The Best And Worst Of Impact Wrestling 3/7/13: All Works And No Joseph Park Make Danielle Something Something

By: 03.08.13


We didn’t get to talk about this last week, but I’m pretty sure my howling, delighted laughter was heard ‘round the world. It all starts out fine, and AJ’s wife makes some good points, and really sells the effects of the Claire Lynch storyline. And then, at minute 1:30, AJ Styles stumbles into his house and…well, you can see for yourself. It’s much more effective than me typing HAHAHAHAHAHA for seven pages. Because HAHAHAHAHAHA!

This week, the camera crew tracks down AJ Styles and he is SO MAD, Y’ALL. Then again, I would be angry too if the company I had devoted years to produced a t-shirt that spelled my name in ejaculate. The shirt is called “discharge.” You are fooling no one, TNA Shop. That’s cum and you know it. And it makes AJ so mad.

Best: Hey, we found Trent Barreta!

This explains so much.



Worst: Thanks for showing up EY, but we’re not going to need you

Eric Young reminds of us that serious EY is seriously good. He and ODB get to have an adorable little moment before the corpse of Sting wanders up to them, so my heart is happy, but then he immediately starts making his case to be the one to go out and face Aces & Eights in the third and final match to determine who will have an extra man and the advantage going into Lethal Lockdown. He makes some deft arguments, and cuts the best promo of the entire show. He makes you want to follow him into the war Magnus was muttering on about earlier. Sting responds with a wanking motion and sends The Superkick of the Cowboy James Storm out instead. Well, not a literal wanking motion, but he may as well have. I know you’re half dead Sting, but come on, that didn’t stir a single thing in your joker-painted heart? None of your feelings descended from the rafters and made you consider EY for a second? Not a single Stinger tear splashed down? Unbelievable.

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