in the Valley (SHOW BUSINESS, kids).” – Clark Duke
“I once entered a WWE.com contest to win Maria’s lingerie. I don’t even know what I was planning on doing with it — she has a slightly more petite figure than I do and I’m not quite creepy enough to sit around smelling it while vacantly staring at a burning candle — but to this day, it is the only WWE contest I have ever entered. Celebrity Crushes make a man do weird things, my friend.” – Chris Sims
“Fake redheads man. Also, she had by far the most wankable WWE Playboy spread (by which I mean, it was the only one that was wankable in the least).” – Nate Birch
“I think Maria is absolutely beautiful and I hated the early Bimbo routine she had. I loved her when she was on that episode of ‘Project Runway’ where the designers had to make outfits for the Divas (‘I feel like the Pope at a sex club!’ is the best line in the history of reality tv.) She was funny and kind of spazzy and totally the type of girl who I think would be awesome to hang out with. Also, I’m biased when it comes to brunettes.” – BookSavvy
8. Sunny – 197 points
(10 of 27 lists. 1 #1 vote – Danny Boy Downes)
Includes votes for: Tammy Lynn Sytch
“She revolutionized women in wrestling. Changed the game and became what everyone views as beautiful to this day.” – Rachel Summerlyn
“Listen, we’ve all gotten in a heated argument and tried to hire New Jack to murder someone, am I right? Let’s just let bygones be bygones and remember her sitting on the Legion of Doom’s shoulders or whatever.” – Clark Duke
“She was WWE’s first real sex symbol (well, I’d argue Sherri was, but her character was so shrill, and more importantly, she was always dressed down), and unlike other over-plasticized, dour-faced women with big fake boobs, she actually had the chops to pull it off. She had beauty with panache, something not many women in wrestling ever could say. She was able to be bad without letting the poor personality she had to play overtake her overall perception.” – Tom Holzerman
“She’s the woman that sort of jumpstarted the Diva division (for better or worse) and she was totally hot. The top two are pretty easy.” – David D.
7. AJ Lee – 199 points
(15 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 Chris Sims)
“Maybe the most ‘normal’ of today’s Divas. Seems like the type you were good friends with in college, but could never work up the courage to make a move on.” – Barry Petchesky
“I still love AJ and I like to believe she’d be my best friend. I’d totally say ‘Hey AJ, do you wanna go to the comic book convention dressed up as Phoenix & the Scarlet Witch?’ and she be all ‘Ummm, why are you even asking? Of course I do! Let’s go make costumes and be nerds!’ and we’d go get ice-cream and skip around together holding hands while we shop at Hot Topic. No, for real. That would be awesome. Even the Hot Topic part because where else do I get my mulit-colored jelly bracelets?” – BookSavvy
“She would definitely be higher if I didn’t get a “child” vibe from most of her pictures. She’s way cute, though!” – Lobster Mobster
“AJ (star of the hit USA Network series THE ALLEGATIONS) is the sort of beautiful where people start fantasizing about what their future life with her would be like. You’d forget the (thing you like) at the (place you like) and she’d give you (that expression you like) and you’d both laugh and prance around the kitchen to (the K-Ci & JoJo song you like). What a fantabulous life that would be!” – Tobogganing Bear
“I’m not really into miniature girls, but Jesus.” – David Shoemaker
6. Trish Stratus – 202 points
(11 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #3 Brock LaBorde)
“Just adorably Canadian.” – Clark Duke
“To say that I was at one point a Trish Stratus superfan would be an understatement. Hey guys, remember the time she used her women’s title to do bicep curls? Remember when she and the Rock teamed up against Vince and Steph, and she stomped on Vince’s balls, and it did not even come close to making up for him completely degrading her weeks prior? Remember when she chick kicked Christy Hemme so hard her shoe flew off? Remember how the crowd went completely nuts when she first won the women’s title at that one Survivor Series and how they never do that anymore for women’s matches much less anything else? Remember how when she first did the Matrix backbridge the entire crowd gasped even though it’s a relatively simple move anyone could do if they were flexible enough but it was so surprising because remember how terrible she used to be at everything except seducing Bubba Ray via table humping??? Talk about an evolution. The WWE keeps trying to make lightning strike twice with their continuous non-wrestling female hires, to which I say, ‘just give Natalya a f*cking chance already please.'” – Ari V.
