The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 2/17/14: Hard Fart Victories

By: 02.18.14

Best/Worst: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus Was Pretty Good, But Had Absolutely No Hope Following Cena/Cesaro

At this point if Randy Orton wrestles Sheamus and it doesn’t devolve into the crowd chanting J-B-L and RAN-DY SAV-AGE, do we consider it a Best?

Sheamus and Orton worked pretty hard out there, but they had no hope of being a notable thing after what Cena and Cesaro did. I guess the order of the matches had to be the way they were to set up the schmozz at the end, but by the main I was pretty much ready to call it night. A supplemental Best goes to Sheamus, though, for being a straight-shooting tough guy since his return, and not so much the constant racist childish weirdo that put such a divide between how much I love his wrestling and how much I hate his character. I’m finding it very easy to cheer for Sheamus right now, and I just wanted to point that out in some public forum in case the one hip intern who reads me passes this along. Sheamus is an enormous guy with muscles who beats the mess out of people. He doesn’t need to make jokes, too.


Best: A Bad Guy Team Just Started Punching Another Bad Guy Team And The Crowd Lost It

The Shield and the Wyatts finally came to blows at the end of the night, and how awesome is it that with five of WWE’s top stars and Christian in the ring, it’s the bad guy team vs. bad guy team feud that pops everyone hardest? I’m stoked for the match at Elimination Chamber, and I hope it goes sixty minutes and we have to do it again in New Orleans.

I’m still expecting that helicopters vs. cult army battle, and anything less will be a disappointment.

Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night


As far as Zeb can tell, “Three ain’t enough man, I need five” refers to the number of fifths of a person Big E feels he is entitled to be.


Did Tony Schiavone just screamed out “WE’RE ALL OUT OF TIME!!! SEE YOU ON WCW THUNDER!” ???

El Platano

the only way Cena’s shirt is acceptable is if they also 8 bit his entrance theme


“Nah I’m just kidding, I have no chance”- Christian


So, wait, since Hunico is now Sin Cara, is Kane filling in for Hunico?

Johnny Slider

Seth Rollins just littered. Somewhere, a single tear rolls down CJ Parker’s cheek.

Greg Manuel

Fun Fact: Antonio Cesaro graduated Magna Cum Laude from the Rick Steiner Academy of Interrupting Leapfrogs.


Reigns walks up, poses, lays down cardboard


[Harper and Rowan pop and lock behind Bray while he spinaroonis]


Bray should come out to his Los Matadores match in full butcher’s gear and send the Shield the choicest cuts of El Torito.


Wait so John Cena isn’t recognized as the first black WWE Champion?

Thanks, everybody. Be here for the Chamber this weekend, all right?

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