The Best And Worst Of Smackdown 2/21/14: Don’t Go Chasing Snake Boners

By: 02.22.14

Worst: Sure, Let’s Wait Until After The Olympics To Debut The Russian Guy

Okay, fine, he’s Bulgarian, but who the f–k knows anything about Bulgaria? I’d wager the folks running WWE don’t. He’s supposed to be Russian. So why, when the eyes of the world are on Russia, is Rusev and his beautiful main roster perm wasting time on these pointless backstage segments? He needs to be blasting his way through a cardboard bathroom door and chasing a stray dog down to ringside with his board, like, now.

Worst: When Jobbers Feud, There Are No Winners

Woof. Thought I was being too pessimistic about Titus and Darren’s prospects when they broke up a couple weeks ago? I direct your attention to this segment. Darren’s on commentary being aggressively bullied by JBL, while Titus wrestles in front of a crowd mostly made up of librarians based on the noise levels, then Darren distracts Titus and he’s rolled up by Dolph Ziggler, the man with the least momentum in the company.

Initially I thought one of these guys was going to “win” their feud and get at least a small push, but now I’m pretty sure they’re planning to rig the ring with springs so that both Titus and Darren are shot through the roof like Perfection pieces once their Elimination Chamber match is finished.

On the plus side, I’m rounding up here, but Darren Young looks approximately 8000 times less dorky now that he’s trimming the sides of his hair.

Best: Old Man Dogg

Not much to say about this Road Dogg vs. Uso match, other than I continue to enjoy Road Dogg as the old guy who doesn’t like getting hit, lifting things, moving faster than a mosey or really anything other than sitting in his favorite chair in a weed haze. This Outlaws/Usos thing needs to culminate in them covering the ring in turf for a literal “get off my lawn” match.

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