Yesterday I unwisely suggested that the photo of the high school student who took a selfie when his teacher was having a painful contraction should be the new American flag. Oh, what a misguided fool I was. No, the only flag I want to pledge allegiance to is the one that shows celebrity picker Bill Murray wearing a tie-dye Piggly Wiggly shirt on ESPN’s College GameDay. Preferably while body-slamming Lee Corso, as so.
Bill Murray is the greatest American.