“I was never onboard the Trish Stratus train. She’s beautiful, but I was always more of a Lita guy, and I think that fact puts her way down here instead of at the top where I imagine most people would place her. She’s really funny though! And funny is beautiful to me, so I couldn’t leve her out either.” – BJ Mendelson
“Blonde Trish Stratus is my favorite, but I’m open to seeing more of what Brunette Trish Stratus can offer.” – Brock LaBorde
5. Dolph Ziggler – 206 points
(13 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 BookSavvy)
“Dem abs, dat Ziggle-Wiggle, is there really anything else you can ask out of him?” – Lobster Mobster
“This one’s a little awkward because we happen to be friends. But what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t acknowledge the fact that he’s chiseled out of granite? Tan, tan granite.” – Clark Duke
“I think that I think he’s more handsome than he really is because he’s standing next to Vickie Guerrero all the time (she is fairly unattractive to me…I know, maybe that’s just me). Yet I also think that he’s more handsome than I want him to be.” Brock LaBorde
“Check out these other things he has going for him:
1) He has blue eyes.
2) He wears pink and wears it well.
3) He loves to entertain a crowd.
4) He is frequently arrogant.
He is one singing gimmick away from me calling him Zigglypuff. However, I think it is impossible for him to do anything that could put a crowd to sleep. ILU Dolph.” – Ari V.
“For a man whose shirt claims he’s going to steal my girlfriend, it’d be weird to not have him on a list like this, no?” – BJ Mendelson
“If you would have asked me a few years ago if there was any chance that Nicky from the Spirit Squad would be on my most beautiful people list I’d have thought you were out of your damn mind. But Ziggler makes me and most of the With Leather ladies get the vapors when he does the Ziggle Wiggle(TM). If my love of HBK has told you anything, it’s that I love an arrogant SOB and nobody sells it like Dolph. The Superkick at Survivor Series has shown that Dolph is obviously the next ShowStopper. And you know how I feel about the Showstopper.” – BookSavvy
“You can fry an egg on that midsection.” – Derrick Bateman
“Have you been in the live thread when Dolph Ziggler appears on Raw? It’s like a goddamn prison riot whenever Ziggler does the ass roll. There are casualties and everything! Lobster Mobster once threw a flaming sink at my head when Ziggles came on the screen. She threw it through the internet, that’s how goofballs bananas gorgeous Ziggler is. (Luckily the sink hit an old ‘…Ate My Balls’ webring, so I’m okay.)” – Tobogganing Bear
4. Miss Elizabeth – 211 points
(13 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 (2) Barry Petchesky, David D.)
“They totally got this right. Sorry.” – David D.
“We all know Miss Elizabeth was a babe, but there was something about her that was just so classy and delicate in a way that I almost feel guilty calling her one.” – Zia Hiltey
“INCREDIBLE taste in dudes.” – Clark Duke
“Someone who changed my world as far as wrestling goes. Someone so beautiful in a world so ugly. She stood out and still stands out to this day because of her elegance.” – Rachel Summerlyn
“She became the most popular woman in wrestling simply for her chemistry as the damsel in distress to real-life husband Macho Man Randy Savage. For a woman who looked like a model, she was oddly unsexualized in WWE (other than a weird attempt to put her in a bikini at SummerSlam 1988).” – Jason Mann
“Anyone’s who’s good enough for the Macho…wait a minute. Miss Elizabeth wasn’t good enough for the Macho Man! Or else why weren’t they still together forever? As a child of three separate parental divorces, I remain more traumatized by Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth’s love quarrels and separations. She was an elegant lady, and in the 80’s, I didn’t know they made prettier ones than her.” – Brock LaBorde
“I’d love to poll guys who grew up in the 80s to determine the percentage that had their first crush on Elizabeth. Count me in that group. Well, her and Samantha Fox.” – Burnsy
“I once called her’s wrestling’s Helen of Troy, and I stand by that, but I never really thought she was supremely beautiful, even way back when.” – David Shoemaker
“As a little girl, I wanted to be a mix of Miss Elizabeth, Fabulous Moolah and Sherri Martel. I was a weird kid. So she should make this list.” – BookSavvy
There’s really no other choice. She was the only woman who seemed like she was too pure to be involved in a business where class tends to be an oxymoron. Maybe it’s my ’80s childhood innocence talking, but she was probably the only truly good woman wrestling has ever known.” – Barry Petchesky
3. Stacy Keibler – 225 points
(13 of 26 lists. 1 #1 vote – Lobster Mobster)
“Thank you, Stacy Keibler, for helping me remember that it’s ‘I before E, except after C,’ and ‘E before I because Stacy Keibler.’” – Brock LaBorde
“Ric Flair’s son BLEW it.” – Clark Duke
“She’s dating Thomas Devoe from The Peacemaker now, if I’m not mistaken. That’s quite the get.” – Tobogganing Bear
“I didn’t discover Stacy Keibler by watching WCW but through pictures posted on message boards and in magazines. Stacy Keibler has a very “box art for a ‘90s girls’ board game” look to her, but when she was dressed as Miss Hancock, I honestly thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen up to that point in my life. The color of her eyes, the shape of her brows (which I still kind of envy), her fashion glasses, her perfectly proportioned body, and DEM LEGS GOT DAMN added up to a woman who I didn’t think could exist in our reality.” – Ari V.
