I’m not much of a gambling man, as I would hate to end up the subject of a 30-for-30-style documentary about incredibly handsome bloggers who blew their entire fortunes by losing money at picking Top Chef winners. I do, however, appreciate a good gentleman’s bet, or in this case a very attractive lady’s bet, in which money is cast aside for personal humiliation.
Unfortunately, I do not know the terms of the bet that resulted in a 23-year old Russian girl named Alina Borodina (above, as identified by Red Hot Russia) running through traffic on a busy street in just her bikini. What I do know is that Alina is a very wonderful person and I would very much like to introduce her to my mother. Also, her name rhymes and that means she might be a Disney princess, in which case she’s ridiculously wealthy.
While I don’t really have any further context to this video, I do have a theory as to why this woman “humiliated” herself by running around in a bikini.
Here’s what is actually known:
It turned out that the race took place on February 28. The girl has been punished already: for the traffic violation she paid a fine of 200 rubles [ed: about six-and-a-half USD]. Of course, that’s a small amount. But this actually may negatively affect her future career: for example, the girl won’t be able to get a job in law enforcement body or the court, – said police employee Dmitry Amelin.
He added that the 23-year-old runner admitted her fault and promised that this will not happen again. However, police could not find out the exact reason behind her stunt.
First of all, a 200 ruble fine? The drivers should have paid her. More importantly, since we don’t know about the actual bet, I’m just going to guess that her boyfriend came up to me in a bar last week and was like, “I bet I can do more pushups than you”, to which I replied, “I don’t gamble, sir, as I am a gentleman and passionate poet.” But he kept poking me in the chest with his finger and was like, “You just know that I can do more pushups than you” and I said, “I didn’t say that, sir, and it is well-documented that I am an international pushup champion, now please leave me and my model friends to our discussion about physics and whatnot.”
Then the bro poured a beer on my head and shouted, “Listen you woman, you’re going to accept my challenge – if you win, my babe runs down the street in her bikini. But if I win, I get your treasure map that reveals the location of Neil Armstrong’s moon diamonds.” With my moon diamonds on the line, I begrudgingly accepted.
It wasn’t easy. The guy easily topped 500 pushups, barely breaking a sweat. But that wasn’t enough to beat me, because I’m still doing pushups right now. Alina upheld her end of the bargain and sprinted down the busy street. It was awfully frigid that night, so I followed and offered her my coat, while doing no-handed pushups, of course. We spent the next several days traveling the world in my mega-luxury yacht, even as I was still doing pushups, and her boyfriend was never heard from again. Some say that they can still hear him counting my pushups late at night, far off in the Ural mountains.
Naturally, I don’t remember any of this, but it just feels like it happened, you know?