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The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 1/7/13: Passion Versus Apathy

By / 01.08.13

Best: A True PPV Match On Raw

The Punk/Ryback TLC match wasn’t the bait-and-switch or the “storyline” match I thought it’d be — I thought they’d have The Shield jump Ryback right at the beginning and turn it into a big dumb there where Punk could be an “opportunist” and steal the victory without working — but it wasn’t. It was the very definition of a great Raw match … must-see in its action, characters and storyline progression.

CM Punk ladderIt was fun. It featured a lot of unexpected violence, like Ryback Rybacking his ass through a table propped up against the guardrail, that dangerous-looking powerbomb through a table onto steel steps thing and the EXTREMELY DANGEROUS-LOOKING press slam onto the middle of a set-up ladder. I don’t know why that one got to me so much, but it did. I can’t open or close a three-ring binder without catching my finger in it, all I could imagine was metal bending in the wrong place and slicing up Punk’s abdomen like it was Joey Mercury’s face.

If they want to win back viewers and don’t give a shit about sacrificing their pay-per-view dollars for ratings pops, this is what they should be doing. Put less emphasis on rehashed main-eventer “blockbuster” tag matches we see without hyperbole at least twice a month, and worry more about giving us things we don’t see all the time, like a TLC Championship match, or hell, just guys going all out. It’s the difference between Brodus Clay debuting as a dancing dinosaur and STAYING a dancing dinosaur.

The only problems I had with the match were that it happened way too early in the show to make room for The Rock making Bozo The Clown Grand Prize Game prize jokes, and:

Worst: It’s Time To Move Forward With the Shield/Brad Maddox Stuff

I get that the storyline got stuck in a holding pattern when Punk got injured before TLC, but it’s time to decide what we’re doing with Brad Mad-Ox and The Shield and run with it. Shit, or get off the pot. Maddox has been hanging out backstage asking people for jobs for what, almost three months? The Shield is still showing up to shows to beat people up for reasons, but I guess they don’t care about wrestling, which is how I assume wrestlers get paid?

If you’re going to make a stable, make it now. Use it as fodder for The Rock. I’d rather see him give Maddox a Rock Bottom out of nowhere and make HIM look like an also-ran instead of Punk. If you’re going to make them independent characters, do that. Give Maddox a kayfabe NXT contract or whatever and send him down to fight Sterling James Keenan, put him in a flak jacket and have him be the Dangerous Danny Davis of The Shield, whatever. Add The Shield to your roster as wrestlers and let them perform, because they had some momentum going after that great match at TLC, and people would probably like to see it. Just do SOMETHING that isn’t CM PUNK WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BRAD MADDOX AND THE SHIELD every f**king week, because it’s not accomplishing anything and nobody gives a shit about the mystery. They either are something or they aren’t. Jerry Lawler going WULL I GUESS THIS MEANS doesn’t mean anything.

Mostly, I just want to see what the hell BEEF MODE is about.

Best: Best Kofi Kingston Match Ever

AAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

AAAAAA HA HA HA HA

Oh MERCY. Quick, here’s a GIF of the entire match:

Kofi Kingston got knocked the F out

It’s like the karmic balance for the Daniel Bryan/Sheamus World Heavyweight Championship match at WrestleMania. I feel as happy watching this as I felt sad watching that. I love it. Here’s to hoping we get to see an Air Boom reunion on an EVOLVE card somewhere during WrestleCon.

Best: But No, Seriously

Kofi Kingston meme


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TOPICS#BEST AND WORST OF RAW#PRO WRESTLING#WWE#WWE RAW
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