“Her legs really go all the way up to where they meet with the rest of her body, if you know what I mean! She is crazy pretty and gives everyone another reason to want to be George Clooney.” – Lobster Mobster
“The ease with which she was able to transition from ‘wrestling-famous’ to ‘real-famous’ should have been the biggest hint of them all as to how beautiful a woman she was (still is). When she showed up on the scene as Miss Hancock, I really couldn’t believe that someone like her would ever get sucked into the pro wrestling industry. I hate to denigrate the business I love and write about, but she looked way too high-class to be tangled up in it. But hey, lucky for us she did get entangled, right?” – Tom Holzerman
“From her introduction in WCW, you knew she was going to have staying power. Good enough for Clooney, good enough for us.” – Barry Petchesky
2. Layla – 273 points
(15 of 27 lists. 4 #1 votes – Pete Holby, Tom Holzerman, K Sawyer Paul, Brandon)
“Curly haired, not hiding her British accent, Diva Search Layla was pretty much far and away the hottest entity in WWE history. She doesn’t score the top spot [for me] because straight-haired, infinity symbol wearing, rope hopping Layla just isn’t quite the same. The return of giant novelty check humping Layla El is easily the best argument I’ve heard for end of the PG-era.” – Nate Birch
“Layla is probably the second most famous former Miami Heat cheerleader in the history of the franchise. The first? Former First Lady Abigail Fillmore, of course.” – Tobogganing Bear
“Layla is criminally underrated in pretty much every conceivable way possible. It’s a sin against nature, and for the life of me, I can’t understand it.” – BJ Mendelson
“This is a ‘most beautiful’ list, not a ‘sexiest’ list, which I took to mean more the things that make women aesthetically appealing OTHER than legs, breasts, and butts. Those things make a beautiful woman, obviously, but beauty encompasses more things than ‘how hard of a boner does the person give me?’ El would make the least easily if it were just ‘sexy,’ but she’s tops here too not just because she may have the perfect body. The way she smiles, her eyes, the fact she can pull off the frizzy, curly ’80s hair better than most women can pull off regular hair, and several other things make her probably the most beautiful person to grace a WWE arena ever.” – Tom Holzerman
“After extensive research for this list (Jamming names into Google Image Search), I can say that Layla looks roughly a million times better when she’s wearing normal people clothes and not wrestling gear or swimsuits (Lay-Cool gear is an exception).” – Lobster Mobster
“During her inaugural Divasearch promo, Layla told the audience she’d like to be the next WWE DEE-VER. Humorless recap sites made fun of it, but she won me over immediately because I’m easily charmed for some raisin by accents that change entire parts of words. I don’t know how I never watched a single episode of Jersey Shore.
And I don’t know how to comment on Layla’s beauty without turning into a simpering fool. God, look at her. This woman is not fire, she’s a f*cking inferno.” – Ari V.
