As someone who has a standing rule to leave all Orlando Magic games with two minutes left to beat the slow jerkwads down the escalators, I understand that people want to dip out a little earlier than the rest of the mob. But if you just paid at least three digits to see your team play in the NBA Finals and they’re not losing by at least 10 with no less than 15 seconds left, then you have absolutely no excuse for leaving your seats.
And if you’re caught by local news cameras leaving the arena as your team pulls off an incredible 5-point rally in less than 28 seconds and again when you’re screaming about wanting back in because you paid so much for your tickets, I will endorse any local newsperson who wants to call you an idiot or worse.
That said, Heat by 23 in Game 7.
Dodgers at Yankees – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2
The second half of a doubleheader that I don’t give two tickles of a tadpole’s taint about.
College World Series
Oregon State at Indiana – 8 PM ET on ESPN
What if “elimination game” actually meant a battle for one team’s life? Wait, I think I just wrote Aaron Eckhart’s next straight-to-DVD movie.
Stanley Cup Finals
Game 4: Blackhawks at Bruins – 8 PM ET on NBC
Oh can we watch this one on NBC, NBC? There’s no Voice highlight show on tonight? Gee, you spoil us, NBC. I hope Tuukka Rask curses again.
Bellator MMA – 8 PM ET on Spike
Muhammed Lawal vs. Seth Petruzelli in a light-heavyweight semifinal in Thackerville, Okla. Also: Renato Sobral vs. Jacob Noe; Vinicius Queiroz vs. Rich Hale; and War Machine vs. Blas Avena.
I should really start watching this show.