Aleksander Emelianenko is fighting Bob Sapp. It is going to be amazing.
As Cage Potato phrased it, it’s one of the most notorious can-crushers in MMA history against its most notorious can, and the only pertinent question is “will Alexander throw or land a punch before Sapp drops and pretends to be incapacitated.” My cat could knock out Bob Sapp by jumping onto his lap.
To hype the fight, Emelianenko has gone into outer space to punch-murder sand pirates. I mean, that’s what I pieced together by watching this video. I don’t speak Russian, so maybe I’m wrong. Check it out for yourself, and ponder how hilarious Bob Sapp’s return diss is gonna be if the opening blow is “I cannot be held in the chains of space sand pirates.”
Here’s an exclusive look at the storyboards for the clip:
Scene 1 - SUDDENLY, STARFIELD. Note: Make this look as much like the closing credits of a Marvel movie as possible.
Scene 2 - Aleksander Emelianenko wanders in, stops the special effects with a remote control and speaks Russian while being so bored he can barely keep from collapsing.
Scene 3 - SANDFIGHTERS HAVE CAPTURED ALEKSANDER, BUT HE BREAKS FREE FROM THE CHAINS THAT HAVE BEEN … uh, loosely wrapped around his body to ATTACK THE SANDMEN AND PUNCH OFF THEIR HEADS. YEAHHHH. Note: have children make the sandfighters.
The best part is that Bob Sapp has been lying on the ground waiting for the fight to end since this was uploaded.