1. Lita – 281 points
(15 of 27 lists. Highest ranking – #2 Jason Mann)
“Girls that are better at stuff than dudes is always very attractive (see: my crush on like 75% of chicks that front bands).” – Clark Duke
“Oh, boy, Lita. Growing up poor Lita was the very best of what I could hope for from the women around me. I imagine she has a certain trailer park sex appeal that many women find in someone like Jeff Hardy. While many of the women on my list are beautiful, there’s a sexuality to Lita that is very immediate and realistic. I know I could never hook up with Stacy Keibler, but Lita seems like the kind of woman who would find something to like in a guy like me. She has a great combination of natural beauty, a great look, and an attitude that is just incredibly sexy.” – THESTINGER
“Pretty much the ideal woman for a wanna-be punk at the turn of the century: Her aesthetic, her loveliness and her high-flying were captivating. She moved from innocent from vixen better than any woman in wrestling history this side of Woman.” – Jason Mann
“She was always so tomboy cool and a total badass.” – Zia Hiltey
“Lita should have a nice, cozy spot in everyone’s Top 10 Lists. I’m not saying she should be #1 or #10, but something in between those two is all I’m sure of. She doesn’t even need a specific number, she can just be a nebulous inclusion in the Top 10, sort of like those theoretical numbers in math that my boring math teacher used to talk about.” – Brock LaBorde
“WWE.com could not have picked a worse picture of Lita to use for their list.
Anyway, I really loved Lita because I was a female wrestling fan in the 2000s, and any girl who didn’t love Lita was either jealous that she hung out with the Hardys or savvy enough to have access to joshi wrestling. She was cool and different and I loved her giant shoulder tattoo and her smile and her penchant for showing off her thong, which Manny Santos cribbed from her like 8 years later on Degrassi: The Next Generation. She was cut a raw deal toward the end of her career (I’ve read that people still harass her about the whole Matt Hardy/Edge thing, to which I say, ‘what the hell is wrong with wrestling fans oh my god’), but I love that she seems pretty happy to be retired. The last time I checked out her Twitter, she was talking about kettle bell exercises, eating kale, and vacationing in Nicaragua. The best revenge is living well. You do you, Amy Dumas.” – Ari V.
“Always Appropriate Thong Theater” – David D.
“Yeah, I’m a Lita fan. I dunno, from her early mesh belly-shirts and terrifying hurricanrana days, to her later ‘vixen with two outfits’ era, Lita’s made a career of not being particularly good, but being kind of loveably enthusiastic about it. Plus hey, I like fake redheads.” – Nate Birch
“DID YOU SEE LITA AT RAW 1,000? DID YOU!? DID YOU?!?” – BJ Mendelson
“Man, when I think about the frat boy crush I had on Lita back in her heyday… I barely remember it because of Jäger.” – Burnsy
BJ Mendelson – Beulah McGillicutty
Oh Beulah. She had that match with Bill Alfonso and it was great. The thing I liked about Beulah most though, and the reason she’s number one on the list, is that she was beautiful and approachable, and she stood out among all the dirt and grunge that personified ECW. But she was also tough! She belonged there, so you had this beautiful woman fighting in the dirt and emerging victorious (most of the time), plus she married Tommy Dreamer, and Tommy Dreamer is awesome. He never took off in WWE the way a lot of old time ECW guys hoped he would, myself included, but he got the girl, so in the end it’s a happy wrestling story, and you just don’t get too many of those. So that alone puts Beulah on top.
THESTINGER – Sting
As a heterosexual man, I had to think of what made for a handsome man. The only conclusive thing I could determine, outside of pure aesthetics, was to think of a man I wanted to be. As a young boy with a rat’s tail and an earring there was no one more handsome, strong, or otherwise great than Sting. I wanted to grow up to be just like him. I can’t speak to whether or not women wanted to be with him, but men certainly wanted to be him.
FembotDanielle – Mick Foley
Mick Foley is one of the kindest, most genuine, compassionate people you could ever hope to meet.
We all know the lengths he would go to for an incredible match. If you’ve seen him walk, or even looked at his right ear, you know the pain his body has endured for the sake of wrestling. But for every tooth he’s lost, every tack he’s had embedded in his skin, every surgery and painful recovery, Foley greets life with an insatiable focus not on himself, but on others. It’s easy to say he’s a great guy, but to go over the good deeds Foley has performed would consume the entirety of the allotted space for this article. The time and effort Foley has dedicated to help better the lives of others is astounding.
Now, I may be biased in my assessment and placement of him on my list because after all, he is my favourite wrestler, but to me he is so much more than that. Sure, I could marvel at his intelligent and affecting promos, or his infamous Hell in a Cell match, but what puts him head and shoulders above the rest is who he is as a person.
