The 1-seed Arizona Wildcats saw their Final Four hopes and dreams dashed on Saturday in a thrilling 64-63 loss to the 2-seed Wisconsin Badgers, and that must have been pretty hard for the players to handle. It was even harder for the fans to handle, apparently, because they all went out into the streets and acted like a bunch of a-holes, like any good sports fans would do. Fortunately, the Tucson Police Department was quick to arrive to the scene on University Avenue, and officers quietly and responsibly convinced fans to either go back into the bars or go home.
Wait, sorry, I’m being told that the police acted like a bunch of a-holes, too, and now officers are being investigated by internal affairs for using excessive and violent force on innocent people. If only the Wildcats had just done their job and won the damn game, we could have all gone about our lives and only talked about how Arizona fans were arrested and assaulted during their celebration riot. Fortunately, social media has made it far too easy to keep track of the best in sports riots these days – just take a look at that epic selfie, you guys! – so let’s go for a rundown of everything that happened in Tucson on Saturday night.
That was the scene on University Ave., as police tried to disperse the crowd while shrieking harpies shouted, “Are you kidding me?!?!” instead of simply listening and complying. “But Burnsy, you can’t side with the goose-stepping fascist police and their Big Brother ways, man!” Look, I’ve done my fair share of power-fightin’ over the years, but I’m just simply not as tough and cool as the gentleman who has come to be known as “Arizona Bro.” Move over, guy who stood in front of a tank in Tiananmen Square.
Those vague Twitter photos barely do Arizona Bro any justice, though. This is, after all, what Vine was invented for, so let’s get some live action of this unstoppable man of equal parts blazer and machismo.
You may think you’re cool, but you’ll never be inviting the riot police to kick your ass cool.
Oh hey, remember the Vancouver riots and that couple that posed for that picture to make it look like they were making out? Did this riot deliver any awesome photos like that to perhaps juxtapose the innocence and ignorance of youth with the iron hammer of corruption and brutality known as the American police state?
“Uh hey guys, my Prius is right behind you. I’d just like to get to it and go home, thanks.”
The University of Arizona’s newspaper, the Daily Wildcat, also has an incredible gallery of photos from Saturday night, including another description of how the students, fans and police were all behaving:
Riots broke out along University Blvd. and trailed to Fourth Ave. Wildcat fans shouted “Fuck Wisconsin,” “Fuck the police,” and “U. Of. A.” The Tucson Police Department took control of the crowd by using pepper balls and pepper spray.
The Daily Wildcat’s Twitter feed was a go-to source for all things senseless riot, as it revealed quite a few interesting notes about the evening’s stupidity, including the very important reminder that things like this:
Can lead to this:
But I’m sure that it was totally worth it for all of the insane asshole fans and officers involved. Maybe next year, Wildcats.