Worst: GEEZ, IT’S SO DUSTY IN HERE
ALL THIS DUST IN MY EYES, THIS IS NUTS. IT’S SO HARD TO WRITE IN SUCH A DUSTY ENVIRONMENT. I CAN BARELY EVEN SEE BULLY RAY AND SPIKE HUGGING AND OVERWHELMING ME WITH HAPPY WRESTLING FEELS. UGH. WORST.
Best: Hogan does the right thing
Worst: No Father of the Bride pyro?
Best: The lady checking her watch partially redeems the Impact audience
Because as excited as I was for this, wedding ceremonies always bore me to tears, and I end up doing the exact same thing. They’re always too long, too tedious, and chances are I spent too much time getting ready and not enough time having breakfast, so I just want to get out of there so I can eat and drink as much free wine as possible at the reception.
Best: Did I mention Spike Dudley?
Best: The Wedding
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this was not exactly anyone’s favourite part. But you know what? I was into it. Brooke Hogan is still god awful, but look at Bully try to get all emotional. It’s great! At this point it’s not a wrestling wedding, it’s a soap wedding, and soap weddings are the absolute best. It’s so dumb, but it all works beautifully. I can’t believe I’m actually into this, but here we are. I mean, it makes no sense that everyone is dressed up backstage, but no one is actually in attendance other than the audience, and Brooke, never talk ever, but I’ll give it a pass.
This is how it ends, right? This is it? They get married, they have the world’s grossest wedding kiss, and then ride off into the Orlando sunset in James Storm’s freshly painted whip? Yes?
Oh. Of course not. As a rule, I generally don’t want to hear Brooke speak either, but when you tell a bride whose wedding you just interrupted that it isn’t any of her business, you’re just being stupid. God. Tazz. Ugh. I know I gave you a best before, but you are the literal worst.
But okay, whatever: Tazz
I’m not super surprised, or really affected in any way by the revelation that Tazz is a member of Aces & Eights. I mean, it makes sense. Al Snow mysteriously couldn’t make it, and D-Lo had to show up to be the deciding factor in his stead during Gut Check decision time for Wes Brisco, hinting at an Aces & Eights involvement. I like the idea that Tazz has been aiding Aces & Eights by stacking the roster with new Gut Check recruits who also happen to be members of Aces & Eights. He can barely walk down a ramp, let alone wrestle, so it’s a nice conspiratorial link in the chain leading to whomever is in charge (PLEASE NOT JEFF JARRETT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE).
Worst, but I giggled: Aces & Eights
Of course Aces & Eights came out and attacked everyone. I really hope no one was surprised by this. It was pretty bad, but it still made me laugh for a few reasons:
1) Thank goodness the Hulkster has connections at Rent-A-Center, because there’s no way they’re getting their deposit back.
2) Bully, I guess you should have invited Devon, huh.
3) Hogan, in an act of selfless redemption, admonishes Brooke not to worry about him, but to check on Bully Ray. She responds, ever the embodiment of theatrical and dramatic prowess, with the most TNA line ever: “My boobs are out.”