I had the pleasure of meeting him, only once, but it was an experience I hold very dear to my heart. There is a warmth about him that makes you feel instantly at ease. It takes a special person to make you forget that you’re in a lineup of hundreds of people being told by Terry Taylor that you’ve gotta move it along, and make you feel like you’re the only two people in room. If that short period of time at a TNA event could have such a special and profound influence on my own life, I can only imagine what it’s like for the people he’s helped in one way or another. Children waking up from operations to see their new friend Mick patiently waiting for them, and knowing that everything will be alright. Kids who had their Make-a-Wish granted, survived terrible ordeals, and know that if they ever want to invite him over to eat pizza and watch Raw, he’ll be there. Women who have gone through the most violating and horrible experiences a person can go through, having someone they can turn to when everything else seems hopeless. In my wildest dreams I could never hope to bring the happiness to another human being that Foley does so effortlessly for so many people. The world is a truly a better place because of Mick Foley, and really, is there anything more beautiful than that?
Chris Trew – The Mountie
A man in uniform? A foreign man in uniform? A foreign man in a uniform that carries around a vibrator? Where do I sign up.
Clark Duke on Magnum T.A.:
This is what a man used to look like. I’m trying to get the Gosling-starring biopic together as we speak. I just looked up what “T.A.” stood for and it was just his initials… kind of a let-down. I expected it to be something like “Titty Annihilator.” (To be frank, I was SHOCKED it wasn’t “Titty Annihilator.”)
Ari V. on Dawn Marie:
Holy crap, I can’t believe I almost forgot about Dawn Marie.
The WWE may have found their it girls in the Lita/Trish/Stacy/Torrie (Torrie, seriously?) quartet, but Dawn Marie was the best at carrying herself as though she were literally sex on legs. Also, she was one of the few women who moved like she really knew her body and its best angles. I’m almost positive that most of the time, the only direction she was given was “be sexy”, and she would nod and say “I got this”, then proceed to walk down the ramp like the show was all about her. Damn, Dawn Marie, I miss you.
THESTINGER on Sheamus:
Okay, I’m probably the only person who put Sheamus on this list. It’s for a very good reason, however. As a fat and goofy looking ginger guy the best I can ever hope to look is to look like Sheamus. That’s it, that’s my ceiling for personal attractiveness. If I didn’t put Sheamus on this list than that would mean I’d think I was doomed to a life of, well, crap. Okay. But, seriously, what young woman thinks of her future wedding day and imagines a pale, freckled, redheaded goober of a guy next to her? None. No one does. So, Sheamus, I like you a lot as a wrestler and you make me feel better about myself. Oh, plus, you’re ridiculously charismatic. You have a good smile and are easy to like, so why don’t you ask creative to stop making your character such a jackass? Thanks!
Lobster Mobster on George Hackenschmidt:
Swole as all get out, a haircut you can set your pocket watch to, and fantastic, clean-cut appearance? Yes, please! (This might sound like a John Cena description, but his jaw is too square for my tastes. Only Bruce Campbell is allowed a mandible of that magnitude).
Brock LaBorde on Nitro Girl Chae:
Hot. Asian. Dancer. I know not one other thing about this woman – what her real name was, where she is now, or what kind of personality she has. Yet 10+ years after WCW went off the air and she started collecting unemployment checks, her status as #1 still stands strong in my mind.
FembotDanielle on Bull Nakano and Luna Vachon:
As a person who’s always been a little bit different, dealing with conservative friends, family, and employers has often times been a bit rough. If I had a nickel for every time I heard “Oh, you’d be so pretty if you didn’t have that awful pink hair/piercing/so much eyeliner” from a grandparent, I’d…well…I’d probably be able to buy myself a whole lot more self-confidence for my teenage self. Being different is hard. Bull Nakano and Luna Vachon were different.
While AJW’s largest demographic in the early-mid nineties was the young, female set, it probably goes without saying that WWF’s primary audience was, frankly, not us young ladies. Sure, Elizabeth was great of you wanted to learn how to never speak in public or look really great in white gloves, but she wasn’t exactly a paragon of great life choices. Bull Nakano had hair as tall as I was and blue lipstick and holy crap you can be famous and look like that? Who knew? I know I didn’t.
Admittedly, Luna was in some truly terrible angles, but it’s hard to look at her standing in the ring with Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania IX, larger than life, and deny that she was absolutely stunning. These two ladies embody everything that a mixed-up little girl like me aspired to. Strong, confident – forces to be reckoned with.
