The Best And Worst Of TNA Impact Wrestling 1/10/13: She's Like The Wind

By: 01.11.13

Best: Mr. Anderson’s entrance … mostly

Live, Anderson has one of the legit coolest entrances I’ve ever seen. Once he gets to the ring and starts talking we’re reminded that hey, you’re not actually all that cool and you should probably have cut it off a full minute ago, but it was kinda nice to see it again. It also led me to simultaneously playing Sting and Anderson’s themes on YouYube at the same time, and Dale Oliver, you were not stretching yourself creatively with these at all, were you. Tsk.

Worst: Kurt Angle

I know I haven’t been writing these for long, so I should at this point explain that I am actually a fan of Kurt Angle. He was a great wrestler, looked smashing in a tiny hat, and had Sensational Sherri sing an Angle-themed parody of Shawn Michael’s entrance that I’ve filed forever under “Things that make me happy.” The nicest photo my boyfriend and I have together after being together for three years features a sweaty, post-match Angle posing in a TNA ring between the two of us. I’m not sure if that’s sad or awesome, but either way, I don’t hate Kurt Angle. That said, will you shut the hell up and stop calling dudes “bitch”? Or anyone, for that matter? Remember when you were awesome and funny and a sexy Kurt who’d make people’s ankle hurt? More of that, less of everything you’re doing, please.

Best: Garrett Bischoff running

Because lol, Garrett Bischoff.

Worst: You are real terrible at your fake job, EMTs

Hey, let’s not secure the neck that we’re speculating is injured or anything. If it’s a serious injury, I’m pretty sure the beefy hand of Samoa Joe isn’t going to prevent paralysis while you’re rolling him around willy nilly.

Worst: Aces & Eights, let’s get this show on the road

Do you realize that we have been slogging through this junk since June? Eight months of fluctuating membership numbers, confusing and meandering storylines, and weird Floridian ladies of the night? Only three members have been unmasked, we have no clear and present motivations for anything, let alone the significance of said masks, and we’re already getting a rehash of a storyline 2011.

Ideally, Brooke hired Aces & Eights to pretend to kidnap her so that Bully could save the day, thus ingratiating himself into Hogan’s good graces once more. It’s twisted and dangerous, and the kind of foolish thing someone would do when the person they love the most romantically isn’t approved of by the person they love the most in their family. It doesn’t solve any of the long-term issues, but I’m oddly intrigued by the tragedy that is the Hogan father-daughter relationship, and it would, for a short time, give some meaning to the actions of Aces & Eights.

I’m sure we’re going to see this drag on until at least March, because I can easily see them having a face team vs. Aces & Eights at Lockdown, but I’m getting real tired of waiting for some kind of progression other than “We have to wait for Sting to come back, so here are more ladies fresh from the stripper farm while we basically do nothing.”

On the plus side, however, we now have Easily Bent Rubber Hammer, my favourite unmasked member of Aces & Eights.

Worst: Oh no, what if …

I swear to god, if this is a long-form lead in to Jeff Jarrett returning I am rage-quitting TNA.

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