We’re all on the same page, right? The International Olympic Committee suggesting that wrestling should be removed from the 2020 games due to a lack of ticket sales or whatever is stupid, because it’s wrestling, and more or less the definitive human sport.
All we need now is for the IOC to hear passionate comments from athletes who value amateur wrestling, and are beloved and respected enough in the world of sports to be undeniable. People like … uh, Chael Sonnen, that punchman who preps for fights by calling his opponents super coward dummies.
A transcript of his thoughts:
“How do you get rid of wrestling? It is the oldest sport in existence. In no walk of society can you tell me seniority does not matter. Nothing can date itself back as far as wrestling. They didn’t have bikes, they didn’t have balls and they didn’t have bats — they were pushing and pulling on one another.”
“We have an idiocracy known as FILA that has ruined the sport. We have two knuckleheads that you couldn’t trust to run your local donut shop regulating our sport of wrestling. Wrestling has cannibalized itself from 10 spots on the world and Olympic team to nine, to eight, to seven. This is where they’re at it. It’s basic science, the number one rule in biology, you either evolve or you become extinct.”
That’s … actually pretty astute. If you need stupider comments, TMZ spoke with former WWF Heavyweight Champion The Iron Sheik, a 1968 Olympian for Iran who is most famous in his post-wrestling career for being a sort-of profane Wesley Willis who reacts to every situation with threats of violence and anal sex.
“After 1000 years they take away the best sport in the world? This is the first time the dumb motherf**kers have no balls for they make the walking an Olympic sport.”
He adds, “If I see anybody on the street that work from the IOC I swear to the Jesus I suplex them put them in camel clutch break their back make them humble.”
“The #TEAMSHEIKIE respect the Olympic now they can all go f**k themselves and make the Curling Olympic sport because they all the biggest piece of no good s**t and I never watch the Olympic again. Also buy my t shirt [on my website] or go f**k yourself.”
I’m not a big LOL IRON SHEIK type. They never include the bit about how his daughter was murdered a few years ago, and a combination of that, a history of drug abuse and a viral shoot interview that tricked him into thinking people loved him when they were just laughing at him turned him into a joke. But man, even I’ve got to crack a smile at “I swear to the Jesus I suplex them.”
Does anybody have Jose Canseco’s phone number? I want to know what he thinks about Olympic wrestling.
Actually, nevermind, I know what he thinks about Olympic wrestling. He thinks, “Jose Canseco.”