Best: Open The Raw Main Event Gate
WWE main events where everybody muddles around until the end where they get REALLY EXCITED and start hitting finishers on each other until the last guy hits his and wins is pretty cliche, but it’s exciting enough, and a lot better than a main-event tag team thing. I don’t think the outcome was ever in question. After two years of Shawn Michaels and two years of Triple H, do you really think they’d to Taker/Big Show?
So yeah, I’m excited for this, and I hope it turns out well. I’m glad I’m not booking it, though. If I’d booked the end of this Raw, Taker would’ve walked out all slowly in his Super Shredder outfit with CM Punk making Big Bad Wolf faces at him, only for Taker to suddenly SPRINT to the ring and start tearing Punk to shreds with his MONSTROUS OUTFIT OF DEADLY SPIKES. I know that would be counterproductive and probably result in a homicide, but God, just once I wanted Hawk and Animal to solve a problem by putting on their spiked shoulderpads and just football tackling their opponents to death. Taker can’t wear a suit of spikes and not stab somebody eventually, right?
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night
No, Lance was full of HGH, and so are you, Rock.
There should be a big reveal that the Rock died during last year’s WM and John has been in Fight Club ever since
This show really is old school! I feel inadequate and stupid for liking wrestling and I am going to hide that I do from all the cool kids at my school.
Busting his ass? that explains the stain last week
What about my ASS? Should my ASS call somebody?
Dolph Ziggler, Billy Gunn, and Ric Flair could play the ghost of wrestlers present, future, and dementia
“Well that’s just mean”
[Mark Henry rips up his poem]
Randy Orton will take on Chris Hansen at Wrestlemania. Can Chris Hansen catch a predator?
Man Of 1004 Holds
People watched the finale of LOST and were so mad about the unanswered questions and continuity errors, but not me. I watch professional wrestling.
Flair should have came out with Repo Man to take his figure four back
See you all next week. Share this column with everyone you know!