Adam Scott winning the Masters with an incredible putt in an intense playoff was great for several reasons:
- He’s the first Australian to ever win the Masters, so his green jacket is a massive relief to golf fans in Britain’s former penal colony*.
- Whenever he wins, people incorrectly Tweet at actor Adam Scott, and that must be funny, because he’s all, “Why are people Tweeting at me about golf? Oh, because we have the same name.” It’s like when someone named Ashley Burns won on Wheel of Fortune and my ex-wives were like, “HALF!” Suckers.
- Because I could have potentially won several hundred pieces of paper had Angel Cabrera won, and I need to be reminded that gambling is wrong. You know, if I had been gambling, which I wasn’t.
- Tiger Woods not winning means we weren’t buried in an avalanche of “Tiger should have withdrawn!” columns from contrarian sports writers who weren’t at Augusta and wouldn’t even write about golf if it weren’t for Tiger.
- That picture above.
Man, that photo of Scott taking in the moment is the cat’s pajamas, as my grandfather would have said in a strip club. But Scott deserves better in his big moment, so I decided to fancy up his glorious photo a little with the help of some photoshop. I bet you can’t even tell that I made changes.
Come on, I can do better.
Better, damn it.
Yikes. Come on, bring us home.
Congrats, Adam Scott. m/ m/
*Yes, I included that unnecessary historical point solely to use the words penal and colony right next to each other. Yerrrrrrrrrrrr welcome.