Best: John Cena And CM Punk Tear The House Down
This match was amazing. AMAZING. Capital letters. The best Raw match in ages and the best Cena/Punk match since Money In The Bank. It’s a match we’ve seen too many times before, but there’s still so much to talk about. The return of the Cenacanrana, which was enough to shock Punk into submission long enough for a clean Attitude Adjustment. The finisher kick-outs that mattered, because of the match’s high stakes. The return of our old friend, THIS:
Didn’t it seem like DEATH when Punk hit it? The piledriver’s been away so long it feels like it should ultimately nullify anybody who gets hit by it. The entire match was just wonderful, got everyone (including the people who work there) saying nice things about Raw, and, despite how sad and doomed Cena’s win made me feel, made both wrestlers look great heading into Mania.
It was also, sadly, hindered by two things that bug me:
1. The commercial breaks. For this match we got TWO of them. I don’t care how long your match is, you don’t run a legitimate sporting contest, you can rearrange the show to show your commercials some other time. I’ll even accept one commercial, but two? Come on.
2. WWE Fan Nation. Why upload the final 2 minutes of a match if the entire wrestling world is buzzing about this great Raw match? It’s not like we can catch a replay, or like we’re waiting for the DVD. It’s Raw. If you want people to watch, show them this great thing you did. What you’re capable of. I understand not wanting to put the entire show on the YouTube channel, but damn, how great would it be to be able to send this to people sand say “hey, this is why I like this thing you hate. It’s really good.”
But those are smallest complaints. Congratulations to Punk and Cena for burning it down, and here’s to hoping that next week Rocky will do the same thing, if lying on the ground for 20 minutes trying to catch your breath can “burn it down.”
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night
Frightened Inmate Number Two
Usually you don’t see head wounds like that in Dallas unless you’re in Dealey Plaza.
Ziggler could sell drugs to CM Punk.
In the WWE universe I feel like the Rock is God. He wants us to worship him. Ignores us for long stretches. Makes an appearance every once in a while. Most of the time just disappoints us.
The opening scene of The Marine 3 is Miz being taught how to use a machine gun by an aging colonel played by Ric Flair. Three scenes later he accidentally shoots himself.
Zeb could really just be called “Grandpa’s email forwards”.
I am looking forward to the post-debate analysis from Rachel Maddow and The Boogeyman.
Sheamus can’t be in a movie. Too many lines.
DAMIEN SANDOW USES THE URBANE DICTIONARY
The Shield thought they beat the entire superhero squad, but they forgot that Spiderman is also a part of the Avengers.
There’s a Twilight Zone Gremlin on that Wrestlemania sign. Everyone keeps pointing at it trying to warn us – but we just won’t listen.
See you next week, when this column goes OLD SCHOOL*.