I’m told by people not as handsome as me that this video has been everywhere the past two days, but I haven’t cared because:
A) I only watch soccer during the World Cup and Olympics.
B) It doesn’t involve Alex Morgan.
C) I’m still terrified that just by reading a story about soccer, I might have my head chopped off by angry Brazilians.
But after some insistence from a friend, I chose to watch Matt Eliason’s bicycle kick goal during the Messi & Friends match, and it was pretty damn awesome. But I have to ask – what’s up with all the sour pusses around him? Does Eliason smell like farts or something? I expected someone to punch him in the balls after that.
As for sports on TV tonight, HOO BOY, it might be time to read a book or mow your lawn.
Tour de France: Stage 10 – 8 PM ET on NBC Sports
I’m going to keep saying it over and over – until they let every last cyclist juice up until they’re the size of a silverback gorilla, I won’t watch this sham of a mockery of a shamockery.
WNBA: Atlanta at Minnesota – 9 PM ET on ESPN 2
I do not know anything about the people or actions involved in this particular sporting event.
World University Summer Games: Women’s Beach Volleyball – 8 PM ET on ESPN U
I should probably host a live discussion for this. #BUTTS