The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 4/29/13: Tug Of War, Dancing Contests And Mystery Gifts

By: 04.30.13

Best: Believe In The Goddamn Shield

And now, a summation of some of the things I enjoy about Raw lately.

Ryback is right. Ryback said that Cena’s ankle would be a liability, and Cena was all NEVER GIVE UP about it and demanded that he was fine. The match happens, Cena tags in, immediately hurts himself and tags out. Bryan and Kane do all the work. Then, when the match is about to be won, Cena comes back in, overdoes it, hurts himself trying to deadlift people when he could just slam them or whatever and eats a spear. He loses, clean, because why? Because his ankle was a liability. He’s hurt. Ryback is smart, and Cena is stupid.

Daniel Bryan and Dean Ambrose, and also Seth Rollins I guess. I love watching Bryan and Ambrose wrestle, especially when they start working in shit they did together on the independent circuit. That surfboard with a nostril grab was straight out of the midwest. Also, I’ve never been a big Tyler Black fan, but NXT really made him into the best wrestler he could be, and he’s excelling in the “WWE style” by being JUST outside of it. He seems like a dude actually trying to wrestle a wrestling match and being a showy asshole about it. A more subtle version of Ziggler’s schtick. It works, and I like him. I even like Leakee now, which, I mean, lord.

BELIEVE IN THE GODDAMN SHIELD I SAID. The Shield wins the match clean via “the damned numbers game.” The number 3 against the number 3. The same numbers game they always win. A young, heel stable who dress like the Attitude Era Big Bossman, arrive via helicopter and win their matches by being awesome at tag team wrestling. I love that more than I love anything.

Worst: Stop It, Cena, You Nerd

If you want to enjoy this match less, watch Cena whenever he’s on the apron. He will not stop acting like an idiot. He does the YES arms for Bryan’s chants, makes goofy faces whenever Kane does anything, paces around and dances around and shuffles around and … he’s just terrible. Watch him. You’ll want to punch him in the face.

(Kill him, Ryback.)

Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week


Ricardo used some of that deer antler spray.


“What’s your wish?”

“To see John Cena…”

“Well, here he is!”

“You didn’t let me finish! I wanna see John Cena retire and leave forever.”


Cena should be wearing a shirt that says “BOO ME NOW BITCHES.”



These Triple H/Brock matches are gonna keep happening until you people just give in and give Hunter that 5 minutes standing ovation he believes he deserves.

DevilDinosaur, about all matches:

I fully expect this match to end with Cesaro getting pinned

TopRopeKid, re: Kaitlyn’s admirer

Mickie James!?


Ryback: “I want John Cena tonight and I don’t care what I have to next card do to get him one on one in the next card ring tonight”


My new favorite WWE moment:

John Cena: “hey man, tag me in”

Daniel Bryan: “…no.”


The Shield are going to be the first wrestlers that jump their opponents from behind by coming in from the ramp.

See you all next week!

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