And now, an excerpt from the Very Secretest Four Star Diary of Samoa Joe
I AM SO MAD. I tried calling Phil to talk about it, but he’s busy and also I’m not allowed to because we’re on different shows. ARGH. I’M JUST SO MAD. You would not BELIEVE the gall of these two little pricks. Calling me, texting me, just shut up about Kurt and leave me alone. Things were so much easier before they got here. Kurt used to come over every weekend to drink Five-Hour Energy and practice jiujitsu holds, and now I’m lucky if I can even get him to answer his phone. He’s always off with those two jerks, giggling and showing off his Olympic gold medal. And even worse, when he’s not with them, he’s sitting alone in the locker room writing in some stupid notebook and then making all of us promise not to follow him into the shower because he needs some “me time.” Well maybe I need some Kurt time! Those guys suck. I bet they don’t even know who Kenta Kobashi is.
Sigh. Why am I so mad? Why won’t he return my calls? Why won’t senpai notice me?
ARGH! I HATE THEM.
Submitted, as always, by your friend – Joe
Best: Guess who’s not racist and can still be awesome and effective heels?
Their pre-match segment is one of the prime examples of why everyone should be watching Impact, and not just because it makes my job easier by not needing to skip some of the best parts because TNA doesn’t put up any videos to link to. Austin Aries was already great, but Bobby Roode as his spastic new BFF is a revelation.
I know most subscribe to the idea that offensive language and attitudes, be it about race or gender or sexual orientation, are fine as long as it’s a heel saying it, and they get their comeuppance from a face. Clear-cut, black and white, good vs. evil. I can understand that point, however I still disagree with it. Just because we have the expectation and understanding that a heel is going to do and say crappy things and a face is going to make them eat their words by making them eat their fist, doesn’t mean that everyone else does. Are the still-forming brain-stuffs of kids going to know that it’s a bad thing to put down someone from Mexico because the funny guy with the cool clothes said it? Do I have to go to yet another TNA event in the States wherein the guys beside me are screaming for Hernandez to get out of their country but also get back to mowing their lawn like a good [racial slur]?
The trickle down effects of any such display of prejudice and shaming extend beyond what we could possibly consider. Whether it’s done by a good guy or a bad guy, it’s still being done, and at the end of the day it is not okay. The assumption that fans aren’t intelligent enough to understand the difference between an antagonist and protagonist without resorting to the most base, disgusting, and unacceptable insults is just that – insulting. I’m sorry, but I can’t subscribe to the notion that hate speech is in any way alright if uttered by a heel, because hate speech is never, ever alright. If you can’t make yourself a believable bad guy without it, then you are bad at your job and don’t deserve to be on a major televised program.
This set-up segment was incredibly entertaining. Rather than sit around watching old Tito Santana matches so they could crib some Mexican food-based insults from Jesse Ventura, Aries and Roode try to out-compliment the other so as not to have to face Hernandez in the ring by proving the other is the more capable wrestler. Their ulterior motives are clear, and they still get to stay heels using backhanded compliments and veiled insults. It’s fun, it’s clever, it furthers their development as two guys who hate each other but are kind of friends and tag partners because they want the same thing, and it doesn’t make me embarrassed to endorse this show. Now was that so hard?
Best, worst, I’m really not sure: Did…did you just win with a bulldog?
Yup, you did.
Best: You probably disagreed with everything I just said, so hey, here’s some Joseph Park
I secretly love The List. Well…I guess not so secretly now. This episode is, shockingly, my favourite thus far. Not only does it have Joseph Park, but also plays into the back and forth conversations Joe Park and Little Robbie have been having on twitter for months in a further stoke of continuity genius. Now, I follow quite a few people on the twitters, but I don’t pay anywhere near as much attention to anyone else as I do to Joseph Park. Okay, maybe Jervis Cottonbelly because he really is the #WorldsSweetestMan, but still. Take in this adorableness with your seeing eyes: