This Five-Year-Old Kid Rapping In Celebration Of Black History Month I...
The Primer: 10 Nujabes Songs Everyone Should Know

The Winners And Losers Of Major League Baseball’s Photo Day(s)

By / 02.26.14
‹ Prev
Next ›
Use your ← → keys to navigate

1 David Ortiz

Getty Image


For the past week, Major League Baseball players have been gathering for one of the sport’s greatest traditions - team photo day. Much like a high school yearbook photo shoot or your Glamour Shots session at Sears, the players get to take a variety of shots, from zany and quirky to serious and professional, and there are always a bunch of players that end up looking like big, ol’ doofuses. Of course, they’re doofuses that make between six and eight figures, but they still look like they’re competing in the King Dweeb contest.

Other players, like David Ortiz up there with his World Series trophies, end up looking much better and often cooler than the dorks, so I decided to break some of this year’s Photo Day efforts down into winners and losers. Ultimately, there’s only one reason that I even wanted to post these photos, but you’ll have to be patient until we get to that.

2 Adam Wainwright

Getty Image


Winner: That is one classy and professional photo right there. Intelligent, too. Leave it up to my main man Waino to show us all how it’s done… wait for it… it’s coming… you know the words, so say them along… the right way.

3 Jason Motte

Getty Image


Loser: Fun on photo day? Not in Baseball City USA. I hope that Motte is not only reprimanded by his own teammates, but also sports blogs and websites, as well as any Twitter accounts that pigeonhole fans based on hand-selected stupidity.

4 Yu Darvish

Getty Image


Loser: Why block the guy’s face? That seems mean. What if his mom wants to put this photo on her refrigerator but then her friends come over and they make fun of her behind her back? I can’t believe they’d do that to her.

during photo day on February 23, 2014 in Viera, Florida.

Getty Image


Winner: This is bound to be picked up by an indie band that is in need of a deep, meaningful album cover.

6 Justin Verlander

Getty Image


Winner: Words cannot express how much I hate this man for how much of a winner he actually is.

7 Chris Herrmann

Getty Image


Winner: If this baseball thing doesn’t work out, Chris always has the option to pursue his other career as Herrmy the Clown at kids birthday parties.

8 Derek Jeter

Getty Image


Loser: Poor guy doesn’t even have the energy to smile for his last Photo Day picture. Let this be a lesson, kids. If you spend your entire career sleeping with the world’s most attractive women and winning a lot of World Series titles, you’re going to eventually stop feeling happiness.

9 LJ Hoes

Getty Image


Loser: Come on, dude. A Flava Flav clock? Did Brett Wallace already call dibs on the giant clown sunglasses?

poses during Chicago Cubs photo day on February 24, 2014 in Tempe, Arizona.

Getty Image


Winner: Now THAT is how you rock a Photo Day mustache. This could be a Tag Heuer ad.

11 Tim Lincecum

Getty Image


Loser: How much do Tim’s friends hate him to not put a stop to this Justin Bieber pubestache look?

12 Nick Swisher

Getty Image


Loser: Only because I assume that after this photo was taken, he held the mini bat to his crotch and pretended it was his penis.

13 Juan Jaime

Getty Image


Loser: Does this guy even know how to throw a baseball? Has he ever held a baseball before? This reminds me of Liz Lemon spinning a basketball and blowing kisses for her Dealbreakers promo.

> on February 25, 2014 in Dunedin, Florida.

Getty Image


Winner: I mean, not really, but I’m afraid that if I call him a loser when he looks this depressed that I might have to Baker Act him.

15 Chris Davis

Getty Image


Winner: Hey ladies…

16 Giancarlo Stanton

Getty Image


Loser: Because he’s still in a Marlins uniform.

17 Aramis Ramirez

Getty Image


Loser: Apparently the Milwaukee Brewers went with the selfie option for Photo Day this year.

18 Eric Sogard

Getty Image


Winner: Not only does he play second base for the Oakland Athletics, but Eric also does all of his teammates’ taxes.

19 Corky Miller

Getty Image


Winner: Finally, someone is adding a little thunder back to the name Corky after Chris Kattan did his best to destroy it.

> on February 25, 2014 in Dunedin, Florida.

Getty Image


Winner: No. 1 on the home run list and in your hearts, Toronto. Unfortunately, that’s still only good enough for fourth place in the AL East.

21 Miguel Sano

Getty Image


Loser: Why is this guy smiling as he attacks me with a bat? Please don't hit me with a bat, Miguel.

22 Justin Masterson

Getty Image


Winner: This will end up being an inspirational meme at some point during the season, if not by the marketing department of the Cleveland Indians, then by a zany sports blogger like myself.

23 Brock Huntzinger

Getty Image


Loser: Dude, don’t eat ribs on Photo Day.

24 Nik Turley

Getty Image


Loser: He looks like he just visited the witch doctor from Beetlejuice.

25 Craig Bjornson

Getty Image


WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Begin Slide Show ›
TAGSADAM WAINWRIGHTdavid ortizDEREK JETERJASON MOTTEJAYSON WERTHJOSE BAUTISTAJUSTIN VERLANDERMAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALLMLBmustachesNICK SWISHERPHOTO DAYTIM LINCECUMYU DARVISH
View Single Page

Join The Discussion


[avatar]

Join the discussion. or Register



Sign Up



Powered by WordPress.com VIP