The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 3/18/13: Rufus ‘Pancake’ Patterson, Episode One

By: 03.19.13  •  152 Comments

Triple H Paul Heyman playin' sexy games

Worst, OH GOD THE WORST: Triple H Signs A Contract

This was … bad.

Last year I adopted a system to help me deal with those terrible Triple H/Undertaker segments where they didn’t fight, they just cut their hair and talked about THIS BUSINESS: I’d include a picture of cuddly baby kittens and an animated GIF of Hayley Williams from the band Paramore. It worked, but Jesus, I don’t know what to do if the Brock/Triple H feud is going to be built around forced undressings instead of bloody faces. Maybe another Hayley GIF?

It’s … no, it’s not working. I’m still seeing that contract signing in my head. Maybe a picture of Hayley’s amazing hair from SXSW?

That hair is great, but no, still nothing. I’m still suffering. I mean, honestly, I think I’d have to be in the same room as Hayley, possibly standing in her personal space, watching her do funny wrestling poses. Something extremely fantastic like that would have to happen.

Brandon Stroud and Hayley Williams are best friends in real life and this is not something I just made up, shut up

There we go.

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