The Best And Worst Of TNA Impact Wrestling 1/10/13: She's Like The Wind

By: 01.11.13  •  110 Comments

Best: Robbie E. is meta as f*ck

Never in a million years would I ever have speculated that either Robbie E or Robzilla would be one the best things going on wrestling television, but there they are, another week gone, being awesome as all get out. As dismayed as I was to see Tessmacher and her Dolph Ziggler face involved in something I enjoy, I really appreciated the canonical reference to her dislike of Robbie E. from her guest spot on The List. They’re even wearing the same sweaters. Amazing. Sting and the Aces & Eights stuff might be pretty garbage, but as long as the primary focus is on them, and little things like this can slip through, I am totally fine with it.

Best: I don’t care about what happened during the tag match…

…because Robbie Bunyan as Patrick Swayze makes up for any worsts I would have given to their half-hearted attempts at Gangnam Styling. In a perfect world, they’ll throw out all of the storylines for Genesis and do a roster-wide reenactment of Dirty Dancing, culminating in all of them dancing to Time of Your Life while Al Snow asks Devon if they have sheet music for the Robbie’s terrible EDM entrance theme. Then Bruce Pritchard can finally apologize to Attack of the 50 ft. Robbie for thinking that he was the one who got Velvet Sky knocked up, when we all know it was that skeezy Ayn Rand-loving skuzzball Bobby Roode.

Worst: Why did I rewatch the tag match?

Tessmacher, I straight up don’t care how many watermelons you carried. For the love of god, please stop rubbing your lower lady parts in other people’s faces. I know TNA is rumoured to pay their talent terrible wages, but do you really need to get noticed for that lucrative Monistat campaign? This is the wrestling version of Sean Young’s catwoman outfit and it is weird and gross.

Worst: That guy vs. that guy who looks like that other guy but with sideburns

I’m not going to get too down on these guys, and the worst is really more for booking them against each other than the serviceable match itself. I feel like TNA’s scouting process is just going through Vince McMahon’s Boner Jams ’08 and picking the most swole white guys they can find. But hey, if their chances in TNA don’t work out, they’ve always got their careers at Extensive Enterprises to fall back on.

Worst: Mr. Anderson, Masturbating Gollum

You’re making it really hard to be on your side, you creeper.

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