These days it’s incredibly easy to endlessly complain about the lack of legitimate female role models in professional wrestling. There are beautiful, talented female wrestlers across the globe who don’t fit a conventional beauty standard that we gravitate to for the exact same reasons Bull Nakano and Luna Vachon inspire. That’s why Kharma was so damn exciting, even if she was only on television for a month. Different is strong. Different is bold. And most importantly, different is beautiful.
Chris Sims on Kelly Kelly:
Kelly Kelly is only on this list so that I can say this: She looks like Jughead. Everyone looks at me like I’m crazy when I say that, but I don’t even mean it in a bad way. The thin body, the sleepy eyes, every time I see her I just mentally put a little crown on her head and pretend that Vince is paying her in burgers.
1. Lita – 15 votes – #2 Jason Mann – 281
2. Layla – 15 votes – 4 #1 votes Pete Holby, Tom Holzerman, K Sawyer Paul, Brandon – 273
3. Stacy Kiebler – 13 votes #1 vote Lobster Mobster – 225
4. Miss Elizabeth – 13 votes – #2 votes Barry Petchesky, David D. – 211
5. Dolph Ziggler – 13 votes – #2 BookSavvy – 206
6. Trish Stratus – 13 votes – #3 Brock LaBorde – 202
7. AJ Lee – 15 votes – #3 Chris Sims – 199
8. Sunny – 10 votes – #1 vote Danny Boy Downes – 197
9. Maria – 11 votes – #1 Chris Sims – 195
10. The Rock – 10 votes – #1 Tobogganing Bear – 183
11. Cody Rhodes – 11 votes – #1 vote Rachel Summerlyn – 164
12. Rick Rude – 11 votes – #2 Derrick Bateman – 164
13. Torrie Wilson – 11 votes – #3 Burnsy – 162
14. Molly Holly – 11 votes – 2 #1 votes Bill Hanstock, Veda Scott – 143
15. Maryse – 10 votes – #3 Lobster Mobster – 141
16. Kaitlyn – 10 votes – #1 vote Ari V. – 133
17. Mickie James – 10 votes – #1 vote Nate Birch – 132
18. Gail Kim – 10 votes – #3 K Sawyer Paul – 131
19. Roddy Piper – 7 votes -#1 vote Clark Duke – 124
20. David Otunga – 9 votes – #2 Bill Hanstock, Chris Trew – 122
21. Daniel Bryan – 9 votes – #2 Pete Holby – 113
22. Chris Jericho – 10 votes – #3 Barry Petchesky – 111
23. Shawn Michaels – 7 votes – #1 vote BookSavvy – 107
24. Eve Torres – 7 votes – #5 Ari V. – 107
25. Edge – 8 votes – #2 K Sawyer Paul – 106
26. Alberto Del Rio – 8 votes – #3 Ari V. – 97
27. Alicia Fox – 6 votes, #2 Tobogganing Bear – 92
28. Stephanie McMahon – 6 votes – #3 Chris Trew – 87
29. CM Punk – 6 votes – #1 vote Zia – 82
30. Beth Phoenix – 4 votes – #1 vote Jason Mann – 74
31. Christy Hemme – 9 votes – #7 Clark Duke – 73
32. Paul London – 4 votes – #2 Lobster Mobster – 73
33. Justin Gabriel – 6 votes – #5 Derrick Bateman – 71
34. Daffney – 6 votes – #6 Brandon – 71
35. Sherri Martel – 6 votes, #2 FembotDanielle – 70
36. Mark Henry – 4 votes, #3 Jason Mann/Brandon – 70
37. Wade Barrett – 6 votes – #9 Lobster Mobster – 67
38. John Morrison – 6 votes – #4 Rachel Summerlyn – 66
39. . Sable – 7 votes – #10 Barry Petchesky – 65
40. Mr. Perfect – 7 votes – #1 vote Burnsy – 63.
41. Ricky Steamboat – 4 votes – #5 Zia, Chris Sims – 63
42. John Cena – 5 votes – #6 Barry Petchesky – 62
