The Best And Worst Of TNA Impact Wrestling 2/7/13: Live From Manche-zzzzzzzzzzz

By: 02.08.13  •  153 Comments

Worst: Oh god, this episode

Here’s a list of things I did either during Impact or afterwards to procrastinate, because trying to write about this episode was the pits. Please feel free to enjoy it as you would a John Hughes montage set to, I dunno, Blue Peter or something.

– Made myself a mini pizza. It was delicious.

– Went through a bunch of Ask Chris questions on Twitter because I am a good and helpful friend

– Creeped on all of the photos someone has posted to Facebook (for science, obvs)

– Practiced drawing angry manga eyes

– Tried to think of wrestling-related Valentine puns (feel free to contribute in the comments!)

– Had a pretend lightsabre duel with the Christmas tree we still have yet to take down

Edited an interview with my someday wrestling boyfriend Jojo Bravo

– Got stuck in a k-hole of Canadian music videos, and ended up watching twenty minutes worth of Glass Tiger videos on YouTube

– Set all of my fantasy hockey teams for tomorrow, and giggled a lot at Adam Henrique’s TINY TINY HEAD

– Laid down on the floor in front of the television seriously contemplating skipping this week because oh god, this episode

This is literally the Marc Blucas of episodes. I understand that Buffy eventually has to have a human boyfriend, and I know it needs to lead into the weird Jocasta Complex-laced Initiative storyline, but watching it play through is torture. If this were a meal, it would be a bowl of lard with some celery on the side. If it were an ice cream, it would be pralines and dick. If it were a weekly televised wrestling show, it would be TNA Impa…um, nevermind.

Worst: Why are you even here, Aces & Eights?

I touched on this two weeks ago, but seriously…why are they there? Isn’t the stipulation they agreed upon (because litigation=wrestling) was for Aces & Eights to be allowed in the Impact Zone? This isn’t the Impact Zone. Can’t they just call Scotland Yard or Sherlock Holmes or Inspector Fowler or whomever and have them arrested? I mean, if a bunch of fake biker dudes who hated me showed up and tried to injure me with a TOTALLY NOT FAKE™ hammer, I would probably try to have them escorted from the building. Why isn’t anyone doing that? And most importantly, did they leave out enough food and water for their lady companions back in Orlando?

Worst: But no, seriously…

This is your one chance to remove Tazz from commentary, and you don’t take it? If I didn’t already know better, the best we could have hope for was someone stealing Tazz’s passport and ID, calling some of Jeff Hardy’s “old friends,” and Brokedown Palace-ing his ass.

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