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Sadly, Blake Griffin Did Not ‘Slap The Sh*t’ Out Of Justin Bieber At A Starbucks

By / 02.10.14
A very smackable Justin Bieber

Slap away.


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If an NBA star as noteworthy and mostly-beloved as Los Angeles Clippers forward Blake Griffin did something as incredible as slap Justin Bieber, it would become the No. 1 story of 2014 within a matter of seconds. If Griffin slapped Bieber in a Starbucks, there would be videos galore on YouTube within fractions of one second, because everyone in that coffee shop would have had cameras on the pop star as soon as he entered. And if Griffin “slapped the shit out of” Bieber in a Starbucks because he wouldn’t put a shirt on, the Internet and possibly even the world would have collapsed from such an incredible event.

Yet here I am in a pair of Doritos-stained sweatpants still typing away while Bieber is running around out there, slap-free and still full of shit. Several BS gossip sites that don’t need to be linked created a hell of a rumor today, though, and so many people were quick to post the story that Griffin indeed “slapped the shit out of” a shirtless Bieber in a Starbucks to Facebook and Twitter, because it just sounds so gosh-danged amazing. Sadly, the folks at Gossip Cop are a little more grounded in something called reality.

On Monday, a number of sports blogs reported that Griffin “smacked the sh*t” out of Bieber after the star refused to put on a shirt inside the West Hollywood coffee shop.

The sites quoted a purported Starbucks barista as saying, “He came in with no shirt on and his pants hanging down and underwear showing and tried to order a caramel apple machiatto. I just told him he would have to put a shirt on if he wanted to order.”

The supposed employee claimed Griffin was sitting at a table nearby, and stepped in and “smacked the sh*t” out of Bieber when the employee asked him.

“I saw Justin stumble out of the door looking like he was crying,” added the so-called barista. (Via Gossip Cop)

Alas, the only remotely good news about the ongoing collapse of Bieber is that the Los Angeles County District Attorney apparently has the evidence needed to prosecute Bieber for the felony egging of his neighbor’s home. When I asked our team of legal experts if a celebrity like Bieber would actually receive a suitable punishment for such a crime, they offered this response:

Middle finger revolving

(Banner via Getty)


TAGSBLAKE GRIFFINfake newsJustin BieberLos Angeles ClippersNBASO DISAPPOINTINGSTARBUCKSWE KNOW YOU'RE TIRED OF JUSTIN BIEBER NEWS

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