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The Best And Worst Of Smackdown 2/21/14: Don’t Go Chasing Snake Boners

By 02.22.14

Best: Desperate Christian

A couple weeks back I declared Christian my favorite WWE good guy, but I may like him as a heel even better. Desperate heel Christian is a great character, and one that most “top” WWE guys wouldn’t get to do, due to top guys always having to be invulnerable superstars. Christian on the other hand, is a top guy, but, you know, not really, so they’re okay with Christian admitting he’s held together with worn out shoelaces and used Band-Aids, and that every match could be the match he finally explodes into a cloud of mummy dust. John Cena can be covered head-to-toe with weird baseball-sized bulges and still has to be all “Imma fight, fight, fight!”

Desperate heel Christian is a bad person, but he ain’t a bad guy, if you know what I’m saying. He isn’t your typical heel — he doesn’t gloat or taunt the audience when he does something evil. Christian, underrated actor that he is, always makes it seem like he’s committing these dirty deed reluctantly, but that doesn’t make him any less dangerous. I love how Christian has lost every match leading up to the Chamber, and yet he’s left a trail of destruction behind him, injuring both Bryan and Sheamus. Wrestling doesn’t do these kind of spoiler villains enough — the guys who know they can’t win deep down, but are out to make sure the heroes don’t win either.

So yeah, I liked Christian vs. Sheamus a lot. Credit where credit is due, Sheamus was also great — for a guy his size and level on the card, Sheamus is remarkably willing to scream like a baby when being worked over.

Worst: I Miss You Big Dumb Gold Belt

Sigh. I know unifying the two World Titles into one title that means something was a good thing in a big picture sort of way, but I am a bit sad the era when guys like Christian could become champ has drawn to a close.

Not that Christian as champ drew money or ratings or sold replica belts or whatever, but we’d be out a really interesting character if it weren’t for the World Heavyweight Title. Mark Henry would still a guy who never lived up to his potential without that title. Hunico would probably be playing Rey Mysterio now without that title. Jack Swagger would be Frankenstein walking to the unemployment office without that title. You deserved better big dumb gold belt.

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