With Leather’s Watch This: Soccer Can Be Kind Of Cool Sometimes, I Guess

I’m told by people not as handsome as me that this video has been everywhere the past two days, but I haven’t cared because:

A) I only watch soccer during the World Cup and Olympics.
B) It doesn’t involve Alex Morgan.
C) I’m still terrified that just by reading a story about soccer, I might have my head chopped off by angry Brazilians.

But after some insistence from a friend, I chose to watch Matt Eliason’s bicycle kick goal during the Messi & Friends match, and it was pretty damn awesome. But I have to ask – what’s up with all the sour pusses around him? Does Eliason smell like farts or something? I expected someone to punch him in the balls after that.

As for sports on TV tonight, HOO BOY, it might be time to read a book or mow your lawn.

Tour de France: Stage 10 – 8 PM ET on NBC Sports

I’m going to keep saying it over and over – until they let every last cyclist juice up until they’re the size of a silverback gorilla, I won’t watch this sham of a mockery of a shamockery.

WNBA: Atlanta at Minnesota – 9 PM ET on ESPN 2

I do not know anything about the people or actions involved in this particular sporting event.

World University Summer Games: Women’s Beach Volleyball – 8 PM ET on ESPN U

I should probably host a live discussion for this. #BUTTS

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