We Love Sports! Let’s Make Ourselves Look As Hideous As Possible!

It’s Friday, which means we’re all tired and ready to go home. It also means that we’re more open to ridiculing people similar to ourselves (sports fans) who have made horrible life decisions, because what’s wrong with you, we’re just trying to lay low and go home.

I’ve been trying to figure out which of these is worse — the guy who got the Miami Heat logo and the word “LeBron” shaved into his head, or the guy who got a Pittsburgh Steelers Terrible Towel” tattoo on his shoulder. You know, so it looks like he’s got a towel on his shoulder. FOREVER.

Let’s compare and contrast them:

Firstly, here’s the LeBron haircut guy.

Cons: You are the guy who got LEBRON shaved into your head. I know a lot of fans I talk to think wearing a jersey is a bad idea, because you’re basically wearing the name of another, better grown-up on your back. Taking that a step further, I guess getting a hairdresser to shave another guy’s name into your head — a stranger’s name, in fact, not somebody you know or love — is jersey times a million.

Pros: Hair grows back! This guy will be immortalized forever as the “guy with the LeBron haircut” on the Internet, but when he goes to the grocery store or whatever six months from now he’s just a guy.

Cons: ooooh my god what did you do to yourself

Pros: If you have wet hands, you can wipe them on your shoulder as a funny joke? I can’t think of many pros here. People know you really love the Steelers? I think saying “I really love the Steelers” would’ve worked, but what do I know.

Have you guys ever done anything Sports Stupid like this? I’m sure there’s something in our reading audience with a Don Sutton portrait tattoo or something.

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