43. Christian – 4 votes – #7 FembotDanielle, Danny Boy Downes – 60
44. Antonio Cesaro – 6 votes – #2 Zia – 59
45. Rosa Mendes – 4 votes – #2 Chris Sims – 59
46. Serena – 3 votes – #6 Nate Birch – 58
47. Ric Flair – 3 votes – #2 Clarke Duke – 56
48. Kevin Nash – 4 votes – #6 K Sawyer Paul – 56
49. Derrick Bateman – 3 votes – #1 vote Derrick Bateman – 52
50. Bella Twins – 5 votes – #1 vote David Shoemaker– 51
51. Brian Kendrick – 2 votes – #4 Ari V. – 51
52. Scott Hall – 3 votes – #5 Danny Boy Downes – 51
53. Kimberly Page – 4 votes – #2 Barry Petchesky – 50
54. Randy Orton – 4 votes – #3 Derrick Bateman – 47
55. Bret Hart – 3 votes – #5 Rachel Summerlyn – 44
56. The Miz – 4 votes – #9 FembotDanielle – 43
57. Evan Bourne – 2 votes – #3 Pete Holby – 42
58. Beulah McGillicutty – 3 votes, #1 vote BJ Mendelson – 41
59. Magnum T.A. – 4 votes – #7 Derrick Bateman – 40
60. Ariel – 3 votes – #8 Brandon – 40
61. Kelly Kelly – 4 votes – #4 Brock Laborde – 39
62. Miss Jackie – 3 votes – #2 Danny Boy Downes – 39
63. Million Dollar Man – 3 votes -#12 Chris Trew – 39
64. Dawn Marie – 3 posts, #4 Danny Boy Downes – 37
65. Katie Lea Burchill – 3 votes – #6 David Shoemaker – 37
66. Johnny Curits/Fandango – 3 votes – #8 Derrick Bateman – 37
67. Sting – 3 votes, #1 vote – THESTINGER – 36
68. Stone Cold Steve Austin – 4 votes – #9 BJ Mendelson – 46
69. Rick Martel – 3 votes – #2 Burnsy – 35
70. Bull Nakano – 2 votes – #3 FembotDanielle – 35
71. Heath Slater – 2 votes – #6 Chris Trew – 35
72. Rey Mysterio – 2 votes – #10 BJ Mendelson – 35
73. Melina – 4 votes – #11 David D. – 33
74. Kristal – 2 votes – #5 Nate Birch – 33
75. The Kat – 3 votes #9 Brock LaBorde – 28
76. Naomi – 2 votes – #2 BJ Mendelson – 29
77. William Regal – 2 votes – #8 Jason Mann – 27
78. Marty Jannetty – 2 votes #10 Burnsy – 27
79. The Mountie – 2 votes – #1 vote Chris Trew – 26
80. Mick Foley – 1 vote – #1 vote FembotDanielle – 25
81. Dusty Rhodes – 3 votes – #6 Danny Boy Downes – 25
82. IRS – 2 votes – #7 Chris Trew – 25
83. Buddy Rogers – 2 votes – #8 Barry Petchesky – 25
84. Ivory – 2 votes – #8 Danny Boy Downes – 25
85. Stan Lane – 2 votes – #9 Tobogganing Bear – 24
86. Arn Anderson – 2 votes – #7 BJ Mendelson – 23
87. Buff Bagwell – 2 votes – #12 Barry Petchesky – 22
88. Test – 2 votes – #9 Chris Trew – 21
89. Drew McIntyre – 2 votes, #15 Derrick Bateman – 21
90. Shelton Benjamin – 2 votes, #14 Pete Holby – 20
91. Natalya – 2 votes, #11 BookSavvy – 19
92. Alex Wright – 3 votes – #15 Lobster Mobster – 18
93. Ted DiBiase Jr. – 3 votes – #17 Zia – 18
94. Gorgeous George (m) – 2 votes – #9 Bill Hanstock – 18
95. Damien Sandow – 2 votes – #14 Chris Sims – 18
96. Sharmell – 2 votes – #15 David D. – 17
97. Val Venis – 2 votes – #17 Burnsy – 17
98. Tajiri – 2 votes – #17 Pete Holby – 15
99. Mae Young – 2 votes, #16 Chris Trew – 12
100. Victoria – 2 votes #19 Burnsy – 11
101. Rob Van Dam – 2 votes – #20 Ari – 9
102. Brooke Adams – 2 votes – #21 –Nate Birch – 8
103. Ashley – 2 votes, #22 Burnsy – 6
104. Tony Atlas – 2 votes – #23 Jason Mann – 5
105. Renee Dupree – 2 votes – #24 Bill Hanstock , Ari – 4