9) When the crowd gets too loud during games, Coach K directs his players using a high-pitched scream.
8) He’s not coaching. This is how he proposed to his wife.
7) Coach K has won 17 Grammys for his ongoing series of albums, “Cover Songs to Get Horny To.”
6) If Coach K ever punched you, your face would turn into sand.
5) Mike rarely ever has endorsement deals, not because it sends the wrong message to players, but because of this watch ad that bankrupted the company.
4) Seconds later, a very embarrassed Grant Hill apologized to the mop boy for sweating so much.
1) And with one simple motion, Coach K snapped the spines of the entire crowd at the Dean Smith Center.
And as an added bonus, I have obtained this exclusive proof that Coach K will live forever using cloning to harvest basketball genius stem cells.
(Images via Getty, original sperm via Shutterstock)