Assuming that Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson never get back together, the loving relationship between Bellator fighter Jon ‘War Machine’ Koppenhaver and adult film star Christy Mack is our favorite porn-to-MMA romance. She got PROPERTY OF WAR MACHINE tattooed on her shoulder. He gets so mad at the Internet that he’ll punch himself in the face to keep from murdering strangers and last month made a bunch of jokes about how he’d raped her. If they can’t stay together forever, who can?
Unfortunately love is dead, and we’re going to be alone forever, because War Machine and Christy Mack might be done. Last night, a display of Internet affection ultimately revealed that Mack had left the couple’s home after hacking Warmie’s e-mail and finding out that he’s still in love with his deported ex-wife. Whoops!
If you’re confused about the 143 thing, they’re quoting a song by Musiq Soulchild, because of course they are.
Despite their love, the couple spent all night passive-aggressively subtweeting each other. Here’s the story from War Machine’s perspective:
Yes, lol. And here’s the story from “CM” (pipe bomb!):
At some point they started responding to the subtweets, and it just got sadder and sadder.
I really hope they aren’t breaking up. War Machine should be honest with his ex-wife and/or direct her to his Twitter which is full of tons of pictures of him boinking Christy Mack, and Christy should look at her shoulder and remember that she is property. That’s easy, right?
If that doesn’t work, both of them should start dating Tito Ortiz.