Jon Jones Didn't Really Fracture His Toe, You Guys *Wink, Wink*

In case you missed our amazing, award-winning UFC 159 live discussion (4th runner-up at the Ms. Alaska Recently-Divorced Ladies pageant) and my “Oh please make the GIFs stop” recap on Monday, UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones suffered a bit of an ouchy boo-boo on his toe-toe during his first round TKO of Chael Sonnen last Saturday night.

Originally, it was believed that he had suffered a compound fracture, because the video of his toe snapping looked a lot like Linda Blair’s head spinning around in The Exorcist. However, according to Dr. Robert Klapper, the Chief Orthopedic Surgeon at Cedars-Sinai Hospital, if that is his real name and professional title, it was just a simple dislocation and he’ll be back to fighting in two months, tops.

“The rehab involves, number one, you put [the toe] back into place,” Klapper said. “Line it up again. Wash out the joint because there’s lots of bad bacteria on that mat, and you need to make sure there’s no infection. The rehabilitation is just let things scar down, which they will. Because there’s no fracture of the bone — it’s just a dislocation — in six weeks it’s healed, then you start range of motion and strengthening. Back to fighting, six to eight weeks.” (Via Cage Potato)

Look, I understand that Jones is a true champion’s champion and that he wants to get back in the octagon as soon as he can and take on Lyoto Machida or Alexander Gustafsson or both of them at the same time.

Now, I’m no fancy, big city slicker doctor type with a degree from DeVry, but I could see Jones and the doctors maybe trying to convince us that this bowl of rat turds is actually lobster pizza.

Because I’ve seen this:

And I’ve seen this:

And I went back and looked at this again:

And then I looked at this, because I was ill:

So if Dr. Klapper’s being 100% truthful, then that is the gnarliest dislocation I’ve ever seen.

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