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The Best And Worst Of Impact Wrestling 3/21/13: Be Kind While We Rewind

By 03.22.13

Worst: My Hernandez Memento

So, you know how occasionally I will confess things in this column? Like how long it took me to realize that Austin Aries’ shirt was two As, and not just weird ugly triangles, or how I operated under the assumption that all of the cheese and meat on Supermarket Sweep was real until a few months ago? I’m not a dumb lady by any means, but my memory for Hernandez’s tattoos is apparently the worst. I don’t ever forget his terrible “Hernandez” back tattoo, because Jesus Christ that thing is awful, but watching the Chavandez-Mecha Shiva match last night, I was completely baffled by his chest tattoo. I don’t know what it is, but it’s like I’m seeing it for the first time. And I feel like this has happened before. So I’m going to document this here for the next time, because I’ll be damned if I’m tattooing Hernandez’s wretched Superman tattoo on my arm to remember. Besides, I’m running out of room what with my previous tattoos, the proper spelling of Todd Keneley’s last name, and “Lenny = White, Carl = Black.”

Best: Oh haaaay, it’s Bad Influence!

Hey guys! Nice to see you! I’m glad you remembered that I wish all of my favourites could be friends.

Worst: Oh…

You’re not friends.


Worst: If I hadn’t seen such riches, I could live with Christian York

Criminy! That X-Division package. Oh, that gives me feelings. Remember when the X-Division was just about the best thing? I do. The only reason I ever got into TNA was because of the X-Division. Most of the TNA DVDs I own are specifically for X-Division matches, or are entirely X-Division-centric. So you’ll understand that when I get really down about the current state of things, it’s because I know and loved what it once was, and this is literally the worst it’s ever been. Just the worst.

Best, worst, maybe sort of?: The X-Division Evolution

The “Evolution” is explained thusly:

All X-Division championship matches will now be held under triple threat rules. The champion will have two challengers at the same time and has a thirty-three percent chance of retaining the title and runs the risk of losing the title without being pinned. The high-stakes title match has consequences for the challengers as well. The wrestler pinned in the X-Division championship match is eliminated from a future title match while the wrestler who isn’t involved in the decision gets to compete in the next X-Division title match. So where will the next contender come from?

New contenders will be also decided via a Triple Threat match. Fresh faces, former champions or recently eliminated contenders all will battle with one winner advancing into the next X-Division title match. (via

Huh. Okay. I guess that sounds neat. The good news is they’re forced to bring in additional people, because otherwise it’ll be the same matches we’ve been seeing for weeks, but every single one a title shot. While TNA has a terrible history when it comes to finances, if they are still paying per-appearance, it could end up being a really great showcase for a lot of up and coming talent while putting a little bit of extra money in some independent wrestler’s pockets. The bad news is TNA is horrid when it comes to finances, and it could be too much risk for little reward. But, we shall see. For now, I will take my Kenny King promos and memories of once was, and look to the future with tentative optimism.

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